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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why some customers have to resort to personal insults?

127 replies

mummytowillow · 12/12/2014 19:40

I work in customer services for a well known retailer.

Today I spent an hour listening to a man verbally insult me. No swearing but just completely unnecessary personal insults about my intelligence, my personality, my experience, the fact I have a cough, the fact all I said was 'mmm' (he didn't let me speak).

All because he didn't like a policy that I didn't make and can't change.

He really was the most unpleasant person ever and ruined my afternoon!

I'm good at my job, fair, polite and firm, experienced but he really got to me today Hmm

The large glass of wine I'm drinking is helping!

Why do some people resort to such unpleasantness?

OP posts:
ThereIsAPartridgeInTheKitchen · 12/12/2014 19:43

Because some people are just cunts.

WestEast · 12/12/2014 19:44

As above.

EatDessertFirst · 12/12/2014 19:44

Because they think being vile will get them what they demand. Its a disgusting attitude that I experienced more from more 'vair naice' people than any other type. I feel your pain OP!

Flowers for you. And more Wine.

Georgethesecond · 12/12/2014 19:45

Yes.
You should have got rid of him well before an hour though.

KatieKatie1980 · 12/12/2014 19:45

Yup! Massive ones. Pour another glass :)

SomethingOnce · 12/12/2014 19:45

Massive sense of entitlement, I'd say.

I pity his nearest and dearest because I bet he treats everyone badly.

earplugsahoy · 12/12/2014 19:46

Yanbu..

Some people seem to enjoy shouting at others, and yea they are utter cunts

When i worked in customer service i would imagine the shouter being eaten by zombies mid scream

joanne1947 · 12/12/2014 19:46

I worked for about 20 years in as call centre, all inbound calls, by that I mean we never called people, they called is.
I was constantly insulted and shouted at. I then became a manage and dealt with complaints,
I still wonder how a caller can tell in 5 seconds talking to me that my parents were not married and that I am sexually active (I assume that is what them meant when I was called a fucking bastard many times). It seems to me that some members of the public enjoy verbally abusing people who are trying to help them.
Rant over for now and I feel better

Kiffykaffycoffee · 12/12/2014 19:47

I know some people will come on here and say, Well you chose to work in retail, what do you expect? But I'm not one of them - some customers are just horrible and more to the point, NOT ALWAYS RIGHT. As long as you were polite and firm, you've done everything you can. Try not to let it get to you Wine

tethersend · 12/12/2014 19:47

Cuntstomers.

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 12/12/2014 19:48

What everyone else said.

You are a far better person than me. I will, and have, walked away from verbal abuse from customers after a few minutes, never mind an hour! Complaints about the company and the service is one thing, and unfortunately part of what we get paid for, but personal insults^? No, never, they can jog on.

Lomega · 12/12/2014 19:52

I work in a place where people spend lots of money and so if anything goes wrong it's not uncommon to get an earful. If you're the first port of call people will lose their tempers and take it out on you even if it's not your fault, especially where money is concerned. I must admit in the past I've shouted at banks on the phone if they fuck something up - it doesn't help anything or anyone, and it makes me feel shittily guilty afterwards, but often people just lost their tempers. It's not ok but don't take it personally.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 12/12/2014 19:52

Any customer that resorts to personal insults gets asked to leave. If they don't then security is called.

Original poster
mummytowillow · 12/12/2014 19:53

Thing is I'm really experienced but everytime I tried to wrap it up he'd just shout to let him finish.

He literally went round in circles and was very difficult!

I think it's a lack of intelligence that makes him like he is, silly f*er! Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
mummytowillow · 12/12/2014 19:55

It was over the phone though, I know he will escalate to my manager next week when I don't give him a gift card!

OP posts:
KillmeNow · 12/12/2014 19:58

Im not in retail but I do deal with the public. I had one nasty little toe rag call wanting a particular letter that would help him get further funding.Its a very simple process and easily done in a few minutes.

Im always polite and calm as there is no mileage in mirroring behaviour.

However when the nasty little toe rag didnt give over insulting me,the company,my efficiency etc etc etc I had enough. He kept saying I HAD to do this because HE wanted it done. I was actually typing it at the time and at no time had refused to do it.

I completed the letter.Read it to him .Told him it would be in the post within a few days and then put it in the bin.

Petty? Yes
Satifying ?Definitely .

thefirstmrsrochester · 12/12/2014 20:37

Wine for MUMMY

People say things over the phone that they would never dare say to your face. It's their utterly pathetic little power trip as they know, as the paying customer, that there won't be any sanctions for them. In fact they get financially compensated for feeling distress (irrespective of the way they have made you feel).

I worked in insurance for 15 years and the filth I was called over the phone was horrendous.

Your caller/customer falls into the camp of sorry individuals who need to feel better than someone in order to feel better about themselves. What a sad git. He isn't worthy of pity really.

Hope you feel better soon xxx

Jill2015 · 12/12/2014 20:49

I hate to see / hear someone being nasty to a person in a shop, who can do nothing about whatever it is they are going on and on about. I was in my local garage one evening paying for petrol, and some grouch was giving out to the guy behind the counter about the price of goods in the shop. They are a huge multi - national company. I don't think the guy behind the counter set the bloody prices, somehow.
There are plenty of shops around where that grouchy creature could have gone, if the prices there didn't suit him. Angry
I have often said to people in call centres, ' I know this is not your fault'. I would not dream of giving out to them. They are doing their best, in a tough job.
So, OP, don't spare him any more of your precious time off and enjoy your Wine!

mineofuselessinformation · 12/12/2014 20:57

I arrived at a large city rail station at midnight a few weeks back.
It was mayhem to say the least as there had been lots of delays and cancelled trains...
I witnessed a woman call a rail worker over especially to tell him that he and his colleagues were 'a bunch of wankers'. He'd done absolutely nothing wrong.
I was amazed at how he took it on the chin and hoped and prayed that no-one started on me as feeling were clearly running high!

Jelliebabe2 · 12/12/2014 20:58

I worked in a debt collection department once for my sins, the computer sent out a load of letters and this man rang in ranting and raving... Threatened to be outside waiting for me with an axe. I terminated the call. He rang back spoke to my manager and she came to an arrangement with him! Shock. Fuckers, so threatening your staff is okay then!

MrsPiggie · 12/12/2014 20:59

Some people are simply twats. They also believe they can be as rude as they want on the phone even when they wouldn't do it in person.

ddubsgirl77 · 12/12/2014 21:07

Yup a colleague was called a cunt all because we couldnt make a double decker pizza with 6 toppings on it! Worse than a toddler tantrum!

raltheraffe · 12/12/2014 21:12

My mum used to work in tax fraud and a customer threatened to knife her. The next night he knifed her colleague as he got them mixed up. Colleague survived and he got arrested for it.

Tryharder · 12/12/2014 21:17

The problem is that we now gave a something for nothing culture. I know people who regularly and habitually complain in shops, hotels and restaurants purely to obtain a discount or freebies. They are really proud of themselves for doing so and boast about it.
I think the rudeness and shouting goes hand in hand with this. People are aggrieved, they feel ENTITLED to their refund or freebie whether or not it's justified or not.

I once dealt with complaints in a public sector office and once got a torrent of unjustified personal and foul mouthed abuse followed by the legend - " I pay your wages". I pointed out rather rudely perhaps that the caller was actually on the dole so therefore didn't pay my wages and put the phone down.

Firedemon · 12/12/2014 21:27

These people are clearly very unhappy with their lives in my opinion. I try to think of that when I come across a rude person. It helps a little bit!