to wonder if anyone on here has had their Christmas deliberately ruined by a spouse or family member who hates it.

[Darkesteyes]

Starting this thread has been prompted by a couple of threads ive read on here today.
Its galling how manipulative and sneaky some people can be just because they hate Christmas and dont enjoy it so they dont want anyone else to enjoy it either.
Dont get me wrong. I know it can be a stressful time and ive found it more stressful both last year and now but i would never take it out on anyone else or actively set out to stop someone else enjoying it. Has anyone experienced something like this?

Some of these are just horrific. so glad many of them are exes though.

I love Xmas and only remember one being mildly spoilt by x just because he was late and disorganised, presents at the last minute etc. I felt really sorry for his mother. He'd buy her wrapping paper as her gift to be quirky, but looking back it was actually just horrid. That poor woman (we were only 19 and didn't live together - if we did then I'd have done more about it).

Yes, last Christmas my MIL posted a card wishing my DH and son a lovely Christmas, the year before my DH overheard her telling her sister I was a miserable bitch. I haven't spoken a word her for nearly 3 years, if there is any repeat this Christmas I will be seeing a Solicitor in January to get a letter sent to her for harassment, she only seems to start at Christmas.

This all started 3 years ago for nothing, we've been married now for 17 years, I was devastated at her insults and she said awful things about my dad who she only met once at our wedding, my daddy is the most modest, shy and giving man you could ever meet. I will never forgive her and will never break breath to her, but I'm on tenterhooks waiting for what she's going to do this Christmas.

Or christmases weren't all bad, despite dad's selfish behaviour. My mum was ace, and she just ploughed on regardless, making sure he didn't 'win'.

She tried for a long time to get him to leave before he actually did. In the end she plonked him on a train to his mother's (six hours away), blind drunk, then rang her mil and said "Tom's due in x station at x o'clock. Meet him or don't, but he is never coming back here."
And he never did.

Dh says I ruin his Xmas by being super organised and buying all the gifts by October. He misses the December shopping frenzy.
He also says I take away the magic by putting tree up in November.
He's great though and very traditional. I live Xmas now.

The truth is I love Xmas so much as it was never celebrated in my house growing up. No reason not to. My parents never really bothered. I do remember an electric tree that made horrible shrieking noises though.

When I had my first DC it was near Xmas. Ex, abusively, used to take baby off me and go out. He kicked me out of house on Christmas eve and said he was keeping baby. He then took me back in at the end of the night and proceeded to say I ruined Xmas.

10 years on after I live with dc1 after courts agreed man was emotional and financial abuser. Ex is still alone and is likely to spend Xmas by himself. I feel sorry for him.

woffington hes brought it on himself.

My dad has never liked Christmas since he split with my mum and hasn't spent any of them with us since then. It's a difficult time of year for him

My mothers partner didn't like the expense of Christmas and used to disappear on drinking binges a few days before the day itself. One of the times we were left with nothing and only got Christmas dinner as a family member was hosting. She always took him back in the new year and couldn't see what he was doing. :(

Ungelato... She can feel she is clever by omitting your name in the card. But you can out smart her by pretending the letter was lost in the post or didn't arrive until January.

My Dh hates it. He's usually a miserable twat .
Fuck did I really say that?
That's the reality out loud . Time to do something about it ...

My father was an abusive alcoholic who felt tremendous pressure to present the perfect front. As such I spent most of my life terrified of him, with his biggest outbursts coming at Christmas, I always spoiled things, didn't deserve nice things etc.

My mother protected me as best she could and I have more good memories than bad though. I have two DC myself now so try to take a leaf from her book and just have a fun day with plenty of food and drink and laughter.

My MIL on the other hand is just bloody miserable. She complains about the food, how much everyone has to drink, how many presents we give/receive and what we watch on TV. DH is only now, after 12 years, starting to enjoy Christmas and get involved beyond the basics of buying token gifts and eating a big meal before taking himself off to read it otherwise entertain himself.

Wow waltons. What are you going to do? Are you ok?

Thanks Screenclean. No I'm far from ok . I'm dreading two weeks together at christmas . He is a fairly flat character and after 17 years I can't take anymore . We've talked it out over the last few months and he's begged me to give him another chance. Talking is one thing though and changing is another !
Anyway , as a SAHM my choices are limited but I think I see a way forward - dd2 will be 3 in Feb and so from April she will get funding for preschool . Time then for me to return to work and start gathering together my independence . I can't leave until I have that .
So lonely but so desperate to be alone !!
Anyway, back to christmas ...

As someone who left a shitty marriage (not abusive) I wish you all the luck in the world. You'll get loads of support here too. Good luck getting through it all x

Much appreciated . Genuinely .
Xx

Good luck from me too Waltons