Splitting the bill

[Fallingovercliffs]

I know this topic probably comes up every Christmas but how do people feel about this?
I was out with some friends a couple of nights ago and we all had more or less the same amount of food and drink, but when the bill came someone took out their phone and started calculating who had what and how much each person owed. A couple of us said 'Look, we'll just split it. Less complicated' but they insisted on doing the 'Susan didn't have a starter. John had a beer before the rest of us got here' stuff.
AIBU to think this is incredibly petty?
Obviously if someone wasn't drinking I'd make sure they didn't pay for any of the wine. Or if I ordered a very expensive main course I'd insist on throwing in a few extra quid. But otherwise, just split the bill!!

Well then, why split when it's just as easy to pay for what you had.

I agree with Squoosh. I used to be friendly with someone who would calculate down to the last penny how much she'd spent (in situations where we'd all more or less eaten and drunk the same) and put it on the table. TBH it felt like being back in McDonalds with my schoolfriends.

Because it's not something my friend and I do. That's why.

'Your starter cost £1.20 more than mine and my pudding cost £2.20 more than hers'.

Sad.

Can only assume you're not on a budget like me and some of the other "sad examples" here then, squoosh.

It's sad that some people seem to expect others to subsidise their meals.

Pick know it's blooming irritating. I go out with some friends for lunch, and they insist on doing this. Nine of us are drinking alcohol, roughly the same priced food. It ends up being roughly the same each person anyway,

Meant I know

'It's sad that some people seem to expect others to subsidise their meals.'

Is that aimed at me? How passive aggressive you sound. You must make for an absolutely charming dining companion.

And I can assure you that no one subsidises my meals.

In smaller groups when we've all dined at the same time and had a similar amount we share the bill equally. I don't drink alcohol and my friends always make a comment about how I should pay less, however unless they've been knocking back the champagne, it usually adds to much the same with a couple of soft drinks (especially if mocktails are available) and I also love a pudding :)

The other day I went to a meal where there were a lot of people, some were ordering drinks to the table - some were paying for their drinks at the bar, some people had starters others only a salad.

The organiser of the meal told the waitress we'd all pay for our own and the waitress went round to check what we'd ordered and everyone paid for their own. There was no drama or embarrassment whatsoever, it was the perfect solution in that situation.

It's not always like that though and paying for your own share doesn't guarantee a smooth process! Years ago I went to a friends dinner (there were over 20 of us) and we decided to put in for our own amount. When the waitress came to collect the money it was over £100 short and everyone just looked at their hands and didn't confess to having put in less than they should have. Myself and my DP ended up putting in a load extra (we weren't the culprits honest!) as it was just too awful to argue...

Never wise to assume Sheitgeist as I most definitely am on a budget. I'm not talking about Le Gavroche here, just local neighbourhood pubs and restaurants.

I agree that getting calculators out can be a bit tacky. But when I've been out everyone has just put in what they think they owe. No calculators, no person at the end being pissed off because they only had salad, and I can only remember one time where it came up short. Nice and fair and civilised, with no potential for hard feelings.

When it's been a split bill with large groups, there has always been someone pissed off afterwards.

We always get everyone to pay for drinks separately and then just split the food bill. As a veggie, mine is normally cheaper than everyone else's, but not by too much.

Krystellie - I used to have a friend who only drank tap water when we went out. I always order a jug of water, because that way I don't drink as much alcohol and it doesn't cost as much.

"Is that aimed at me? How passive aggressive you sound. You must make for an absolutely charming dining companion."

Coming from the person who says that people who like to pay for what they've had are 'sad'.

Oh God, my DH got stitched up by his own family yesterday - he took our 2 DC to see his DM, DSis and her DP and one DC at a pub halfway between us both.

so the bill comes and my DS needs the toilet so when DH gets back they said they'd split it but when DH checked, they'd split it in half. So 1 adult and 2dc paid the same as 3 adults and 1dc. It wouldn't have been so bad but £50 for a burger and 2 kids meals in a Beefeater type place makes me feel stabby!

Well next time be a big brave girl and direct your snide comments directly at me.

I thought it was perfectly obvious.

Well hopefully you've found my feedback to be constructive.

But if anyone is "sad" it is those who are well enough off but would quibble about couple of pounds, squoosh , not those of us for whom a night out in a group would be impossible if we have to pay any more than we can afford to - or have budgeted for - by paying for others having lots of courses/buckets of booze, too.

Big difference that you don't seem to be sensitive to.

I think though Squoosh , there's a major difference between you and a mate, or two couples, who go out together reasonably regularly, and know it all comes out in the wash, splitting the bill than - for example - a 'works do' where people can spend vastly different amounts.
The first scenario I suspect most people will happily split, but when you have a group of people that don't normally socialise together and have a very different budget in terms of what they are comfortable spending on one evening out, then it makes a big difference.

plecofjustice People won't necessarily have "forgotten to put in 12.5% on top for their tip" - people may have chosen not to (or may not be able to afford to). There's no compulsion to tip at all, and certainly no expectation to tip 1/8th of what you've spent.

Well if I only had £15 to spend on a meal I'd be sure to pipe up pre meal to let people know I was on a strict budget and would be paying separately.

BackforGood in my experience of eating with large groups of work colleagues is there's always one person who is itching to take charge of the bill and split it all fairly and squarely.

As long as no one has taken the piss with drinks orders I'm happy to split it evenly, even if this means I'm paying £4.52 more than I've actually consumed.

I think Squoosh made it perfectly clear she wasn't advocating splitting the bill in scenarios where some people have had a bucketload of booze and others have had a couple of glasses of wine.

I don't understand why it's and either/or situation. We use to ask who wanted to split and who wanted the menu to calculate their own. Out of 10, 2-3 would calculate for various reasons and the rest was split.

It always the over/under eaters/drinkers to pay fair and those who had similar meals to split.

Me and my friends generally split but I am a wine guzzling steak orderer so I always offer to put more in unless I am with my other gluttonous friends. I also will speak up if one person has had a salad and water, although in large groups it's harder.