Rubbish Christmas presentd for people you hate...

[WantonMother]

Someone else did a thread looking for suggestions for the worst perfume she could buy for her poisonous MIL for Xmas. I'm looking for gift ideas for a lazy, horrible, no good brother in law. Something random and cheap looking if possible with a budget of a fiver (I will stretch to more if it is particularly cringey). And you have any people you want to passive aggressively piss off over the Chirstmas period give us a brief and we'll help each other out... Go!

[Chandon]

www.argos.co.uk/m/static/Product/partNumber/2444451/searchTerm/Dipping.htm

[Carrierpenguin]

I love this thread. Especially the comments about 'this is not what the baby jesus would have wanted'

[MumsKnitter]

Some passive/aggressive presents I have given children whose parents I don't like have included:

A set of days of the week pants for a very headstrong seven year old- these were guaranteed to lead to arguments when the only clean pair of pants say 'Tuesday' and it was actually Thursday.

A Barbie cup cake kit. I knew the child who adored pink would be thrilled, and that the mum was going to be hassled into actually spending a few minutes doing something with her daughter that the girl would love.

I recently got given a set of paints which say 'May stain clothing' for my three year old, which is odd as I thought we got along well.

Those gloopy alien hatching eggs are also excellent for the particularly houseproud.

[raltheraffe]

www.shitexpress.com/

Send him a shit in a box!

[zipzap]

A bag of marbles to replace his own that he's losing?

have you got any local christmas fayres/fairs/bashes/fetes/etc that you could go to and get something dreadful from?

I've done 3 in the last 4 days and there have been some corkers of donations. If you founds something not from the tombola you could replicate the effect of sellotape and a ripped off raffle ticket to make him think that you have just passed on whatever dodginess you 'won'.

Or how about a new dad's guide to looking after babies /haynes manual for babies/ etc if he doesn't do much to help your sis look after the dc I think you mentioned earlier...

or maybe this snot nosed shower gel dispenser or a fart extinguisher and farter medal...

[springlamb]

Had anyone mentioned Magic Sand yet?

The gift that keeps on giving...

So pleased my children are older now.

[Imscarlet]

I love this thread too. Can't wait for to OP to report back with a decision.

[babybat]

The cheapest, tackiest aftershave gift set you can find in Superdrug. Something like this should do the trick.

[LineRunner]

Brut is the smell of my young teenage years. I could lie in bed reminiscing with that.

[ThroughTheLongNight]

WantonMother What on earth are blow job kits? Don't you just need a mouth and a cock?

[BramwellBrown]

The baby Jesus doesn't approve of passive aggressive gifts, however I'm pretty sure Jesus does approve of you buying kids all sorts of toys that just happen to be horrendously loud and annoying... if his twins are very young I recommend a recorder and a cheap kids drum then encourage them to form a band and perform for Dad.

[EatGlitteryShitDezzaClause]

Tesco is selling a candle that smells like Kellogg's cereal.

Think it was cornflakes

[spamanderson]

My 'nan' (DMs birth mother) bought me a book about vinegar... I think it was something along the lines of '1001 uses for vinegar'. Thought I'd mention that as the cider vinegar book as been mentioned numerous times. My dad was once given a gold toothbrush. As a child I once got an oasis rabbit (you know that oasis stuff florists use? Yeah that). My nanna used to buy the most awful gifts that were guaranteed to be shoddily wrapped and stuck with electrical tape (or masking tape if you were lucky!) cousins and their families always got cash, I wonder who were the favourites however, these were always a great source of entertainment for us, we'd go to the pub on Christmas eve, parents would get a bit tipsy and we'd come home and open those gifts and have a good laugh :)

My vote goes for 1001 uses for vinegar, wrapped shoddily and taped up with a bit of masking tape as obviously you wrapped his last and ran out of sellotape ;)

[Gawjushun]

As I mentioned in the perfume thread, the pound shop has nasal hair trimmers. I am so tempted to give them out to my shitty in-laws.

Other suggestions:

Cat mug
Cheapest, shittest scented candle you can find
Cliff Richard calendar
One of those crap hot chocolate/latte mugs with the long spoon
Heeeelarious books i.e. The Little Book Of __
Ceramic oil burner
Cheapo versions of those diffuser stick thingies
Turkey baster

[Gawjushun]

Ooh, you could also go the shitty homemade gift route. People HAVE to be appreciative if you made it. I suggest a random jar you've filled with spices or scrabble pieces glued to a picture frame.

[Cornettoninja]

Baby Jesus may know what's in your heart and disapprove - but no one else does

Keep a straight face whatever you decide.

[QuickSilverFairy]

My exMIL used to wrap up all the Free with Purchase cosmetics she received over the year and give me those for my birthday. Estée Lauder time release wrinkle cream and Sienna Sunrise lipstick were greatly appreciated when I was 25.

[cogitosum]

not so much passive aggressive

www.firebox.com/product/6086/UNT-Mug?aff=1108&gclid=COiYrI_Dt8ICFaXnwgodj1UAQg

[Peaceloveandbiscuits]

My wicked stepmother gave me a used (dirty) cheese board last year, without the cheese. I thought that was pretty damn good in terms of, "I hate you and I want you to know it" gifts.

[iwanttogotothechaletschool]

How about this?

[OhCuntmasTree]

sponsor a pigeon

[OhCuntmasTree]

Or even better

his portrait painted on a lasagna sheet

[PigletJohn]

Penis developer

Intimate deodorant

[QuickSilverFairy]

Indeed! Nothing says I despise you and you reek, like a 2 pack of FemFresh!

[Topseyt]

A toilet roll stacker. A packet of nappies for the many babies he has been responsible for.

A kitchen fire blanket and fire extinguisher.

A Barbie doll.