Rubbish Christmas presentd for people you hate...

[WantonMother]

Someone else did a thread looking for suggestions for the worst perfume she could buy for her poisonous MIL for Xmas. I'm looking for gift ideas for a lazy, horrible, no good brother in law. Something random and cheap looking if possible with a budget of a fiver (I will stretch to more if it is particularly cringey). And you have any people you want to passive aggressively piss off over the Chirstmas period give us a brief and we'll help each other out... Go!

[MrsCakesPrecognition]

A gift voucher which isn't quite enough to cover the cost of the gift. So if your local cinema costs at least £6.95 for an adult, get him a voucher for a fiver.

[FelineLou]

You can get "Where's Wally" Father Christmas boxers in one supermarket begins with T.

[RhiWrites]

Okay, this is something I bought someone I like but it would do as a duff gift too.

Wooden tea bags: goo.gl/lRVoHS

Completely pointless and good for a face.

[IWillOnlyEatBeans]

The worst gift I was ever given was a multi pack of drumstick lollies.

[HangingInAGruffaloStance]

I bought a relative a log impregnanted with mushroom spores, to grow your own shiitake mushrooms. DP cites this as the ultimate crap present, though it wasn't meant as such.

A set of really crap books from a remainder shops might also work.

[SimoneAdriaan]

My OH's stepdad's bro once received an 'adopt a giraffe' kit for christmas from his son. OH's stepdad thought it was the shittest gift ever, so obviously, he got an 'adopt a penguin' for christmas the following year, and we let him go most of the day thinking this was his only presents (We're fond of stepdad, and had also got him a nice bottle of whiskey).

for his 50th birthday the same year, we got him a proper gift, but first presented him with tickets to go and visit the penguin in scarborough with all of our close family, being a good sport he went along with it, pretending he was ecstatic about meeting the penguin.

TL;DR - Adopt an animal gifts are always disappointing, bonus points if it's an animal you know he's not really a fan of, feels strongly about, or is particularly crap (like a sloth, here's an adopt a sloth cause it's lazy, and grows mould like you type thing)

[madmother1]

Ah, brings back memories, when my dearly departed Mother would buy us all naff presents. These were luckily in addition to our "main" much wanted presents I may add. The best ones included, a silver plated, toothpick holder, a plastic squirrel, a cat shaped tea pot - to name but a few. Now that she has been gone for a few years, all the family have to buy a "tacky" present. The funnier the better and no more than a £1. We save these presents until last in her honour!! Happy Christmas x

[madmother1]

*The silver plated toothpick holder was in the shape of a duck!

[hoppingmad]

I wouldn't mind some of the presents listed, especially the adopt an animal style ones. Far preferable to yet another scarf and gloves set in scratchy pink wool.

I once get evil exmil a feng shui set for Christmas - my god she hated it, almost made up for her total narcissism over the years

[LemonBreeland]

A friend of mine got an oven gloves set from Ikea from her SIL one year. Super cheap being from Ikea too. She gave it back toher the next year.

[KitKat1985]

OP does your BIL support a football team or similar at all? If so why not get him a very visible piece of football memorabilia (e.g, a bumper sticker for his car) for a RIVAL team. Appear ignorant of this fact. Whenever you see him ask him where this piece of memorabilia is. E.G, 'Oh why is that bumper sticker I got you for Christmas not on your car'?

[Flingmoo]

How about this?

[ItIsntJustAPhase]

If he has children, Moon Sand, with explicit instructions to enjoy this with daddy.

I've always though people who gave my children very messy presents must secretly hate me.

[zipzap]

If you want a more literally crap present, Oxfam used to sell notebooks and memo blocks made out of elephant poo paper...

Might be worth having a look if you're passing to see if they still do them - and you'd have the satisfaction of knowing that you were helping oxfam too when buying your present.

If you want it to be a bit more seasonal there are also companies out there that make paper out of reindeer poo. In fact there seems to be a wide variety of poo papers that have been made using the poo from lots of different animals if he has a favourite animal (or a particularly loathed one maybe?)

[Ormally]

Just been wiping tears of laughter over the lasagne portrait and similar things on the same website.

The Range is quite good value (literally and metaphorically) for contenders for our worst Secret Santa presents - the ornament section. We once bought a not quite African bongo drum as the most random gift.

[divingoffthebalcony]

I really like my SIL but I think she hates me because I only get shitty supermarket gifts from her. The aforementioned Bayliss & Harding hand wash... or better still, a set comprised of a custard jug, tea towel and packet of instant custard.

Nothing says "I have put precisely zero thought into this" like a supermarket gift set!

[dreamingofwineandcheese]

I got a set of two padded pink coat hangers for Christmas once, one said Pussy the other one said Cat! I was pretty sure the person who gave them to me didn't like me, that definitely confirmed it

[CaroleService]

www.amazon.co.uk/Rudolph-Reindeer-Christmas-Underwear-Fancy/dp/B00PYJ5G42/ref=sr_1_4?s=clothing&ie=UTF8&qid=1418405698&sr=1-4&keywords=mankini&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

'Nuff said

[MonstrousRatbag]

Pass the eye bleach please Carole.

[Wineandrosesagain]

When I got engaged (the first time, at the foolish age of 21), we had a party. People brought gifts. We opened them at the party (mistake) and stared in amazement at the lamp made from sea shells with many small rubber lobsters and crabs attached. Never did agree which family bought it (someone from his side) and no idea where it is now (nor where ex-fiancé is) Great present for someone you dislike.

[Selinasupreme]

My auntie got my dad a radio toilet roll holder so he could listen to the radio on the toilet. Wtf? Find him one of them and buy it because they are terrible

[deste]

Eiliscitron that is so funny. That and the egg separater.

[ineedsomeinspiration]

www.amazon.co.uk/Novelty-Ceramic-Dick-Mug-Thumbs/dp/B00L5FVQ4S?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21
Too obvious?

[Rachel709]

Just don't buy him anything?

[yellowdinosauragain]

Loving some of these and have bought a good few of the cheap ridiculous suggestions for dh stocking!

I'd personally go for something he'll hate and your sister would like though. Then she benefits at least...