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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To want to run away

689 replies

LostJennyWren · 15/12/2014 10:15

Today is my 25th birthday, likely the last birthday I will ever have. I have recently been diagnosed with a rare cancer, and the prognosis is not good. I have a two year old daughter. Every time I look at her my heart breaks. She will never remember me.
Anyway, all of my family and friends want me to enjoy my birthday. My DH wants us to do something special as a family and pretend everything is normal. But I can't. AIBU to just want to check myself into a hotel room alone and spend the day crying? I can't cope anymore. Nothing helps.

OP posts:
Ohfourfoxache · 25/05/2015 16:56

Jenny of course he'll remember you. My earliest memories are from about a year old, and don't forget that your DH and family will tell him all about you too. You'll never really be "gone".

I don't want to sound flippant, but if a bunch of strangers on t'internet are going to remember you, what on earth makes you think ds won't?

You're amazing Jenny. I hope you realise what an inspiration you are xx

SoleSource · 25/05/2015 17:40

Hello Jenny

My first memory is at the age of two. I remember being in my cot. You will always be remembered with love, forever x

CoveredInWit · 26/05/2015 22:49

Hey Jenny.

CoveredInWit · 26/05/2015 22:53

Sorry, hit post way too soon there. Just wanted to say thinking of you and that my earliest memories are from age 2 and crystal clear- I remember the flat we lived in, my red table and chairs, playing with my friend on the balcony connecting the two blocks, my mum in her white sandals and blue dress (no photos of this but apparently they did exist!) and my parents' lovely friend with the beard who came to stay with us for 2 weeks and slept on our spotty couch. Some memories keep for a lifetime.

JsOtherHalf · 29/05/2015 11:25

My earliest clear memory is well before I turned three, climbing out of my cot and going to find Mum in the living room. She was having a cup of tea with a friend. I have more clear memories of being 3 - we moved house, I spent time with my grandparents, how Mum played with us during a power cut, how she told me stories about man on the moon, etc.

cavkc · 16/06/2015 19:47

Hi babes, hope you're managing to enjoy some sunny weather x

CrapBag · 16/06/2015 21:33

Sorry Jenny, I've only just seen your last post.

I have lots of memories from before the age of 3, unfortunately most are bad, but they are there, very clearly. Some are just normal things and they are so vivid you would never know it happened over 30 years ago. I'm sure your son will remember you. Flowers

StuffYouAllInTheCrust · 17/06/2015 09:58

Hi Jenny, thinking of you today. Hope you're doing ok. Xx

paulapompom · 17/06/2015 10:09

Good morning Jenny, just wishing you a pleasant day xx

Mermaidhair · 17/06/2015 10:26

I lost my Mum when I was 4. She was 26 years old. I still have some memories of her. I think about her a lot. I had no one to keep the memories alive, but I still love her so much.

LucyBabs · 19/06/2015 00:48

My first memory is standing in my cot watching my Mam getting ready for a night out with my Dad.
I was no more than two. I can remember the love I felt for her and she wasn't doing anything other than just being my Mam.

Please know your ds will remember you, he will remember the love you felt for him.

You are fighting such an awful disease, please don't feel guilty that you are not interacting with him every second of the day.

Think of you often jenny xxx

QOD · 27/06/2015 00:39

Hi Jenny, checking in, I hope everything is OK Flowers

CoconutMushroom · 02/07/2015 23:03

Hi, thinking about you and your family, x

MarinaCoyle · 08/07/2015 22:33

Thinking of you Jenny xx

Poppet1974 · 08/07/2015 22:43

Hi Jenny
Sending you love and best wishes. Hope you're ok.
xx

CakeUpWall · 16/07/2015 08:08

Morning Jenny, just letting you know that I'm still thinking of you. Smile
Don't forget we're here whenever you need us!

MarinaCoyle · 16/07/2015 20:07

We haven't heard from Jenny in a long while.

If you're still with us Jenny we're all here rooting for you. If not I hope you've found peace and your family know that many people think of you and your little boy so very often.

Sending you all love and consolation.

QOD · 16/07/2015 23:39
Flowers
cardiandcrocs · 17/07/2015 01:16

Often think of 'our' Jenny and her little family Flowers

saffronwblue · 17/07/2015 06:28

Yes, me too.

PoppySausage · 18/07/2015 16:07

I don't go on mn much anymore but pop on every now and then to check in with this thread and send you love Jenny. Thinking of you all

RainbowInACloud · 12/08/2015 12:02

Hi jenny,
I often check this thread to see if you've checked in. I hope you are too busy enjoying the sunshine and your son. I also worry that you are not with us anymore and I hope you found peace if that's the case. Thinking of you.

Ohfourfoxache · 12/08/2015 17:33

Been thinking of you a lot recently Jenny - hope you're ok and having lots of fun in the sun with Dh and Ds xx

QOD · 15/08/2015 00:55
Flowers
Missdread · 15/08/2015 22:31

Jenny, I think of you whenever I'm on MN. I really hope your DS gets to read this thread someday as your love for him comes pouring out of every post you write. We all wish so much we could make it all better for you both xxx