Step son right wing views

[Oldguardianreader]

Name changed ... Nice ham... Lemon drizzle etc.

Step son back from uni. He's always been confident and opinionated. His views are really to my mind very anti Muslim. E.g. Islam hates everything this country holds dear, majority of paedophiles in organised rings are Muslim, why do 'they' live in this country if they don't want to be like us. It's like going down the pub with the local ukip party.

. I'm an unreconstructed old style guardian reader and find this all quite shocking. So far am biting my tongue, changing the subject and leaving the room to avoid engaging. Aibu to not challenge him in the interests of family harmony?

He's dh's precious first born who can do no wrong. And, when not on his favourite topic is quite charming company.

[notquiteruralbliss]

If nothing else tell him to keep his more um 'controversial' views off social media and think how he will operate in a work environment where (if he is aiming high) a large number of his co-workers are likely to be non white non British.

MarianneSolong makes a really good point. In my industry (which attracts a lot of high achieving graduates from elite universities) even a sniff of racism, or a concern that a candidate would not be comfortable in a multicultural environment, would be enough to rule them out. And they will check Facebook, Twitter etc as part of the screening process.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

another here who wonders if he is doing it to wind up a guardian reader.

[simontowers2]

I dont think the term has evolved at all velour.

[hiddenhome]

Do you get to choose your race if you convert to Islam then?

[elephantspoo]

First off, IMO, everyone is entitled to an opinion, and to voice that opinion. It is a freedom we have fought for, and defend, and as long as we have the right to think freely in this country, we will be a far better place than where we could be if we started censoring people. So. I say well done him for having the temerity to explore his own opinion and be willing to voice them.

That said, I in no way concur with the opinions you have said he has. I would much rather live in a country of immigrants than a country of bone idle scrounges for example. So I'd be asking him for evidence, challenging his belief system, forcing him to explore his ideas and perceptions and see if he can back them up with fact. At the very least that will tell you whether he has the courage of his own conviction, or whether he is a sheep just repeating the dogma he has been fed by some pier group or other.

[elephantspoo]

One wonders why anyone would describe themselves as 'a guardian reader'. It appears as though some people choose to stereotype themselves, and I don't understand why anyone would do that?

[Namechangeyetagaintohide]

He must be winding you up. There is no reason an educated intelligent person would hold these views.

[Namechangeyetagaintohide]

There's a difference between having an opinion and racism. Racism and inciting racial hated with your views is a criminal offence.

[PhaedraIsMyName]

How many liberal Guardian readers criticise the Catholic Church?
Loads of them. I do for one.

I think you're missing the point of that comment . Criticising the Catholic Church is practically mandatory. The Guardian, which I still read, is far , far reticent about questioning Islam.

[hiddenhome]

Why don't they question Islam then?

All belief systems should be open to scrutiny and on an equal footing too.

[TheChandler]

I'm an unreconstructed old style guardian reader and find this all quite shocking. So far am biting my tongue, changing the subject and leaving the room to avoid engaging.

I don't know if you're aware of this, but its you who is coming across as intolerant. You know that other people are allowed different views, and if you hold yours that dear, why aren't you capable of debating them to uphold them? Whats the point in making such a song and dance about them if you can't do that?

My guess is that he's winding you up anyway, as you are so easily shocked. Theres nothing more dreary than a pseudo left wing pseudo academic champagne socialist Guardian reader who can't construct a valid argument. Generally they spend most of their time being self righteous and shocked than doing anything useful.

Glad to hear a number of posters find it invigorating to have their views challenged.

[Viviennemary]

How is Islamophobia racism. I have seen plenty of very anti Catholic views but that isn't counted as racism.

[hiddenhome]

My guess is that he's winding you up anyway, as you are so easily shocked. Theres nothing more dreary than a pseudo left wing pseudo academic champagne socialist Guardian reader who can't construct a valid argument. Generally they spend most of their time being self righteous and shocked than doing anything useful.

Yes, indeed!

[WitchesGlove]

Why don't you encourage him to learn more about Islam before making up his mind and spouting these views?

Tell him his opinion isn't really valid as he is unlikely to have read the QUaran or even visited a Muslim country.

Do you live in a very multicultural area? With many Muslims?

In london where I live, there are lots of different races/religions, and many well integrated, educated muslims. However, when I lived in a northern town, it was the complete opposite. Neither group were willing to integrate, lived completely separately and I think this did breed prejudice.

[LittleBearPad]

Debate the points with him then. Don't leave the room, engage with him.

[elephantspoo]

Why don't you encourage him to learn more about Islam

That is a damn good idea, but I would frame it as, 'If you want to argue against Islam, then the best thing you can to is learn at least as much about it as those you are fighting. So here is a copy of the Koran in English. Find out what they really believe and you'll be stronger for it, son.'

Send him on a journey and see if he really has the conviction to continue judging when he realises their beliefs/ideals are not so dissimilar to his own.

[formerbabe]

I find it ironic that the most self proclaimed liberal thinking types I have known in my life have actually been the least tolerant of anyone else's opinions and thoughts.

[HopeNope]

It's very upsetting to read that someone who is highly intelligent holds these views about Muslims.

Would he be interested in meeting Muslims? I would be more than happy to welcome him to my home. Or alternatively which university is he at? I'm sure there must be Muslims there he can meet informally.

[simontowers2]

Giving him a copy of the koran is a farce. The issue is not with the koran. The issue is that extremest types - thugs basically - are interpreting the koran to their own end in order to justify killing innocent folk.
The lad will learn that things are not black and white as he grows up. Or, who knows, maybe he's just a twat

[TheChandler]

His views are really to my mind very anti Muslim.It's like going down the pub with the local ukip party.

That's the OP's views, not the DSS.

E.g. Islam hates everything this country holds dear, majority of paedophiles in organised rings are Muslim, why do 'they' live in this country if they don't want to be like us.

That's not racist. A Muslim person from the UK or any other country could hold those views too. I think it is the right wing element which is annoying you OP. And nothing there is actually illegal.

He's dh's precious first born who can do no wrong.

Hmmn.

HopeNote I would very much doubt that there is a university in the UK without a Muslim presence. They may not come from your particular country though. I would also doubt that any student at a UK university or indeed any university has not "met a Muslim person informally".

[lljkk]

Depends what you hope to gain by challenging.
I have first hand experience -- as a child in a household of people who had raging political and religious debates. Recurring angry judgemental fierce debates. The combatants were always up for an argument. It was dreadful.

If you can have civilised discussion then fine, but if it's gonna be lotsa aggro, I'd go for keeping quiet.

[elephantspoo]

The issue is that extremest types - thugs basically - are interpreting the koran to their own end in order to justify killing innocent folk.

And yet we use mass media to justify looting their countries and killing their women and children in far greater numbers than they will ever be able to effect here. That is probably one of the most one sided pieces of repeated mainstream dogma I have read.

[ElkTheory]

He is entitled to hold any beliefs he likes. And you are equally entitled to tell him exactly why you find them so abhorrent. In my own home, I certainly wouldn't just bite my tongue. Depending on a variety of things, I would either engage him in discussion or I would declare a moratorium on the subject. It is (presumably) your house and he is a visitor, therefore you can set the ground rules.

[meandjulio]

'people on the left claim being offended as a way to shut down views they dont agree with'

How is the OP doing this? She's holding her tongue and leaving the room if she really can't stand it any more. What a dictator!

She's asking us whether she thinks it's OK to argue back at him as she's worried about busting up the family. I would say yes, but pick your battles and make sure you are actually listening, rather than just waiting for a moment to combat his views.