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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wonder why some customers have to resort to personal insults?

127 replies

mummytowillow · 12/12/2014 19:40

I work in customer services for a well known retailer.

Today I spent an hour listening to a man verbally insult me. No swearing but just completely unnecessary personal insults about my intelligence, my personality, my experience, the fact I have a cough, the fact all I said was 'mmm' (he didn't let me speak).

All because he didn't like a policy that I didn't make and can't change.

He really was the most unpleasant person ever and ruined my afternoon!

I'm good at my job, fair, polite and firm, experienced but he really got to me today Hmm

The large glass of wine I'm drinking is helping!

Why do some people resort to such unpleasantness?

OP posts:
abigamarone · 12/12/2014 21:33

I have one particular customer who is often rude, I tell myself he can't help being a patronising cocky little oik...except he can as when he comes in with his wife he is obedient, polite and very clearly under the thumb (which makes me smile)

nohysteriahere · 12/12/2014 21:57

I have worked in retail for 20+ years and spent time working as a customer service trainer. I have had beer thrown at me for refusing to sell(no id), a hoover thrown at me (stopped an attempted theft) and had a customer try to strangle me (he thought it would get the manager quicker)!

I have also been threatened by a customer saying they were coming back later with a knife amongst other things.

I refuse to take abuse from customers and find the phrase "I am trying to help you, if you swear at me again I will refuse to serve you" very helpful.

I have had people ejected and banned. If they were on the phone I would probably have hung up!

SparkleZilla · 12/12/2014 22:20

I got 'call yourself an ambulance love, I'm on my way'

I always start with 'I know this is not your personal fault, but I'm pretty annoyed right now. ..'

foslady · 12/12/2014 23:04

In a similar vein I had someone ask for my full name on Christmas eve because I couldn't do the impossible for her so she was going to kill herself as I was ruining what little she had left of her life.

Didn't spoil my Christmas

(and she rang back on another matter in the New Year.....)

LilysSummerBreeze · 12/12/2014 23:21

I only get personal when the person on the end of the phone is lying.

For example whenni joined a well known intrnet provider. My first bill was for £108. I had a 35 quid package so I rang up.

She changdd her story multiple times. At one point she claimed I owednit from a previous bill so I asked her if she was actually capable of reading as if she were shed see it was my first bill so how could I owe from a previous bill.

Every time I proved her excuse wrong she chanhed her story. It was infuriating.

I also get annoyed when they claim xnisue cant be fixed when you know it can.

For example I had an extra service added so I get free calls to uk mobiles frm the house phone. They told me it would be effective from that day. Then sent me a bill for 90 and had cut off my service. They insisted it ciuldnt be turned on until I paid it.

I said I wojld pay it on the date i was told it was due (they gave me incorrect date) and expected the calls I was told would be free to be knocked off. Repeatedly told not possible. I threatened to leave and not oay at all and within minutes they could suddenly turn my services back on straightn away and knock off the charges id used under the impression the package I had been told was active as long as I made sure I paidnit on the date id previously been told it was due.

Wonc · 13/12/2014 02:51

When I worked in a supermarket I had a very rich local GP throw a pen at my face because we didn't take his particular card - clearly something I, as a student, had absolutely no control over.

My manager didn't back me up. Sad

elephantspoo · 13/12/2014 03:25

I don't know which company, and if don't know whether you're talking about telephone customer services of face to face customer services, nor do I know the specifics of the customers complaint.

But if a company chooses to treat its customers like cunts, and you choose to accept pay to represent that company and tell a customer that the company you represent is intentions to treat him like a cunt, you have a right to expect to be treated accordingly.

You are cannon fodder, there to take the flack. That is your job, and you accept rename ration for backing up and reinforcing the company you represent's moral position of issues. When people take issue with your moral position, you have to either have the spine and the skin to take it, or defer to someone more senior.

As I say, without knowing the specifics of the case, it's hard to say. But I have been in situations in the past where a company has been quite clearly wrong, and their way of trying to deal with it is to put someone in front of me with neither the intelligence not authority to resolve an issue. If that person in effect is only going to say, 'sorry madam, but I don't make the rules, you need to write to PO. Box XYZ', and 'no you can't speak to my manager, she'll just tell you what I've told you', then she is being deliberately obstructive and belligerent, and will be treated exactly as she deserves to be treated, even if it means making personal complaints in writing about her demeanour and refusal to deal with an issue or pass to management. At least then. I know that letter will sit on her file for her career with that company.

If a company is going to screw you over, and you can't get the staff in front of you to bow down to senior management, you can at least scar the careers of those in your way.

As I say, I have no idea if your talking about a guy complaining about a cup of coffee, or an insurance company refusing to abide by the contract, so I have no way of knowing. But you are where you are for one reason, and that is to take the shit thrown at the company. Provided that doesn't come with physical threats of violence which is against the law, you are fair game. It is what you are paid for, whether you care to like it or not. Grow a thicker skin, or find a company who cares more about its customers.

As peoples' spare money declines, it becomes more valuable to them, and companies become more and more desperate to keep ahold of it once they've got it, so expect more of the same, and worse as the economy contracts. Or pick a more ethical job.

Bulbasaur · 13/12/2014 03:25

Unfortunately people higher up have created this dilemma. Somewhere in a land detached from reality a person in a nice suit decided that they should appease unhappy customers as a token of good faith when they messed up. In this happy board room, they had an idealistic scenario in mind, they genuinely messed up and are dealing with a perfectly reasonable customer who graciously accepts their apology and decides to give their business another chance.

Meanwhile in reality, a token gift to appease an unhappy customer when they have messed up has made customers find ways you have messed up. It's unfortunate, but some stores use it as a shut up card and encourage the behavior. DH works in the food industry and has had customers insisting they have made their food wrong after they ate it and enjoyed their meal. He doesn't budge, but upper management doesn't see it worth the trouble and just gives the whiny cuntstomer a free gift card for the trouble. Meanwhile, DH is told he is allowed to refuse service to them in the future so they have to use the gift card another day if he is on shift if they try to come back.

So, it's a self created problem. People need to stop giving whiny customers token gifts for trivial problems. Upper management needs to drop this cruddy "The customer is always right" philosophy. To be fair, most places I've worked have told me I'm allowed to refuse service for any reason. If people need to be escorted out, I can always get management to make the call. But I can personally refuse to engage with anyone I so please. I wish more places operated like this.

fascicle · 13/12/2014 09:33

mummytowillow what is the company policy on dealing with people like your caller? Are there agreed strategies/phrases to use to let the caller know you won't be able to continue the conversation if they continue to be rude?

Hissy · 13/12/2014 09:43

my clients are known for being bottom feeders. they also are well practiced in charm and smarm when they need something.

sometimes they speak to me like shit.

under no circumstances, no matter what lofty level they are, do I accept their rudeness.

perhaps you'll call back when calmer?
i'm sorry but your tone is inappropriate, and i've said what I can and can't do, rudeness or attitude's not going to help in any way at all. i'm going to end the call now. goodbye.

no-one, NO-ONE is paid to be insulted. even if you work in a complaints dept., there's no excuse and rudeness should never, ever be tolerated.

Shakiraschristmasalbum · 13/12/2014 10:01

Elephantspoo

If you are going to choose to post your views on a public forum then you are fair game to receive responses to your views which clearly demonstrate what sort of person you are.

In my humble opinion, your views are that of an utter cunt with a superiority complex. It's people with attitudes like yours that make other people miserable. You must be very proud Hmm

avocadotoast · 13/12/2014 10:13

People are horrible. When I worked in retail, there was one older man who was kicking off about something so minor (I can't even remember what) and screaming in the face of the 17-year-old 5ft tall girl serving him. It was really shocking and none of us could stop to do anything because we were so busy. Every customer that came up after him that had witnessed it commented on it though, he was so out of order.

There's also a guy who lives near my parents who had a massive ott reaction in another shop I used to work in, and I still see him from time to time and just think what a cock he is.

No need for it at all. I understand that things can be frustrating but I would never act like that (even when I had a bill from £1800 from Npower - their error - I didn't act like that!).

Sparklingbrook · 13/12/2014 10:18

We were allowed to hang upon the customers if they swore at us. As in 'if you swear again I will put the phone down'.

If they were ranting I would say nothing then they would finish the rant, and I would still say nothing. So they would have to say 'Hello?' and then I would say 'Hello, what would you like me to do to rectify this' half the time they had no idea. Hmm

BearPear · 13/12/2014 10:24

I too work in a very challenging customer service environment, customers like elephantspoo are the bane of my life. Would you seriously speak with such bile to your nearest & dearest simply because they are not in a position to give you what you think you deserve?

ThereIsAPartridgeInTheKitchen · 13/12/2014 10:39

avocadotoast I once had a customer scream in my face because her panini was too flat. It wasn't even me who had served her or made it, she had just decided to shout at me because I happened to be walking past.

She was getting really aggressive too and was getting right in my face, hurling abuse at me and demanding a refund. Every time I tried to tell her I would get her a refund or try to walk away to get her one she would stop me and continue shouting at me.

Why couldn't she have just asked for a refund? Was all the shouting really necessary?

ThereIsAPartridgeInTheKitchen · 13/12/2014 10:41

Oh and elephantspoo, have a Biscuit.

avocadotoast · 13/12/2014 10:53

But... Isn't a panini supposed to be flat?! Some people are beyond ridiculous.

WaywardOn3 · 13/12/2014 10:54

Customers often think you're thick if you work in retail or any customer service type job. Obviously no one with a degree would ever work in those jobs :-/ some customers are just cunts and like nothing more than to take their own failings out on people they think can't react to it.

I walk off or ignore them and help someone else. If they have a problem with it they are told that when they are ready to have a conversation I'll try to help them with their problem. If they want to continue to shout/be rude then they know where the door is... I'm a manager but I expect my team to react in a similar manner or to call me as you do not treat anyone like that (and if you do then you're not wanted as our customer)

AngelsOnHigh · 13/12/2014 11:08

When I was working in banking my first customer of the day let rip at me.

I let her carry on for about a minute and then politely said "I'm so sorry, someone has obviously upset you this early in the morning but it wasn't me. Would you like to tell me about it".

I know this sounds simplistic but I have found over the years that the more they carry on, the quieter and more sympathetic I become and they gradually realise how stupid they sound.

Turns out this customer had a massive fight with her DH before she left home and was venting at the first person she had contact with.

Songofsixpence · 13/12/2014 11:12

I used to work in our village shop and once had a customer call me a cunt for refusing to sell him alcohol at 8:30am on a Sunday morning.

Our Sunday licensed hours were 10:30am to 10pm (if I remember correctly) and there was no way I was going to break the law, risking a fine and a criminal record.

He wouldn't have a bar of it. Stood screaming and shouting at me for 10 minutes.

The owner appeared, and I had thought he'd back me up, but no. Smarmy bastard apologised to the gobshite and served him his alcohol.

I was furious. I wouldn't let the owner use my log in on the till as I wasn't having his illegal sale recorded under my name so he threatened me with a disciplinary.

I did laugh a few weeks later when the owner failed a Trading Standards test purchase and had his license suspended for a few weeks

BeetlebumShesAGun · 13/12/2014 11:14

Elephantspoo you sound like the worst kind of customer I used to have to deal with. The amount of times I heard "i don't have time for this, I have to work" implying that their time is oh so much more important than yours, and as for "scarring the careers" of people who are just doing their job, that is nothing short of pathetic. Do you think that when people say their manager will say the same thing they really are being deliberately obstructive? Or do you think the many rules, regulations and processes prevent the worker from doing EXACTLY what you want, NOW? But no, those rules that apply to every other customer the company has should be bent just for you, because you're so important.

Remind me of the time I got called a cunt because someone's PPI refund was lower than their neighbours. I tried to explain the refund is just whatever PPI premiums they paid, plus interest, but no, they wanted the same amount their neighbour got. People are just idiots who think retail/customer service workers are there to give them whatever they want.

Icimoi · 13/12/2014 11:45

In a place I once worked, we had a prospective client who took an unusual degree of interest in the personal lives of the people she spoke to, asking whether they had children etc. There were several alarm bells and we refused to take her on, but she kept trying, by phoning different people, and ultimately became quite unpleasant. Someone eventually googled her and found newspaper reports about how she'd fallen out with a previous employer and formally reported the employer to social services for child abuse. We put a total block on her phone number after that.

Fallingovercliffs · 13/12/2014 12:04

Some people are just rude and self entitled and think the whole world revolves around them. He probably also tailgates other drivers, blares his horn if they don't start moving a nano second after the traffic light has turned green, berates people who aren't scanning their groceries 'fast enough' at the self service till, and generally makes life as unpleasant as possible for other people because no one must ever get in his way, hold him up or tell him he is in the wrong. EVER!

flippinada · 13/12/2014 12:35

willow YANBU, at all.

I,ve worked in customer service myself and I've never forgotten how foul some people can be. I think folk who behave like that are just inadequate, unpleasant individuals. Sorry you had to listen to that.

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 13/12/2014 13:56

Well elephantspoo I can only imagine that you are a massive turd. :o