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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be FUMING about the state of my sons shoes

72 replies

Snaveanator · 07/12/2014 19:28

A few weeks ago my DP took my DS (his DSS) out with him. DS is 5. They came back with a new pair of Nike trainers each, DS's cost £45.

My son went off to his dads for the weekend so I packed his bag and sent him off wearing his trainers. When they returned today, I was unpacking the bag and found the trainers stuffed in a carrier bag absolutely CAKED in mud.

AIBU to be mad about this? They are literly a 5 minute drive down the road and if he intended to take him somewhere muddy, surely he could have text me for some wellies, I could have dropped them over or left them out mine for him to collect. Failing that he could have popped into a charity shop to buy some cheap shoes or wellies for him? He could have at least cleaned them!

My DP works really hard and likes to spoil us, I know it's a lot of money to spend on 1 pair of trainers but surely the ex could have treated these with a bit more respect?

OP posts:
Coconutty · 07/12/2014 19:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 07/12/2014 19:31

Simple solution you cease to provide any clothing or footwear for contact give ex advance notice so he knows to bring stuff

DaisyFlowerChain · 07/12/2014 19:31

They are children and clothes are meant for wearing. Pop them in the washer, no harm done.

Pippidoeswhatshewants · 07/12/2014 19:31

YABU. He's 5, muddy shoes are to be expected. A bit annoying that you have to scrub the shoes, remind your DS' dad that that is part of his responsibility when he has DS.

usualsuspectsparkly3 · 07/12/2014 19:32

Kids get muddy shoes. That's life.

He could have cleaned them though.

CMOTDibbler · 07/12/2014 19:32

They are shoes for a 5 year old, therefore they get muddy. Where I am today, you could go to the not normally muddy park and get caked.

TheFairyCaravan · 07/12/2014 19:33

Really?Hmm

YABU they are shoes it is mud! It will wash off!

Gileswithachainsaw · 07/12/2014 19:33

yabu to spend 45 quid on trainers for a kid too young to. be able to take some.care of his new shoes and that Won't last long due to being grown out of.
Yanbu to expect the adult in charge to.use their brain and dress appropriately for the activity planned. A phone call wouldn't have killed him.

iwantgin · 07/12/2014 19:33

Why couldn't your DS' dad have cleaned off the mud before packing them up again to send home?

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 07/12/2014 19:33

YABU. Scrape off the thick of it and bung them in the wash. He is a kids. Kids get messy. Trainers arent exactly "party shoes for best".

LaurieFairyCake · 07/12/2014 19:33

I think you're crackers

Far more important that he went out and played outside.

I got muddy in my front garden today and had to pop mine in the wash - trainers wash up fine

ithoughtofitfirst · 07/12/2014 19:34

Washing machine! Xmas Grin

simbacatlivesagain · 07/12/2014 19:34

So your ex bought the shoes? Or someone else?

I am confused.

They are trainers- they are meant to get dirty. What did you expect?

FrauHelgaMissMarpleandaChuckle · 07/12/2014 19:34

Unless you warned your ex they were to be kept pristine, then YABU.

They're trainers, for kicking about in - wash them and they'll be grand.

And expensive trainers for a 5 year old is nuts. They get wrecked.

Fanfeckintastic · 07/12/2014 19:34

I see your point I suppose but he's 5, he's supposed to get muddy and that should be a huge factor when buying him clothes/shoes.

usualsuspectsparkly3 · 07/12/2014 19:34

Was he not wearing any shoes when your ex brought him home?

Not worth fuming about.

RJnomore · 07/12/2014 19:34

He's 5, 5yo shouldn't have shoes that are too "good" to get muddy IMO.

Tinks42 · 07/12/2014 19:37

Mud no, the dirtier the kids clothes are the more fun theyve had (he didnt plonk him in front of the TV did he).

Now, if it was dog shit then yes Grin

december12 · 07/12/2014 19:38

IMO no 5yo should have any clothes that are more important than the fun and learning he's having. An afternoon paying in the woods (or wherever) with his father is way more important than any pair of shoes AFAIC.

Put them through the washing machine. Cold wash, no detergent. They'll be fine.

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 07/12/2014 19:41

Sorry but trainers are meant for wearing out doors and having fun in. It shows he had a good weekend.

In future send him in cheap old trainers if you don't want the mud.

KateMosley · 07/12/2014 19:42

Kids trainers and respect in the same sentence Hmm Are you Ed Milliband?

Tinks42 · 07/12/2014 19:46

Me thinks you have an issue with your ex and it's not about the trainers at all.

KatieKaye · 07/12/2014 19:48

Your DS was playing outside so obviously his shoes got muddy. If you were that bothered about them staying pristine you shouldn't have sent him out in them. Much better that he was out in the fresh air even if he did get his shoes dirty. And his dad even had the sense to put them in a plastic bag so the rest of his stuff didn't get dirty too.

YABU.

next time, send him away wearing his wellies rather than expecting ExH to come and get them.

LynetteScavo · 07/12/2014 19:54

It's muddy at this time of year... If you didn't want his trainers to get muddy you should have sent wellies.

Original poster
Snaveanator · 07/12/2014 19:54

I don't expect them to be pristine, my point is that he's 5 minutes away, he could have asked for willies, or provided some, or washed the shoes.

Of course I want him to have fun but I just think he could have asked for some other shoes.

OP posts: