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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want DC to 'cheer up' someone with the Norovirus

68 replies

whatadrain · 06/12/2014 08:20

DH has decided in his infinite wisdom to take our DC to visit someone with sickness and diarrhoea (sp?) to cheer them up as they have had a hard time lately. They really have and I absolutely want to support them in any way that we can. However...

They have been in hospital on a drip to stop the sickness and treat dehydration and they are still sick.

Apparently I am being completely unreasonable in not wanting to have to spend all of next week looking after vomiting children.

AIBU?

OP posts:
RunningOutOfIdeas · 06/12/2014 08:22

YANBU If DH did this I would leave him in no doubt about who would be staying at home looking after any sick children.

Original poster
whatadrain · 06/12/2014 08:24

That's basically what I told him would happen but I think we both know who would end up taking time off work and catching it too

I know he's trying to be nice and help this person but it's just insane.

OP posts:
cherubimandseraphim · 06/12/2014 08:24

YANBU! There's a reason hospitals now ban under-13s visiting during Noro season! Run like the wind!

It is really unfair on your children to be exposed to noro and if they get it you and your DH almost certainly will. It is unbelievably infectious and NASTY - we all got it last year and even when it was over wiped us out for a long time. Stupid, stupid to risk getting it and doubly stupid to expose little kids. NHS advice is that it's infectious for up to 72 hours after vomiting FINISHES so avoid, avoid, avoid.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 06/12/2014 08:26

He's completely ignorant about how contagious Noro is?.

You have to insist this visit isn't going to happen if this person is still carrying the bug.

Original poster
whatadrain · 06/12/2014 08:27

Well this person has discharged themselves as they didn't want to stay in overnight, despite still being really sick.

It was thought that the symptoms were being caused by something else but the blood tests proved otherwise. DH reckons it won't be contagious I am SO not convinced.

OP posts:
indigo18 · 06/12/2014 08:27

Is he really that thick? YADNBU.

Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses · 06/12/2014 08:28

Words fail me. YANBU

Original poster
whatadrain · 06/12/2014 08:28

Oh and to make it worse (sorry to drip feed) one of the DC has an ear infection already and one has an impaired immune system so will absolutely catch whatever it is. Confused

OP posts:
Orangeisthenewbanana · 06/12/2014 08:29

DO NOT LET HIM. It spreads like wildfire and wards are closed every winter at work because of it.

gamerchick · 06/12/2014 08:31

Man that's one thing guaranteed I would lose my toodle over. What on earth was he thinking? Confused

Original poster
whatadrain · 06/12/2014 08:31

He's got the right hump over it. He still thinks it's not the Norovirus because 'that's not why they were in hospital.'

I feel a row coming on Confused

OP posts:
cherubimandseraphim · 06/12/2014 08:32

Y y to how contagious it is - apparently as little as 10 virus particles is enough to catch noro (and people with it shed millions) - it gets all over surfaces, can be aerosolised in the air if someone has been sick/coughs - it's basically got the same infection vectors as Ebola and if you're sharing your home with someone who has it you'd probably need the same level of biohazard protection not to get it. (Sorry that sounds tasteless as it's only a sickness bug really, but it basically propagates in pretty much the same way.) You'd be downright silly to put yourself in the way of getting it when you didn't have to.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 06/12/2014 08:32

With your further information I would physically prevent him from taking the children anywhere near this person.

Is he stark bollock mad?,

Tykeisagirl · 06/12/2014 08:33

Ok, hopefully not to sound too dramatic, but my grandmother contracted noro a few weeks ago, and in her elderly and frail state she died from it. Noro isn't just a bit of a dodgy tummy, it's the flu of the D&V world is to be avoided at all costs. The nursing home where my grandmother lived banned all unessential visits due to noro.

GoodKingQuintless · 06/12/2014 08:34

I feel so sorry for you, having such a cruel, stupid and pigheaded husband.

Why does he even think the sick person wants your children around? Are they his parents?

unclerory · 06/12/2014 08:35

If this person (a PIL perhaps?) is still sick then I'm sure the last thing they want is a visit from two children who however lovely they might be and however much this person loves them are still children who create noise. I'd tell your DH to go himself and to make sure he washes his hands well before leaving the house and then when this person feels a bit better next week he can take the kids when the person will be less exhausted after their bug. You'll have to sell it as being too much for the person who is sick since your DH is too thick not appreciating the contagion issue.

naty1 · 06/12/2014 08:37

Now the person is home he can skype them.
Not sure very sick person would want to see kids

Original poster
whatadrain · 06/12/2014 08:37

Tyke I'm so sorry for your loss. ??

He's only ever this bloody stupid when it comes to his family members. The foot is down. There is no fucking way!

OP posts:
Idontseeanysontarans · 06/12/2014 08:38

Can you get in touch with the person and get them to tell him they do not want visitors as they're not feeling up to it?
YANBU. What if anything is he thinking? It's a bad idea for everyone concerned!

AlpacaYourThings · 06/12/2014 08:38

Fuck it, I'd have the argument. There is no way I would risk my family's health just because he doesn't understand the basics of controlling an infection.

Original poster
whatadrain · 06/12/2014 08:39

It's MIL and she desperately wants to see them and FIL is being quite insistent. DH will never say no to FIL.

Never mind, I have balls- I can say no!

OP posts:
Hatespiders · 06/12/2014 08:39

Even if he gives in, leaves your DC at home and goes to visit this person alone, he could catch noro and bring it back to the household. Utterly insane.
My friend caught noro and projectile vomited for England. She was very very ill. YANBU!!!

Ragglefrock · 06/12/2014 08:40

Yanbu for all the reasons already stated PLUS you're children are ill with ear infections? I doubt the patient will want to add that to their list of ailments. Children are walking germ factories which is why they get the flu spray to stop infecting older more frail people.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 06/12/2014 08:44

Your PiL's are being incredibly stupid and selfish, tell them yourself, if need be , that it would be irresponsible even for their Son to visit and get infected.

Why are some people so fucking dim?

gamerchick · 06/12/2014 08:51

Yeah have the row and physically stop him if you have to.

Although on hearing it's his parentals and most of us have this little twinge inside at wanting to please them if you don't let him and he goes anyway by himself he's likely to bring it home and infect you all anyway

Good luck OP .