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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Claridges Breastfeeding Policy

638 replies

ifgrandmahadawilly · 02/12/2014 20:31

Aibu in posting this here, in the hopes that the people of mumsnet let Claridges know how unreasonable they are being?

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-health/11267989/Mother-forced-to-cover-up-with-large-napkin-while-breastfeeding-at-Claridges.html

OP posts:
slicedfinger · 03/12/2014 09:05

I am quite, quite sure this woman was baring less flesh than many who dine or party there. I hope Claridges consider handing out napkins to them too. Vile misogynistic behaviour, and crucially forgetting that the primary purpose of breasts is feeding ffs.

hackmum · 03/12/2014 09:18

From the photos it was clear that she was discreet - she wasn't baring any flesh at all. (Some twat commenting on the Guardian article said that the pictures were deliberately posed to look discreet and make a point! As if at Claridge's she'd actually been flashing her breasts around and saying "Hey, everyone! Look at my tits!")

But really, is it so very bad if people get a glimpse of bare breast? Could someone explain to me what is so offensive about a breast? What is it that people object to?

Chunderella · 03/12/2014 09:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

munchkin2902 · 03/12/2014 09:23

This is being discussed on LBC at the moment. Some interesting views being expressed!

PterodactylTeaParty · 03/12/2014 09:23

I don't actually see what the problem with the napkin is iIt doesn't hurt mother or baby and doesn't put others off their tea.It is called showing consideration.

I get put off my tea by seeing people eat seafood. I am really, really squeamish about it for some reason.

Up to now I've dealt with this by the drastic step of using my head, neck and eye muscles to look in a different direction, but maybe I should start handing out large napkins to seafood-eaters to drape over their heads and plates instead? After all, it wouldn't hurt them, right?

calmexterior · 03/12/2014 09:26

Grrrrr! I'm in for a feed-in! I have never had a problem bf in any restaurant, Claridges need to wake up!

Chunderella · 03/12/2014 09:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marnia68 · 03/12/2014 09:38

'From the photos it was clear that she was discreet - she wasn't baring any flesh at all'

It's not seeing the flesh that puts me off my dinner.It's just seeing the act itself.It isn't logical, but there it is!

ChairOfTheBored · 03/12/2014 09:47

But then Marnia that is your issue, not the issue of the woman and baby feeding, and any action required to address your unease should rest on you, not them.

Catsize · 03/12/2014 09:52

The ridiculous napkin thing makes more of an issue of it and makes it more obvious.
And it is very difficult to feed whilst balance a napkin and a wriggly baby ime.
Claridges were wrong.

ScrambledSmegs · 03/12/2014 09:53

I tried using a muslin to cover dd1 when she was feeding in a restaurant, at their incredibly rude, cover or get out request. Prior to the cover, dd1 had been feeding quietly and no one seemed to have clocked that I was feeding her and not cuddling her, apart from our waiter presumably.

After being covered by the muslin dd1 got far too hot, started thrashing around, wrenching off and screaming. We ended up leaving the restaurant before our food arrived, me in tears, and the manager being berated for being a "baby-hater" Grin by a lady who was sitting next to us and saw the whole thing.

We never went back, but the funny thing is I see them now in the the local paper advertising themselves as being bfing friendly Hmm among other things. I can't help but be cynical about that.

calmexterior · 03/12/2014 10:02

Marnia, sounds like you need to eat in more often if you're so easily disgusted. Or should I stay at home and away from the rest of my family just in case the back of my baby's head puts you off your lunch.

Hatespiders · 03/12/2014 10:04

'Discreet'! How insulting. Why should the mum try to hide herself as if she should be ashamed? There's nothing wrong with a breast being used for its natural purpose. This whole business is outrageous. A mum trying to nourish her little one and facing all this horrendous fracas. The poor lady, she must have been so strong to resist the urge to thump somebody!

I keep saying this, so be prepared to yawn.. but where my dh comes from, women leave their breasts out for their infants to suckle at any time. Both breasts often, and in public of course. No-one bats an eyelid. In fact, when I told my dh about this case he was disgusted at the fuss. African men do not get all excited if they see a breast. Or even two. Claridges think they're 'posh' and rather exclusive., but they're actually breaking the Law and imo should be challenged in the Courts.

EEVEElution · 03/12/2014 10:07

YANBU. She wasn't showing any flesh whatsoever so it seems they were offended by the baby itself which is appalling. And even if she was showing, their 'discreet' policy breaks the law.

Seriously makes me rage, I'd be so up for a feed in but £50 for tea is steep and I don't have fancy clothes to wear!

pommedeterre · 03/12/2014 10:10

She looked less discreet with the napkin. I hated feeding with covers, never worked for me.

sleepyhead · 03/12/2014 10:14

I don't see that it should be a woman's problem that some people see the back of a baby's head and immediately have intrusive thoughts involving sucking and nipples (note: they can't actually see these things - they only see the back of the baby's head, it's all in their mind).

People have intrusive thoughts about all sorts of things. Many perfectly normal experiences trigger them, but there doesn't appear to be any other situation where society sees it as acceptable to make it someone else's problem.

Neverbuyheliumbalonz · 03/12/2014 10:47

'You really should breastfeed. Breast is best. Breastsmilk is what your baby needs. Formula is not as good. If you don't breastfeed then you are depriving your baby, the baby that you grew and carried around inside you (and you better not have drunk a drop of alcohol or eaten a runny egg whilst doing so). Don't you care about that? Not breastfeeding is just selfish.

But for god's sake make sure that you do not offend anyone by breastfeeding in their vicinity. No one wants your knockers in their face whilst they are having a meal. Keep them for your husband in the bedroom please'.

Ah, the joys of being a woman Hmm

reddaisy · 03/12/2014 10:55

Utterly, utterly ridiculous behaviour from Claridges and it always makes me particularly sad when women spout the same views about breastfeeding. Breasts are primarily there to feed babies, go and eat somewhere else yourself if you have a problem with a perfectly natural and beautiful thing.

RonaldMcDonald · 03/12/2014 10:58

I wonder how they feel about those pesky non discreet disabled people?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 03/12/2014 11:00

Marnia if I found looking at you eating a sandwich a bit off putting would you be willing to eat with a napkin over your head?

Territt16 · 03/12/2014 11:09

Maybe they should just ban babys/children at Claridges?

Icimoi · 03/12/2014 11:12

That idiot Nick Ferrari was postulating a situation where two 80 year old gentlemen were meeting up for their annual day out and having a cup of tea in Claridges and can't cope with the sight of a breastfeeding baby. To anyone who suggested they could just look away, he got all indignant and said "But why should they?" as if it were some massive imposition. I really found his argument incomprehensible. If I found his face or his table manners offensive, would I be justified in asking for him to be covered up with a table cloth? If, say, the two gentlemen had had some traumatic experience like being in a prisoner of war camp in another country and now found it difficult being in the vicinity of people from that country, no-one would think it acceptable to ask a national of that country to cover themselves up so these two wouldn't have to look at them.

Icimoi · 03/12/2014 11:13

Sorry, should have said that that diatribe about Nick Ferrari related to his phone-in on LBC this morning.

ScrambledSmegs · 03/12/2014 11:20

Who is Nick Ferrari? And in answer to his scenario, I would ask why these fictional elderly gentleman would feel the need to stare at a woman feeding her baby? Is that not incredibly rude?

I've now seen the photos of the woman at the centre of this ridiculous furore. In the non-covered photo she looks like she's cuddling her baby. Having fed like that myself I'm pretty sure that it looked like that from all angles (was a bit neurotic and made DH take photos from different angles so I could see for myself). The cover was just ludicrous and incredibly obvious. You might as well have stuck a huge neon flashing sign over her head saying WOMAN BREASTFEEDING HERE.

Wyfee · 03/12/2014 11:20

Shame on claridges. I would have asked for another napkin and worn it draped over my head in solidarity with baby, and in case anyone should be offended by seeing me eating. Perhaps we should all wear them at the feed-in. I'm sure I got some starched linen napkins as a wedding present that are lurking in the back of a drawer somewhere.

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