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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why some customers have to resort to personal insults?

127 replies

mummytowillow · 12/12/2014 19:40

I work in customer services for a well known retailer.

Today I spent an hour listening to a man verbally insult me. No swearing but just completely unnecessary personal insults about my intelligence, my personality, my experience, the fact I have a cough, the fact all I said was 'mmm' (he didn't let me speak).

All because he didn't like a policy that I didn't make and can't change.

He really was the most unpleasant person ever and ruined my afternoon!

I'm good at my job, fair, polite and firm, experienced but he really got to me today Hmm

The large glass of wine I'm drinking is helping!

Why do some people resort to such unpleasantness?

OP posts:
TinkerbellaPan · 13/12/2014 14:29

I used to work in a job where people would call in and ask us to provide them with x, y, z.

Let me assure you, the work for people who shouted and screamed and told us that we HAD to provide it and it was urgent, took our full turnaround time. Posted on the evening of the last day Grin

If they were lovely to me and apologetic that it was so urgent and admitted it was their fault they didn't ask for it sooner, I would put more effort in to turning the work around in a couple of days, and emailing it rather than posting.

Luckily my manager always stuck up for us Smile

Best was the woman who ranted to me about how WE had misold her husband x and they were making a complaint to the ombudsman. I explained we don't sell what she was describing quite a few times, but it wasn't until a good 10 minutes later, after she had repeated the same thing about 50 times, she asked "well you are company x aren't you?!" and I said, "well, no!". She didn't stay on the line much longer!!

MrsFionaCharming · 13/12/2014 14:32

Elephantspoo is clearly living up to her name.

I work in customer service for a large gambling company. I know the regulations and laws inside out, as well as my companies t&cs.

If a customer has broken the T&Cs, we're not going to pay out. No amount of swearing and insulting me will change that. I don't care if it's £5 winnings or £500, if I pay our on an unverifiable account, the company could lose their license.

And the customer can write and complain if all they like, but it won't go on my file. Because all of our calls are recorded, so it's easy for my manager to listen and see it was the customer who was at fault and not me.

I tend to just switch of and let them rant. If it's a long one, I put my phone onto mute and have a chat with a colleague.

CruCru · 13/12/2014 14:40

Ha ha. At my old job, a colleague took a call from a pension scheme member who was furious that the law wouldn't allow him to do something with his benefits and that she wasn't going to be able to get the law changed to suit him better.

dostopdroningon · 13/12/2014 15:31

I used to work in customer service and we had to put up with a lot of people like this.

They were usually inarticulate, dim or too lazy to properly find out their legal position, so they had to resort to insults rather than reason or facts to support their argument. Occasionally, just bad-mannered and lacking empathy. You have my sympathy; it's not nice to be spoken to that way but remember, you are better than them Xmas Grin

DadDadDad · 13/12/2014 16:07

For those of you not aware of it, there's a website with loads of jaw dropping examples of stupid and rude customers. It's predominantly American, but there are some UK examples - sounds like some of you could contribute!
notalwaysright.com

Oh, and I don't work in customer services myself, and know that sometimes complaining and getting a bit cross can be the way to be taken seriously, but I think it's disgusting to be rude to the member of staff who is dealing with you - you can be cross and polite at the same time, and make the dispute with the company not a person.

DadDadDad · 13/12/2014 16:08

Oh, and I should warn you that the link I posted can be rather addictive...

RedButtonhole · 13/12/2014 16:22

Retail is thankless work.

We had a pretty obnoxious regular customer in my old work, he was already banned from another local business for his treatment of their staff. No-one had any time for him, except for me. I would chat to him, try to laugh with him, was helpful and pleasant to him invariably. One day he came in with a drink in him and reduced me to tears insulting my appearance/weight when I was on the floor alone. It's the first and only time I've ever let anyone get to me, I was just hurt because I was the one who gave him the most of my time yet he was vile to me anyway.

You're a steonger person than I am, in your shoes I'd have hung up/walked away ling before they got anywhere near an hour.

flippinada · 13/12/2014 16:27

Notalwaysright.com is a very cathartic read, even if some of the stories sound a bit made up.

I think what these dimwitted ranty types don't realise is that complaining politely and assertively gets you much further than being rude and aggressive.

And no-one, but no-one, deserves to be abused and insulted for just doing their job.

flippinada · 13/12/2014 16:30

What an arsehole Red.

Some people are just nasty. There's no need.

elephantspoo · 13/12/2014 21:18

As I said, we don't know the specifics of this case because the OP has net been specific, but the bottom line is, she is not entitled to be obstructive or belligerent and hide behind the mantra that it is company policy. She has a responsibility and a moral duty to refer to management whatever she is incapable of resolving to the customers satisfaction.

Now if the customer is clearly wrong, complaining about not liking the colour of his coffee, or the amount of mayo on his sandwich, then that is clearly different from a customer service rep' who is happy to take money to defend a company who tells customers with damaged and broken goods to go fuck themselves.

In the first instance the customer is being an AH, but in the second instance the staff member is being an AH. All I was point out was that if a person decides to take money specifically to be an AH to wards customers, they deserve what they get. I wasn't, and went to pains to point out, that I do not know the specifics of this case, as we have not been told, but it is not the case that everyone deserves to be treated with respect if you choose to be paid to be immoral and screw over customers on behalf of an organisation.

We all need money, but if a person phones my mobile every day telling me you want to help we with a PPI claim, then it is they who are cunts, and not I, and they know it and have chosen to act in that manner. We have insufficient information about this company or the circumstances of the case to know who is in the wrong here. But those who believe that everyone deserves respect regardless of their moral compass tend to walk through life as doormats, and the forum is full of threads of people being screwed over by this person or that company, seeking advice. As a customer you don't have to put up with this.

ThereIsAPartridgeInTheKitchen · 13/12/2014 21:31
Biscuit
SomethingAboutNothing · 13/12/2014 22:03

I had basically the exact same conversation with a woman a couple of weeks ago. Horrible, horrible woman she was, called me illiterate because I misread her town name, told me I needed to learn to speak properly (I am forever being called the posh one at work - which I'm not) because I said erm before going on to answer her question and was just generally vile. She was going to get me sacked as well.

People like that deserve bad things to happen to them.

foslady · 13/12/2014 22:06

Elephantspoo, PPI calls are sales calls. Customer Service is where the customer calls in to request a service. Not all those requests are made a) civilly and b) realistically.

flippinada · 13/12/2014 22:26

I don't like that biscuit Partridge. I'm writing into MN to complain about your attitude.

Actually, no. I'm going to make a spittle flecked, ranty, expletive ridden phone call to MN. That'll learn you to hand out sub-standard sugar based snacks.

Grin
ThereIsAPartridgeInTheKitchen · 13/12/2014 22:39
Grin
Original poster
mummytowillow · 13/12/2014 22:59

Elephantspoo if you had the intelligence to read my posts properly you would see I work on phones and for a retailer.

Your post is nasty and you putting it frankly are an arse!

I can just imagine you are just as jumped up as the dick I spoke to!

OP posts:
Original poster
mummytowillow · 13/12/2014 23:02

Thanks for the supportive messages folks, good to see others think Elephant is an arse to! Wink

OP posts:
Icimoi · 13/12/2014 23:08

Only elephantspoo could interpret the words "fair, polite and firm" as really meaning "obstructive and belligerent".

elephantspoo · 13/12/2014 23:09

So what was the guys issue, and why could you not resolve it? This is an anonymous thread. You have not mentioned any retailer. Let us suppose we are talking about a laptop here (metaphorically). Was he complaining that it did not work? Was he complaining that it had broken? Was he complaining that it didn't look the way it looked on the box? Did he just want his money back because he had second thoughts? Let's at least know whether the company policy is reasonable or unreasonable as a starting point.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 13/12/2014 23:10

I had a customer on the phone make me cry once (aeons ago). He was known through the company, and I was pretty resilient and experienced. He was a reverend as well, and you expect them to be nice, really. I can still remember his name. He knew the Head of Dept by name, and ended the call by spitting "get xxxxx to call me back". I've honestly never spoken to anyone so utterly horrible in my life.

It's horrible, OP.

elephantspoo · 13/12/2014 23:16

Icimoi - There is no explanation yet as to what the issue was or why the customer service issue escalated to conflict. Clearly company policy was, 'don't give a refund' which resolves 99% of all customer issues with products. The question is what was the issue with the product and why does the company take the stance it does? And does the OP believe the company is right? Or does she believe the company is wrong but stands against the customer because that is what she is paid to do? Clearly there is a difference, but she hasn't said?

flippinada · 13/12/2014 23:21

Don't feed it, folks.

Willow try not to take it to heart. Some folks just get a kick out of being unpleasant and on this occasion you were unlucky enough to be in the firing line.

ThereIsAPartridgeInTheKitchen · 13/12/2014 23:22

Quit acting like a twat, elephant.

SomethingAboutNothing · 13/12/2014 23:23

Well I'm my case ElephantPoo the customer had not passed security and I was therefore not able to discuss the account with her. Does that mean I deserved a 25 minute abuse filled rant?

scousadelic · 13/12/2014 23:28

Customers who are rude to staff are bullies, plain and simple. Those who do this from the other end of a phone are also cowards no matter how much elephantspoo tries to justify it.

I worked for a large high street retailer and I blame the companies for a lot of this. We, in store, would try to resolve issues, often in the face of abuse and aggression, but customers learned that they could ring up customer service when they didn't get their own way. Customer services would never back us up but would apologise and make a goodwill gesture no matter how unreasonable the customer's demands. Now that they are trying to stop abuse of this by these entitled, over-indulged idiots the customer service reps are getting the aggro we used to get, possibly worse as the idiots are braver over the phone.
I blame the companies and think it is incumbent upon them to put systems in place to deal with these customers