Step son right wing views

[Oldguardianreader]

Name changed ... Nice ham... Lemon drizzle etc.

Step son back from uni. He's always been confident and opinionated. His views are really to my mind very anti Muslim. E.g. Islam hates everything this country holds dear, majority of paedophiles in organised rings are Muslim, why do 'they' live in this country if they don't want to be like us. It's like going down the pub with the local ukip party.

. I'm an unreconstructed old style guardian reader and find this all quite shocking. So far am biting my tongue, changing the subject and leaving the room to avoid engaging. Aibu to not challenge him in the interests of family harmony?

He's dh's precious first born who can do no wrong. And, when not on his favourite topic is quite charming company.

Don't ever discuss politics or religion at home.

This sort of thing can get so boring though. People with extreme or certainly very entrenched views just going on and on about them. Doesn't matter exactly what the view is (although your DSS's views do some a bit ill-informed) it's the repeating it on and on.

My dbs can be like this. Yes, we know you think all religion is crap, etc, etc. No need to tell us again when some members of the family have the opposite view. It is just boring to have the same discussion over and over.

It's good that we live in a democracy where everyone can have a different opinion if that's what they feel and not feel scared to express it. You have to consider it if the boot was on the other foot if he thought your political opinions were extreme and they upset him would you want him to challenge you over them? With close family and friends it's best to avoid getting into discussion about politics because it can become very heated.

No just heated, but also getting you nowhere. Unless you want an argument for an argument's sake.

I don't think you should keep quiet in the interests of harmony.

I would wait until he started up then tell him you disagree with him and take him on. However, I grew up in a household where everything got debated and there would frequently be a heated discussion over dinner about whatever was happening in news or politics, so I am quite comfortable in this.

My DP's youngest son who is also at uni does this. He is very ambitious with his arguments, sometimes sparsely populated with facts, and I have taken him on a few times leading to some lively dinners. My youngest DS is also a very good debater, but I will pull him up if he is making facts up to suit his arguments (sometimes, if he is way off piste I even print stuff off the internet for him to read). It is just part of them growing up and I see my role as a parent is to challenge them and stretch their thinking. It is one of the fun parts of parenting.

Home should be a safe space for them to develop their knowledge and views. Both my DS are considered by their teachers to be very well informed verses their peers and that is probably based on our regular discussions arguments re current affairs.

Try not to let it get to you.

Laugh. Then wipe your eyes and say how much fun it is talking to the young....