Air travel stories nice or nasty (lighthearted)

[HappyAgainOneDay]

I was on a long haul flight and a stewardess flight attendant was serving redwine out of a bottle. Someone jogged her arm and wine was spilt onto my light blue, cotton blouse. A wipe didn't help so the conscientious stewardess took the blouse away to rinse it (I was wearing a tee shirt underneath) but it made no difference. To keep me warm overnight, I was presented with a First Class cabin sleepsuit pair of pyjamas. I was so pleased.

PS the red wine stain did come out of my light blue blouse

best was a small plane from Seattle to San Jose. Very VERY camp crew, and blew train whistle upon take off! (and landing)
also from Perth to Melbourne - grotty night flight but was cheered up by getting all the kids right from toddler to teen, to model the airline's clothing range and do a fashion parade down the aisle
oh also....when my brother and I forgot our tickets and couldn't board our plane from San Francisco to Heathrow. Sounds horrendous and it was because we had to return to where we were staying for the tickets, and get a plane 24 hours later... however, when we did, they put us in business class! (as no room in cattle.. even though it was our fault, we got upgrade) we were the only ones in B class and got treated like royalty. Stewardess kept plying my brother with booze, she took a fancy to him. When we disembarked I told her he was only 19 and therefore illegal to drink on an american flight! her face was a picture and she begged me not to tell anyone!

I was 21 so legal...he was 19.... we got rat arsed the whole way back on the free booze.... then the next day I had to start a brand new job with jet lag and hangover! but hey...you can when you're 21

mid 90s, travelling with my dad on Aer Lingus long haul to Newark. They bumped us up to first class, and we had such a good time. Individual tvs were a novelty back then and I had never seen them before on a plane. We watched films and drank champagne and had a father/daughter bonding (getting pissed, basically), had a laugh with the flight attendants and generally enjoyed 6 hours on an airplane as much as possible. I seem to remember the flight back in cattle class being not quite so much fun.....

Worst was a New Years Eve long haul from London to LAX on (evil) American Airlines. Just horrible. Its a 12 hour flight, and I had a three hour lay over in LAX, and another 6 hour flight to board from then. The plane was really crowded, very dirty, understocked and staffed by incredibly rude staff. They make you pay for everything, but will not take cash. But neither would they accept my British debit card. Or my British credit card. Or my Irish credit card. Or anything in my wallet. Eventually, the man sitting next to me took pity on my and bought me something (with his AMERICAN CC, how UNREASONABLE of me not to have one!). Clearing customs in LAX took nearly 2 hours in a cattle crush hall as they didn't have enough staff on. And then I got strip searched because the cocoa butter moisturizer I had put on to help my skin survive 18 hours in the air set off their drug detection systems! YUCK.

Love this thread!

My best story is when I was on a night flight from the US back to London in 1997. A friend was cabin crew on the plane. He came over to where I was sitting and whispered quietly for me to come up to the cockpit.

I followed and there in the cockpit was the pilot and assorted others who were all very excited.

The pilot was going: 'Wow people. Look carefully at that. You'll probably never never see another sight like that as long as you live!"

I looked to where he was pointing and there out of the window to one side of us was a really close view of the Halle Bop comet surrounded by the Northern Lights.

And of course because we were in the cockpit we got an absolutely amazing view of the spectacle. I'll never forget it

A few years ago we went to the north of Sweden flying out from Heathrow. Obviously it being in the artic circle it can get 'a bit cold'. The regular sized plane landed on snow and ice which was pretty exciting. No tarmac in sight. We got off the plane onto the runway and everyone just milled around watching the sun set before slowly walking to the 'terminal' building at our leisure. I say terminal building... it was more like a two room cabin with a conveyer belt.

Anyway whilst we were there we were worried as the travel reps warned us all that it was looking like we were going to be stranded there due to the snow and ice on the runway making it too dangerous...

...to land at Heathrow.

We did get back ok and on time. There was not a snowflake in sight. We were not terribly impressed at the hysterics about the weather.

I'm strangely in awe of this thread. I'm a very nervous flyer and the phrase 'best flight' is a bit of a misnomer.

To me any turbulence free flight is a winner.

Some of these stories are terrifying. I've been hit by turbulence but not as bad as some oh here. Last year on a short flight from Rome to london we hit turbulence on the descent. I was bloody terrified and don't want to fly again ??

My DH proposed to me in New York. Our plane home was unfit to fly and we were bumped up to Concorde. Magical two days.

Last year a flight I was on aborted take off just at the last minute. Lots of people shouting and upset. I was flying with DD(3) - she started to panic so I swallowed my own fear and started saying 'oh that silly billy pilot, he must have braked instead of taking off. Well we are just going to park now for a while and he will relax and then we'll try again' and then DD and I had had a long chat about how sometimes people make mistakes etc.

We eventually did take off and when we landed a man sitting in front of me turned around and told me I had a lovely soothing voice and that listening to me chatting to DD about the 'silly billy pilot' had calmed him down as he is terrified of flying and had been about to have a panic attack.

Not sure I've had a best or worst, but here are a couple of stories.

Flight to Malaysia, I had a window seat and a family with three small children came and surrounded me. My heart sank and I was about to ask the cabin crew if I could move. I struggle to sleep on flights as it is and thought it would be awful. The parents must have clocked that I was worried because they told me they would keep the kids under control and not to hesitate to let them know if any of the children annoyed me. The kids were impeccably behaved and the whole family was utterly lovely. I felt quite guilty for judging them.

Flight to Johannesburg several years ago was almost totally empty, FA let me put all the arm rests up and sleep across the seat as well as bringing me lots of wine and some cake from first class.

Flew to Portugal a few years back and everyone else got given food except me and a handful of other passengers. I asked why and they said it was because I am vegetarian and they don't serve veggie meals. Most odd, fortunately it was a short flight!

Got randomly upgraded to business class on a transatlantic flight once - that was brilliant.

For my parents' significant wedding anniversary me and my DB paid for them to fly to the US to visit some relatives they hadn't seen for years. We emailed the airline and said it was a big anniversary, neither of my parents had flown for about 40 years (DF particularly is a very nervous flier) and it would be much appreciated if they could see their way clear to giving them a glass of fizz. Didn't get a reply so I thought that meant no. DM told me afterwards the FAs brought them a bottle of champagne, a special cake and made a big fuss of them for the whole flight. I was so chuffed I sent the airline a letter thanking them.

Once flew Baku to Moscow on an extremely low-budget internal flight. All the seats were different, most were not fixed securely to the floor, one of the windows looked like it had a crack in it. Cabin crew handed round plastic shot glasses of vodka and slices of black bread before we took off and then tied themselves in to 5-point harnesses at the front of the plane. It was a fairly alarming experience. I took 3 days annual leave and paid my own train fare back.

I very rarely fly now.

Air France flight from J'burg to Paris (Eventual destination LHR)
Then;
A PA announcement asked if any passengers were willing to swap airlines to a BA flight direct to LHR
Sounded good to me, so I volunteered.

20 mins later we were told that the booking stuff had been resolved... and we now had Business Class tickets, with a £50 cash voucher for our understanding!

14 hrs of Air France Business was lovely. I tasted lobster for the first ( and only) time.

(I was also told off for taking a little too much port with my fruit.)

14 hours!!

And the gave me £50

Here's a piece from one of my holiday diaries (1990) about a flight from Ulan Bator to South Gobi.

"The aircraft was an Antonov 24 and held about fifty people. Many of the seat backs were broken and permanently in the reclining position. When using others, people found themselves looking up into the faces of the passengers behind because the seats reclined so much.

We noticed people standing in the aisle and wondered, laughingly, if the ‘plane carried standing passengers!

We watched fuel being loaded by men who were smoking. A wheel was changed and, unwanted, was thrown some distance from the aircraft and left there."

I wonder if it's still like that!

This may well out me.

When we lived in the USA we got business class fly-backs twice a year to the UK as part of DH's work package.

He was also flying trans-atlantic an average of three times a month so his airmiles (BA) were crazy.

On one fly-back, DH got bumped up to First because of his loyalty status, leaving me, DD1 (3) and DS1 (5m-ish) in Business. DH suggested I take his seat in First with DS1 (BF-ing so couldn't really be apart too long) and he'd stay in Business with DD1.

Once I've settled myself in when DS starts demanding to be fed. Am just latching him on when Russell Crowe walks into the cabin and gets a good eyeful....

Does that count as ostentatious breastfeeding..?

My DS projectile vomited at the beginning of a very long haul flight. He managed to get vomit on the ceiling, walls and floor as well as all over his sister. Fortuanately we were standing outside the toilet at the back of the plane so I don't think anyone noticed ....but it went everywhere. I had loads of wipes and spare clothes but I don't know what I would have done without the help of the most amazinging air steward ever. He was fantastic and helped clean up (I told him I'd do it it he insisted). He sprinkled coffee everywhere to mask the smell.

I fly first class quite often now due to DHs job and kazillions of airmiles. I enjoy it but never as much as when I first flew first class with the kids. I had three under 5 and I was travelling on my own with them. I was about 27 but looked younger and I don't 'dress' first class. It was hilarious to see how the ground staff and crews attitude changed once they realised I was at the front of the plane. However, their reaction wasn't half as amusing as the looks on the faces of the buisnessmen as we borded . They were horrified . Fortuanately the kids were always pretty good on flights these were in the days when you could use phenergen guilt free

DS2 sat next to Alfred Molino.(of Batman fame) DS was only 4 but Alfred didn't look the least bit horrified and was actually very sweet to Him (Random fact)

DH has just returned from yet another long haul flight. He looks awful and is feeling sick - it's fun to travel first class but I rather not have the airmiles and my DH have a job that doesn't involve travel. It's ok when you are young but it gets very boring very quickly and I think its unhealthy.

We have enough airmiles To last years and years plus lifetime gold membership (or whatever it's called) but it's hard earned.

No big stories.
My boss travelled a day earlier on the Air France flight that crashed in the Atlantic. He was traumatised for a while.
I used to travel with lab cultures, often discretely placed in my luggage (not saying too much about that, though).
It was harrowing travelling from Jordan and chatting with a girl coming to London from Iraq who had lost her family there.
Almost crying of relief on the way back from India after almost missing my connection after the first flight had been cancelled, had lost the boarding pass by the time I got to Delhi, then the office was closed and had to wait to get it printed again, rushing by taxi to the other terminal, then the check in person telling me I didn't have a visa to the UK (I was travelling with an EC passport).
Got neck pain from looking out the window after flying daytime from Manaus to Belem over the Amazon. It had been stormy on the way there and someone got in trouble for smoking, IIRC.
Feeling like we were about to land on water in a stormy night arriving at Palermo.
The time American Airlines didn't let me travel because I had an old style passport. :( A few days after a Summer terrorist alert. I had booked a trip to Machu Picchu, FGS! On the other hand, I escaped the over night interrogation my boss was subjected to because someone with his name was logged on as having entered but not left the US 10 years earlier. Sigh.
The time I had to rush through check in, security and all because Gatwick Express was very very late. All nice people.

Looking at the Himalayas.
Internal flights in India and to Sri Lanka were just lush. Proper napkins and cutlery.
Business class from Venezuela. Free upgrade. Nice.

Harrow, well done to your husband for giving you the upgrade. I often see firsthand the amount of men who are in first or business whilst their wives are stuck in the back. Its absolutely disgraceful, but I will never understand the women who appear in the cabin to see their husband and are all happy the FS let them in for a couple of minutes to have a chat.

Its awful.

DS2 sat next to Alfred Molino.(of Batman fame)

Don't remember that but I haven't seen all the Batman films. You don't mean Spider-Man 2 do you?

He was also in Chocolat

Badlad I've name changed but I was ooooooooohyesssssss.

I think you might be right about that. I'll have a Google.

I have a very dear friend who is perfectly terrified of anything to do with planes or flying. She's old now and has travelled far and wide but on bloody ships and trains! Who in their right mind would get on a sodding ship if there was a lovely plane waiting to whisk you off into the sky? I get seasick just looking at a boat. In fact (shame, red face etc) I was seasick on a tourist boat on the Thames. Vomited just as we passed the London Eye. And I'd taken a Stugeron. But I have never ever felt sick at all on a plane. And I've experienced dreadful turbulence. I once went on a Fokker Friendship plane to Edinburgh with a far-too-strong tailwind. We did the trip in 45mins (unheard of) and passed Newcastle almost upside down. Loved it.

We had to make a refuelling stop and the airport was in the centre of a thunderstorm. There was a massive bang as we were hit by lightning but the plane simply carried on and landed as normal.

It appears they are designed that way!

Mid to late 80s my during my early teens our parents lived in Asia and my sister and I regularly flew out there on our own during school holidays on the delightful Korean Airways! We were often the only non-Koreans on the flight.

During one flight my sister developed a bad headache. She called the stewardess over and asked "do you have anything for a headache?". The stewardess promptly replied "I don't have a headache" and walked off! One of the many language barriers we encountered!

We hated the food they used to serve up! Always had some funky Korean element to it that we couldn't stomach. We only used to eat the bread roll and pudding! On one flight a sweet Korean lady took pity on us and made the entire tour group she was travelling with give us their bread rolls! Bless!

Korean and Japanese travellers were fascinated by us and would give us things?! I still have a small diamond on a chain that one lady gave me.

In those days you couldn't fly over Russian airspace and we had to fly to Seoul via Anchorage! Used to take about 22 hours. In flight entertainment in those days was a movie projected onto a screen at the front of the plane! When there was no movie they projected a map with the route and a plane that never seemed to move! Sometimes we just used to cry because we were sooooooooo bored!! Literally bored to tears!

Dreaming yes, planes are designed to withstand lightning. My dad's been on more than one plane that was hit by lightning, and he says that for him, bad turbulence is scarier.

Rika, I remember the one screen at the front! Once, in a flight to Brazil, they had the brilliant idea to show a disaster movie...an airplane disaster movie!