Claridges Breastfeeding Policy

[ifgrandmahadawilly]

Aibu in posting this here, in the hopes that the people of mumsnet let Claridges know how unreasonable they are being?

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-health/11267989/Mother-forced-to-cover-up-with-large-napkin-while-breastfeeding-at-Claridges.html

Though I am, it has to be said, also highly intrigued by these women whose breasts just "flop out". I certainly have never seen this happen, even at breastfeeding groups where you'd presumably see a fair variety of BF women in an environment where they really don't care about being "discreet". Personally I hoik up a bit of my top, unclip my bra, and MAGICALLY MY BREASTS BASICALLY JUST STAY WHERE THEY WERE. Y'know, on my chest, somewhere near the top.

Does this magic "flopping out" thing only happen when you're lactating? When you stop do they go back to being nice restrained breasts that don't leap forth at any opportunity? Or do only people with really weird boobs breastfeed?

I can understand why some breasfeeding women are seen as breastfeeding Nazis- it really is quite exasperating to meet with this kind of hotsility.

I breastfed for 8 years- a lot of it publicy and I was quite aware of the negative public attitude.
THenkfully only a few people commented at the time, the rest were too polite. It is easy to be trutful behind a screen though.

While I did take steps to cover up as much as I could someimes my breastfeeding was "indiscreet"- big boobs, a baby with poor latch, a nosey baby who was easily distracted at the slighted noise, squirming toddlers, me not noticing a baby had fallen asleep leaving me fully exposed. These things happen and are part of breastfeeding.

And after all these years and experiences in the end I didn't give a flying fuck who was "offended".

Stay home if you don't like to see women breastfeeding because I don't care if the sight upsets you.

I think this says it all really....

I've breast fed in so many public places and also in front of lots of people if we have visitors or I go to visit someone. I'm sure some people are a bit uncomfortable but they are polite enough not to say anything.

I was once in a GP waiting room and my GP was running almost an hour late and so I had to BF in the waiting room with strangers sitting either side of me. Incidentally one of them was a lady in her 70s and she struck up a conversation about BF'ing and she said it was lovely to see a baby being fed so naturally. When the buzzer sounded for me to go to my appointment I walked to the doctor's room with DS's still attached to me and then sat and carried on feeding whilst talking to the doctor. I see breast feeding as just feeding my baby, nothing dirty or sexual about it and certainly nothing to be ashamed of.

I noticed MrHardy kept saying that despite being gay he thought breasts were beautiful, so why do they stop being beautiful just because they are being used to feed a baby?

I really don't understand why there's so must disgust out there and ignorance. I just don't get it.

Isn't it strange that 70 or more years ago public breastfeeding was completely unremarkable? Possibly because people saw it for what it was: a woman feeding her baby. And yet today when we are all supposedly so liberated in our attitudes towards sex, a glimpse of breast is apparently terribly terribly shocking.

I don't know if someone has linked to this already (cba to read the whole thread) but these are historical photos of women breastfeeding. Take a look, and enjoy - though not Mr Hardy, obviously, because he might faint with the horror of it all:

www.buzzfeed.com/southerndisposition/25-historical-images-that-normalize-breastfeeding-jlw6

I breastfeed in public often. I don't go around thinking "Ooh I think I'll make a big deal about feeding my baby now", I just do it. Which I suspect is what all women who feed in public are thinking. We aren't doing it to make a statement, we're just doing it because our babies are hungry. Do I do it "discreetly"? Probably, as my breasts have only gone up one cup size. But for women who have gone up to say, a G cup, it isn't that easy to be "discreet". And why should they be? Everyone else's hangups are not their problem.

(Incidentally I have never seen a woman feeding with her breasts "hanging out".)

What is it about a mother breastfeeding her baby that is so disturbing/off-putting, even if there is no breast visible? I'm finding it hard to get past that people find it so uncomfortable to be around.

I'm really interested to know why people find it so off-putting. Surely, if it's the mere thought of it that upsets you so much then the sight of a mother shrouded in a napkin would be equally as bothersome to you as you would still know what's happening underneath?

I was HH cup when feeding, but you still only need to get the nipple out, not the entire boob, so it does not matter how big they are.

Do you go into conniptions every time you see a large-breasted woman revealing lots of cleavage in a low-cut top then? Because you'd probably see more boob there than you would in an average breastfeed.

Mrhardy's comments are absolutely vile. But then one has to wonder what kind of issues he has, not just because he hates seeing breastfeeding, but feels strongly enough about it to post on a forum for mums, being read by a large number of people who have breastfed themselves. I can only conclude that he's deliberately trying to cause offense.

I'm probably what you would describe as a 'militant' breastfeeder - I am that way because of stupid ignorant comments like this. They're dangerous ultimately because these kind of attitudes discourage women from breastfeeding and create shame surrounding what should be a perfectly normal and natural act. Numerous studies have shown that breast milk is far better for babies than formula so it's really the babies' that you are hurting with these comments.

By the way, free to feed have arranged a nurse in at Claridges this Saturday at 2pm, if anyone wants to go.

When I was on ML with DD2 I took part in a BF flashmob at Paddington station. It was great fun. Shame I no longer BF or I'd be at Claridges on Saturday.

I wonder how things would have developed if men could breastfeed ?

www.scientificamerican.com/article/strange-but-true-males-can-lactate/

I would definitely be at Claridges if I lived there.

Do Claridges know about the nurse in?

hackmum thanks for that Buzzfeed link. I liked that. Btw, there is a thread about this in Chat and AlpacaYourThings quoted one of the comments underneath a newspaper article which is so shocking and twisted. It said:-

"I'm with Claridge's on this one... why should some self-centred, publicity-seeking prole wish to expose her ugly dugs in a smart restaurant... if not to get herself some publicity... handy that a cameraman was on hand to photograph her bloated tit, with her slavering offspring slurping at her nipple... while putting people off their lunch....

I don't visit Claridges in order to have to be subjected to right-on proles 'exercising their rights'...

This posturing bat should have been back in her bed-sit in Clapham, living with the consequences of her one-night-stand with Wayne against a tree stump in Battersea Park...."

Contrast that with the pictures on the Buzzfeed link where women breastfeeding - and all showing far more breast than the woman in Claridges was - and no one's taking the slightest bit of notice.

I'd hope that was a heavy handed attempt at sarcasm/irony but you never can tell with some commenters!

hackmum those photos are absolutely beautiful

heyho - Why the actual fuck do we have to be sodding beautiful even when we are feeding children? Fed up. We have to be beautiful when we wake up, glow when pg, be yummy mummies, be sexy secretary in the office, look gorgeous post birth and know be gorgeous bf in order to promote it.

I am so over the fucking patriarchy.

This really...

Oh, and I've had years of being shouted at/told to 'get your tits out' by complete strangers. Until I wanted to bf that is of course

I wonder if the problem is actually that people want to see the boobs, but the baby's head is in the way?

I do however dislike it when women choose to make a huge issue of feeding their baby and have their breasts out for the world to see.

Seriously, how often does this happen? I've never, never seen it, and I've been around an awfully long time. Yes, as has been pointed out, there's the occasional incident when the baby is fussing etc, but I've never seen a woman making a big production of taking both breasts out and leaving them there "for the world to see" effectively demanding everyone's attention before and after the baby latches on. I suppose there might just be the odd one or two, but is that a reason to make life difficult for thousands of mothers and babies all over the country?

I am really shocked that there are so many people out there - and on here - who are horrified/shocked/disgusted/offended by a mother feeding her baby.

Oh no wait no I'm not. If it means telling women what to do of course it's everyone's right to be offended by something that is completely none of their business and does not affect them at all.

I am happy to report that MNHQ have shown MrHardy the door. Let's face it, he was probably a bored 16 year old sitting in his bedroom anyway.

Icimoi, I am as puzzled as you. I am a breastfeeding counsellor, have been for some time, and I notice when women are breastfeeding, and I can honestly say I have never, ever seen a woman 'flopping' her breasts out, deliberately taking out two breasts when one would do :), leaving her breasts 'hanging out', or doing anything other than simply getting on with the job :)

The language used in describing these supposed incidences is just horrible - it's anti-woman, it's anti-women's bodies, and it's anti-babies (all the stuff about babies 'slurping' and being sick and making smells and noises).

Claudette I agree.

The most shocking comment for me on this thread was the poster up thread who is Mum and who BF, but stated she would leave a restaurant or cafe if she saw anyone BF!!!

And where are all the BF'ers waving their tits around for all to see? Of course they are protected by law if that is what they want to do they can, but I think it is a total myth that this goes on. I just don't see people doing this. I do tend to notice people BF, I did it everywhere myself. But very very rarely do you see any breast at all, let alone nipples being waved around.

Are all the people who are offended by BF looking for BF Mums and then ogling them, to see if any breast will come on show? WTAF?

So much offence and hysteria for absolutely no reason at all.