To want to run away

[LostJennyWren]

Today is my 25th birthday, likely the last birthday I will ever have. I have recently been diagnosed with a rare cancer, and the prognosis is not good. I have a two year old daughter. Every time I look at her my heart breaks. She will never remember me.
Anyway, all of my family and friends want me to enjoy my birthday. My DH wants us to do something special as a family and pretend everything is normal. But I can't. AIBU to just want to check myself into a hotel room alone and spend the day crying? I can't cope anymore. Nothing helps.

What?! Could you explain why this OP is fake given the amount of people who have posted in support!

There is no logical connection between the number of people posting on a thread and the veracity of the poster, CF.

I've just read all of the OP's posts through from scratch - I hadn't seen this thread last year. None of it rings true. My laptop's running slowly at the moment so it'll be too much hassle scrolling up and down, though I'm happy to do it tomorrow. (It might be just that it's a very long thread.)

inperial on p5 MNHQ look to have investigated and not found evidence that the op is a troll.

Troll hunting is rather poor form, regardless of whether the op seems suspect or not.

Really? I am pretty guilable but I haven't read anything that couldn't be true. My cousin died of cancer 2 years ago, young and left a young daughter behind so it does happen. I would have thought 'that' type of poster would have put a bit more detail in.

No, MNHQ had questioned her because in previous threads under another name she had referred to herself and her family differently.

Read what the OP says. Look at how it differs from posts made by women here who are going through cancer treatment for themselves or members of their family. The OP didn't mention the type of cancer, whether she had secondaries, the treatment she was having or any medication. That is completely unlike any other woman posting on here. She just said "It's a rare cancer."

I know that people were very kind and very concerned and gave a lot of themselves in their replies. I'm angry about someone posting like that - it's an awful thing to do.

We will never know

Of all the posts I've read on MN, this is the one I hope and pray isn't real more than any other.

Happy birthday for yesterday Jenny xx

I've still got this on watch and wonder every so often if the OP has checked in.

I suppose recent lack of posts doesn't bode well.

I half hope imperial is right, although troll hunting on a thread like this is deeply infra dig.

Hi Jenny, thinking of you xx

Still thinking of you Jenny. I hope you are at peace

Me too,I think of this thread often and my heart lurches when I see it in active wondering if there is any sort of update.

Me too - I keep it on my watch list and don't like to delete it. Thinking of you

LostJennyWren.

OP, I can only imagine how frightened you must be, and your fears are of course to be expected - I wish I could think of anything to say that you might take comfort from other than surround yourself with as much love as you can. Be kind to yourself and you definitely need to just ask for whatever time and space you need to mentally prepare and do what you want for YOU now. You will be in shock as pp said so allow yourself to feel, don't feel you have to present any sort of 'brave face'.

Your DD will want to know what sort of person you are, your interests, what your childhood was like, your mannerisms and little sayings or quirks, your handwriting, what music you like, things you've learned that you'd want her to know - hearing your voice will be wonderful in years to come so do record yourself for her if you can. You could even make a video diary and share your feelings with her so she can see you in herself, and think of what sorts of questions about your life will she'll have. It's totally ok to be emotional too - sometimes we as parents hold back to be strong for our DCs but she'll probably want to know all of that so she can feel close to you as she grows up.

Maybe even ask DH to be in them so DD can see you both together and he'll have that to treasure too.