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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To want to run away

689 replies

LostJennyWren · 15/12/2014 10:15

Today is my 25th birthday, likely the last birthday I will ever have. I have recently been diagnosed with a rare cancer, and the prognosis is not good. I have a two year old daughter. Every time I look at her my heart breaks. She will never remember me.
Anyway, all of my family and friends want me to enjoy my birthday. My DH wants us to do something special as a family and pretend everything is normal. But I can't. AIBU to just want to check myself into a hotel room alone and spend the day crying? I can't cope anymore. Nothing helps.

OP posts:
ChillySundays · 06/03/2015 13:32

Good to hear from you Jenny

Your boy sounds a delight.

Buxtonstill · 06/03/2015 17:17

Oh Jenny I am so glad you are still able to have that loving relationship with your son. I think about you very often xx

KnittingSticks · 06/03/2015 19:22

I've just read the thread and my heart is breaking for you. My head is now filled with the love you have shared about your husband and son. I'm thinking of you all xxxx

londonrach · 06/03/2015 19:40

Where are you jenny...do you need cake, washing to be done anything. Im sure local mntters be very willing to help if local so you can spend time if your boy. I know i would.

W0ndering · 06/03/2015 23:21

He feels your love. Don't doubt for a second the cuddles you lavish on him now will remain with him to cherish.

I wish you so much strength and peace lovely.

Pomegranatemolasses · 06/03/2015 23:45

The love you have for your darling boy will be felt in his heart forever.
Words are inadequate to express how desperately unfair and unfathomable this is.

Every blessing of strength and love to you, your precious ds and your dh.

notnaice · 07/03/2015 09:24

He sounds gorgeous.

QOD · 07/03/2015 17:51

I truly believe you'll never leave him, always be a place for you in his heart.
my Dd has clear memories from such a young aage, and we are so lucky nowadays with phone cameras and the ability to capture everything that that will keep you with him too x

Esssss · 07/03/2015 18:16

Jenny, I've read through this thread and can't stop thinking about it. Just wanted to send you all my love and wishing you strength in such a difficult time xxxx

QOD · 12/03/2015 16:55

Still thinking of you x

cardiandcrocs · 12/03/2015 17:34

It's strange OP. I've never met you, but like many on here, I feel such protective compassion for you.

So wish we could take it away for you. Bloody cancer.

Dragonfly71 · 12/03/2015 20:57

Your love for your Ds just shines through your posts Jenny. And that love will continue to warm and nurture him all his life, it's so strong.
We are all raging on your behalf at this shit disease and how it takes those we love away.
Hugs

PoppySausage · 12/03/2015 23:07

Lovely to hear from you Jenny. Your words are beautiful and yes, cancer is a bastard. Thinking of you all xx

tulipbulbs · 13/03/2015 09:28

dear jenny,

The most important part of parenting are the first years. If you get those right your child is given a rock solid core. You and your husband (but especially you, the beginning is all about mum) have loved and cherished your son. In his core he knows that he is loved. So he can walk into the world and find a happy place in it.

my oldest child is 17. I look at her self belief with awe. she is happy to be herself and expects to be loved. In giving your son the same thing, you have put yourself at his core. You may not know his adult face, but, he looks with your eyes on a world that he expects to accept him. You have given him this, you have made his life and you will walk in his core every day, no matter where he goes or how long he lives. Because you have loved him, he will be able to love his children and you have already given that gift to your grandchildren.

You are lucky to have love and a good man. Trust him to continue the work that you have started. He will. But, the main job is already done.

SlightlyJaded · 13/03/2015 10:05

Jenny. My dad lives on in me I promise you that. I refer to him when I am not sure what to do and he always answers me. I am not religious, I am not 'woo' but without doubt, part of him informs my life every day.

You will continue to be a guiding light for your son for ever. Honestly you will.

What you are facing is horrendous but if you can take one small comfort, please know that your leaving your family physically, has absolutely no bearing on them continuing to love you and include you in part of day to day life.

And just because you don't believe in miracles and an afterlife, it doesn't mean it isn't so. I have no idea and I don't think I believe, but you don't turn in your right to benefit from either just because you don't believe.

x

Ohfourfoxache · 15/03/2015 09:48

Thinking of you Jenny, hope you're having a lovely Mother's Day x

SunshineBossaNova · 15/03/2015 11:21

Thinking of you on Mother's Day Jenny. I hope you are having lots of cuddles with your DS. Flowers

cavkc · 15/03/2015 11:27

Happy Mother's Day jenny x thinking of you xx

QOD · 15/03/2015 15:25

Happy mothers day Jenny Flowers
i hope you get some joy and build more memories for ds x

ChillySundays · 15/03/2015 16:34

Thinking of you on Mothers Day

notnaice · 15/03/2015 17:14

Enjoy your Mothers Day Jenny. Make sure he gives you lots of Mothers day cuddles.

TidyDancer · 15/03/2015 18:14

Thinking of you today Jenny. I have followed this thread but not posted because I'm useless at this kind of thing. I just wanted to say I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts. x

londonrach · 15/03/2015 18:24

Also thinking of you xxx

Silentelf · 15/03/2015 19:10

A heartbreaking thread. You are amazing Jenny. Wishing you all the love and strength in the world x

TwentyTinyToes · 15/03/2015 19:15

Another one just checking in and sending you love X

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