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AIBU?

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Original poster

Psting in AIBU for traffic - Bristol mum and newborn have gone missing, please keep your eyes open if in bristol!

388 replies

KnitFastDieWarm · 03/12/2014 12:01

Apologies for posting here but the Avon and Somerset police are running an urgent appeal for the safe return of Bristol mum Charlotte Bevan and her four day old baby, who have gone missing from a central Bristol maternity unit and haven't been seen for over 12 hours. PLEASE keep an eye out for her and phone the police if you see her - she's white, around 5'8, dark hair, wearing a black top, black trousers and hospital slippers or flip flops. Her baby is wrapped in a stripey blanket.

Hoping and praying for a safe return sad

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/dec/03/mother-baby-missing-bristol-maternity-hospital

OP posts:
Llareggub · 04/12/2014 18:13

I was on a post-natal ward for 6 days. I had physical complications, an infection and DS was very jaundiced.

No one should read anything into what has been reported IMO.

Neverbuyheliumbalonz · 04/12/2014 18:15

drbonnie I don't think ralther has been 'ghoulish' (a favourite word on these threads) with what she has said.

I was pretty Hmm at the 'she was obviously bein pressures to breastfeed and that tipped her over the edge' posts from upthread and thoughtthey were entirely inappropriate, but ralther obioisly has experience of this sort of thing and is merely thinking about what could have happened leading up to this horrible.

And yes, if you think something is distasteful then report - mumsnet have said they are keeping an eye on this thread and have said that they will delete any posts that they find inappropriate.

raltheraffe · 04/12/2014 18:19

I've not. I have seen both sides of it, firstly as a junior doctor on a mat ward and then secondly as a mum with serious MH issues who went through the correct system and was transferred to MABU.

I am quite angry at what has happened here. A woman with a MH history has just been allowed to leave a ward unchecked. These 2 deaths were avoidable.

FindoGask · 04/12/2014 18:22

RIP Charlotte and Zaani. Just too devastatingly sad.

I

heartisaspade · 04/12/2014 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jumblebee · 04/12/2014 18:46

I've just seen on the news they found the body of the baby. When I heard they had found the poor mum I prayed that by some miracle the baby was safe. Poor poor woman and poor baby. I hope she has found peace now. I can't imagine how the family is feeling right now :(

fatterface · 04/12/2014 18:48

I had all of mine at St. Michaels and to be honest I wouldn't have been happy with having my babies tagged or having to get a staff member to swipe or buzz you out of the ward. Hospitals are not prisons and mothers should be free to leave with their baby whenever they want. This is a very unusual and unpredictable case and I hope there isn't a "something must be seen to be done" overreaction in terms of restricting women's movements.

Gunpowder · 04/12/2014 18:51

Desperately sad. Sad Poor family.

MimsyBorogroves · 04/12/2014 18:52

So, so sad for everyone involved.

HRHsherlockssextoy · 04/12/2014 18:59

Poor mum and poor baby. Just so sad.

I had my baby at St michael's a few years ago.

He had a tag on his foot which could easily have been taken off and when I left the hospital we had a midwife take us to the door to make sure that we didn't take anyone else's baby.

However the care on the post natal ward was shockingly bad. I wasn't seen by a midwife or anyone from 6pm til 8am the next morning. I was left alone, no food no water. I had a section but presumably I could have gone and nobody would have noticed because nobody cared. I left the next day, just so I could be home.

I'm not surprised a mother was able to walk out of the hospital unchallenged. It's a tragedy that she did

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 04/12/2014 19:05

I don't think any lessons can be learnt from this tragic case.

Hospital and HCP can only do so much, who to say this would not have happened after an official discharge.

Straitjacket · 04/12/2014 19:09

I was kept in hospital for 4 days because of latching issues. The only reason I was discharged then was because after the 2nd night, I had had enough and expressed instead and gave it to DS via bottle. All my choice, I was never pressured into breastfeeding but obviously they wasn't happy letting us go home until we had established some sort of feeding. So I wouldn't say something is amiss just on the fact that she was kept in for 4 days.

I am so sad to hear their bodies have been found Sad how heartbreaking for the father and the family. RIP!

itiswhatitiswhatitis · 04/12/2014 19:14

I was in hospital for 5 days following the birth of both my dc's due to physical complications so I don't think there is anything 'not quite right' about that particularly.

The fact is we know very little about the facts surrounding such a tragedy and wild speculation is not helpful to those left behind.

flippinada · 04/12/2014 19:39

This is incredibly sad. The most upsetting thing of all is that she could have recovered with the right support and care :(

I had severe PND after the birth of my son, more than 10 years ago and I remember on day 3/4 after he was born feeling like I was in hell and had made the worst mistake of my life. It was horrific. I spent hours sobbin uncontrollably and only once did someone (one of the other mums on the ward) stop to ask if I was ok. Thankfully, once we were discharged, I had a wonderful HV (yes they do exist) who fought tooth and nail to get me the help I needed.

For people wondering why she was still on the ward at that time, it isn't that out of the ordinary. I was in for 5 days after an emcs - and it wasn't because the doctors/midwives had concerns about my mental health.

raltheraffe · 04/12/2014 19:51

Suicide is actually the leading cause of peri-natal deaths. This woman had a history of depression and with better care these 2 deaths could have been prevented.

m.bjp.rcpsych.org/content/183/4/279.full

ilovesprouts · 04/12/2014 19:56

so very very sad rip both of you xx Sad

MyGhostIsFlummoxed · 04/12/2014 20:01

This story breaks my heart. I remember feeling like the only option I had was to take DS1 for a walk under a bus. Thankfully it passed but it was terrifying at the time.

livingzuid · 04/12/2014 21:16

This is a tragedy that could have been avoided. Like a pp I am also feel really angry about it, and completely heartbroken.

This is not under any circumstances a normal birth. Whilst very little is know about the circumstances and I agree that it is unwise to speculate too much, there are some comments that are incorrect on here.

The mother had known mental health issues. There is a whopping 30% chance women with such a condition will develop something serious immediately after birth such as postpartum psychosis. The risks are not overstated and that is why the care given to a new mother needs to be very regimented and heavily controlled until they see you are better. I know, I was one of them. I couldn't even go to see my baby in ICU without being challenged before I even set foot out the door. No way would I have made it past the ward door with her. And I am very grateful for it.

Absolutely not going into the breastfeeding thing here but in my case I was told under no circumstances would I breastfeed. I stayed on medication and I got sleep.

I hope there are some serious questions asked about hospital procedure and how a mother was able to wander out with her and her newborn baby on a freezing cold December day with little more than a sheet and a pair of leggings on. There has been a serious failing of care somewhere down the line.

My thoughts are with the family and I hope they are given some peace and privacy during this terrible time.

Viviennemary · 04/12/2014 21:21

I know the basics of what happened but I don't see why people are saying it could have been avoided. It couldn't have been without high security in hospitals which a lot of new mothers wouldn't like. Not sure if tagging would have helped if the tag could be removed.

flippinada · 04/12/2014 21:43

livingzuid. I've typed and deleted so many things but can't quite find the words so I'll just give you these instead Thanks.

I didn't have postpartum psychosis but I did have severe PND and was hospitalised. It was hell, absolute hell.

Poor mum and baby. It's just so tragic and awful.

flippinada · 04/12/2014 21:46

Just read your post properly RedToothBrush, I skipped over it before. Very well said.

raltheraffe · 04/12/2014 21:56

I was on the MABU mainly at the request of social services for the parenting assessment. I was mentally stable and the idea was the psych team could observe my MH at the same time as assessing my capabilities as a mum.

I was the only person on the ward who was mentally stable. The other mums all had psychosis or PND. They were extremely ill.

It was an excellent ward and much better than normal adult psych wards which can just be inhumane detention centres. There were nursery nurses who worked in the day to help the new mums with parenting tips.

Problem is there were only 7 beds on the unit I was on and there are only 7 of these units UK wide.

If there were more beds in these units perhaps women who were less severely ill could get IP treatment.

Even before I got transferred to MABU, the mat ward watched me like a hawk because the midwives knew I had MH issues. I was told I was permitted to leave the ward as long as a named relative or midwife cared for the baby. I was told that although they had no legal powers to stop me leaving with baby if I had attempted it they would have involved the police immediately.

It was not very nice for me as I did feel a bit like a prisoner, but I am alive and well to tell the tale, so perhaps more measures should have been taken here.

flippinada · 04/12/2014 22:04

I wanted to go into a MABU with my DS but there weren't spaces available.

Agree about adult psych wards.

livingzuid · 04/12/2014 22:06

viviennemary because it could have been avoided. That's why so many of us are saying it. Because we have been there, some of us pretty recently. All it takes is for one person to intervene and ask her whether she is ok. They will be trained in asking the correct questions. That quite blatantly did not happen and the hospital staff were either not paying close enough attention, or were so stretched there were not enough people keeping an eye on her.

If other hospitals round the world can deal with it successfully so can this one, and I am sure they have done so in the past. There is no need for tags or any such nonsense for pregnant women and new mothers with mental health conditions. There is protocol that already exists and that works. In this case it was not applied and the unthinkable happened.

flippinda myghost Thanks it is truly horrible and I am sorry you both had to go through something as awful as PND or any other mental health problem post pregnancy. It's marketed as this magical time but the reality is far from it for so many women. It's so hard to see light at the end of the tunnel when you are in the thick of it all.

livingzuid · 04/12/2014 22:15

Raltheraffe that was my experience too in a normal maternity unit, although I was in a room on my own. Zero privacy as I was under pretty much permanent observation, and I spent an hour with a psychiatrist every day as well.

There would have been more chances of green pigs flying through the air drinking champagne than me taking the baby out of the ward without prior agreement.

Services are just so patchy. It gets me frustrated beyond belief.

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