Claridges Breastfeeding Policy

[ifgrandmahadawilly]

Aibu in posting this here, in the hopes that the people of mumsnet let Claridges know how unreasonable they are being?

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-health/11267989/Mother-forced-to-cover-up-with-large-napkin-while-breastfeeding-at-Claridges.html

So, MrHardy. how are you planning on getting the law changed to require women to stay at home until they have stopped breastfeeding (or, better yet, force them all to use formula)? You're very confident that most people share your views on this, and that there has been a conspiracy by women to oppress people who hold the same views as yourself? Are you going to start a petition, or run for political office on this policy, or maybe start a pressure group?

The plight of unequal treatment of men is deeply concerning.

Clearly there is a link between feeding babies and making false rape accusations. Thanks for pointing it out very kind.

It's getting late, isn't there an MRA forum you should be on?

Pondering why someone who hates women hangs about a web forum primarily used by women.

Issues, issues.

Ok, now I really do need to go!

EmbarrassedPossessed Yes, we are being oppressed. You lot have basically just called me all the names under the sun for expressing an OPINION.

I'm apparently a

middle-class (nope!)
old (nope)
white (nope, half Persian actually.)
sexist (again, nope)
Man (woo-hoo, got one right!)

You sound really angry about lots of things MrHardy, are you alright?

Why do women hold all the cards when it comes to kids? Why don't fathers get the same rights?

Courts will usually award custody to the parent who does the bulk of the childcare. In most cases this is the mother.

Why is it alright for a woman to cry rape, ruin a man's life and never get punished for it?

False accusations of rape are much rarer than the likes of the Daily Mail would have you believe. Far more worrying is the extremely low rape conviction rate.

Why was GTA V banned in Australia for 'violence against women' - so it's okay to murder millions of blokes but not a woman in the game?

I couldn't care less about this one so have no idea.

Why are their proposals for women to get 'menstrual leave' each month? What do men get?

Now you're just making shit up.

I could go on.

Please don't. Really. You're just embarrassing yourself.

TerraNovice

Ahem.

www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2857096/Forget-maternity-leave-women-PAID-menstrual-leave-month-men-just-lump-leading-doctor-claims.html

Sorry about linking to the Daily Heil, but as you can see it's already recognised in several countries and no doubt the UK will be one of them soon.

TerraNovice, the menstrual leave suggestion is actually a real suggestion:

www.medicaldaily.com/period-pain-reason-paid-menstrual-leave-one-gynecologist-argues-universal-time-312898

One (male) gynecologist has suggested this. This is clearly not the same thing as it being enshrined in UK employment law! It's also a bad idea and not something that I would support I don't think.

It's pretty daft of MrHardy to drag this in as an example of how oppressed he is.

Well yes, it's just a suggestion by one doctor and he makes it sound like it's going to be enshrined in law soon!

Why do women hold all the cards when it comes to kids? Why don't fathers get the same rights?

They do. Have a look at the Children Act. Nowhere does it say that fathers have fewer rights than mothers.

Why is it alright for a woman to cry rape, ruin a man's life and never get punished for it?

It's not all right, and they do get punished when they do so falsely and maliciously.

Why was GTA V banned in Australia for 'violence against women' - so it's okay to murder millions of blokes but not a woman in the game?

You'd have to ask the Australian government. Speaking personally, I don't think it's OK to make a game out of murdering one bloke, let alone millions.

Why are their proposals for women to get 'menstrual leave' each month? What do men get?

There are all sorts of proposals around for all sorts of laws. It doesn't mean they'll ever be enacted, and it doesn't make the hypothetical beneficiaries of such proposals in some way unfairly privileged.

The thing about equality legislation is that it is proactively put in place to right a societally determined wrong/prejudice. So even though there continues to be people who feel uneasy about other people's race, gender, religion and sexuality etc society has taken a value decision to support people across all these areas. Interestingly within that legislation society has seen fit to include the public health benefits of breastfeeding as been worth protecting for the good of society. Whether the sight of a breast feeder or a gay couple or a person of colour offends an intolerant person really should not be anyone's concern if this legislation is strong enough to counteract this ignorance. It really should be a civil action case taken by the Equality Authority since Claridges have been so strong on their stance and they are likely to cause other places to consider taking a similar stand in the future.

I think that MrHardy is really quite anxious about being oppressed by the female majority losing his male privileges and so stories like the menstrual leave one obviously irrationally scare him.

Mr Hardy seriously lets his "friend" go off and perch uncomfortably in the bathroom for half an hour feeding her baby because she perceives he might be offended. Of course, a real friend would not want to make her or her child go through that and would tell her not to bother hiding away on his account. But Mr Hardy just sits there smugly, happy that the little woman knows her place and knows that she should hide her shame away.

Icimoi don't dare insinuate about me. I actually told her to not go away on my behalf (even though in my head I knew I'd be uncomfortable) but she said she felt uneasy about doing it in front of others.

Love how I'm being turned into a sexist just because I think some things should be kept private!

Before the smoking ban came into effect, many restaurants had smoking and non smoking rooms, so that people who didn't want to be around smokers didn't have to be.

That was before it became apparent that this was a public health issue.

If you think that you and your boyfriends should be able to eat at a table like straight people even though it offends a small minority then babies should be able to eat at the table even though it offends a small minority. It hurts no one (like being gay hurts no one), it isn't unhygienic (like doing a poo), it isn't sexual (like leg-humping or snogging).

There's no "reason" why it should be hidden away just like there's no reason why you and your boyfriend should be hidden away. Making the bigots uncomfortable (in both cases) can only be a positive step. Let the bigots go home and society can evolve without them.

Oh, and one of my friends breastfeeds. Do you know what she does though? Goes the bathroom, or somewhere private because she knows people don't necessarily like it.

I have a gay friend who never ever tells anyone at work that he's gay because he knows that some people don't like it. It's not ok at all that he should be made to feel that way.

You said earlier that if someone was breastfeeding at a table with you then you would say something about it, so it's probably quite likely that your friend has picked up on your disapproval. On the other hand she may just prefer to do it in private - that's cool too.

And, I'm not being funny but if someone started breastfeeding AT MY TABLE, I really would say something, friend/family or not.

So you told your friend not to move on your behalf, but if she had stayed you'd have said something to her about how you found her actions off-putting?

Clearly you are not able to see that your actions and attitudes are so closely paralleled to the attitudes and bigotry that gay people (and many other groups) have fought and overcome in the past, so I can't be bothered making further efforts to help you understand.
Thankfully there are laws that protect breast-feeding mothers from people like you, so your attitudes and opinions are irrelevant and your arguments are mute.

I breast fed both my children and am an advocate for it ( if it's how the mum wants to feed her baby). I too fed them in public and choose to feed them discreetly as the lady did ( before given a cloth).
I appreciate that we have the right to feed our babies however we choose. I do however dislike it when women choose to make a huge issue of feeding their baby and have their breasts out for the world to see. I wouldn't sit in public with them out so why breast feed with them completely out. How the lady fed her child I feel looked beautiful and probably indirectly promoted breast feeding.

Can't believe some of the ant-bf comments on here.
I have bf two children and my policy in public was (and is) not to look at anyone else. Then I don't see any disapproving looks to knock my confidence or get into an argument about
The only place I have been asked to stop was in the clothing section of a French supermarket.
Comments have been gratefully received from old ladies.
The only people I have known to openly stare are children of 8/9 ish, who stand an inch away wondering what on earth I am doing.
My sister-in-law gave up feeding because she knew she could never do it in public. I thought she was exaggerating her fears, but reading these comments, I don't blame her.

I see the fake 'equality' and 'I shouldn't have to see stuff I don't like' cards are being played again - how unexpected. MrHardy, and anyone who agrees that bf'ing should be a 'shut away' thing, why don't you put your money where your mouth is - if breasts 'out' is such a terrible thing then please start persuading EVERYONE, for equality's sake, that breasts should never be seen and start with people (mostly men) who go topless in hot weather, 'page 3' images and porn as these serve no health function whereas breastfeeding does so should logically be a lower offence.

Once you've taken the time all thousand decades of never to ensure ALL non-bfing people stop exposing their breasts, then come back to the BF'ers and we will have died of old age so won't mind seriously consider saving breastfeeding for private rooms.

that poor friend of MrHardy's. So she pumps, worries about how much milk she needs to take and how to keep it fresh; packs all the bottles and stuff, faffs around warming up the milk and bottle-feeds her baby, herself suffering from engorged boobs and leaking all over the place - while she could just use her boobs for their intended purpose, with fresh clean milk at the right temperature. On what planet does that make sense?

" It really is quite off putting when you think about it."

Nope. Not getting it. Maybe I'm not thinking hard enough.

Also everyone else, DNFTEC*.

*A wise phrase I learned from another bit of the internet many years ago, ie "do not feed the energy creature"