AIBU? DD 14 made fun of when in pain

[WelliBeDamned]

My DD is 14 and recently went to stay with my sister and her daughter for a weekend whilst I was on holiday with DH. DD has always suffered with very painful periods and many times I've heard her crying out on the bathroom floor in pain.

She came on unexpectedly whilst staying with my sister and she said she was in agony and thought she was dying, felt sick, going hot and cold feeling faint etc and doubled over and moaning in pain. Meanwhile, my sister and her daughter said she was being a drama queen and mocking her, taking the piss. She asked for painkillers (feminax) and she got her cheap paracetamol which obviously don't touch the pain.

When I went to pick DD up, my sister told me that my daughter would be a brilliant actress and told me that she came on and was being a proper 'drama queen'.

Am I right to be pissed off?

Yes you are right to be pissed off. Some women who haven't had painful periods don't seem to understand that others do.

Have you taken your DD to the GP?

Have you taken DD to the doctor over these dreadful periods? I do hope so....it's not supposed to be like this and they can do things to help.

Your sister sounds like a twat. I wouldn't let your daughter stay with her again. YANBU.

When she's in pain, does she show other signs of it - e.g. is she pale and sweaty?

Do take your DD to the GP. My DD once had to take a day off school with bad period pain, so I took her to the GP, and she prescribed something, but said there were other options if this didn't work (which it seems to have done).

According to her (GP), ibuprofen is better than paracetamol for period pain.

And yes, YANBU to be mightily pissed off. Your sister and niece were really nasty. How did they know how much pain your DD was in?

If your DD thinks she is dying because she has her period then you need to take her to the Drs immediately.

Your poor DD that's not ok at all. I found that my periods have become less painful as I've got older, hopefully she'll find the same. I did always find paracetamol fine for period pain and ibuprofen can help too.

They were horrible to make fun of her.

However, she does need to learn to deal with her periods- thinking she was dying does sound very over dramatic.

If they really are that bad, what has the doctor said about it?

Oh, and feminax is just very expensive ibuprofen.

That's awful. Go see a GP, and maybe one that knows about endometriose. It's unlikely she has that, but it is always worth it to catch it early if it is.

YANBU. I had very painful periods for the first few years - they eased off eventually.

Feminax is just an anti-inflammatory so cheap ibuprofen would probably work just as well (but explains why the cheap paracetamol didn't). Mum used to give me the prescription-only stuff she had for her arthritis It was probably like going after a mosquito with a sledgehammer, but gee it made me feel nice and floaty

when you are 14 you ARE learning to deal with your periods. Presumably this was worse than she had experienced before? I have had the odd extremely painful period as a teenager, it was frightening tbh. It is a bit like childbirth imo, people judge your level of pain by their own experience.

I think they were horrible to her.

rather than get angry with family - take her to GP for some proper medication

yabu re feminax BTW- they are just paracetomol in a pink box- you can only get strong painkillers OTC

just suprised you are posting about being annoyed with family TBH- the issue is you heed to see a GP and get her appropriate support

If that was the worst pain she had ever experienced and if she was unable to think or do anything else because of the pain, I'm not surprised she described it in those terms. I've had very bad period pain at some points in my life and it was very much as I recall the early stages of childbirth. Poor kid. Yes to the GP.

I'd have a strong word with your sister, OP. How nasty.

How horrible! yanbu and i would demand an apology from your sister. Take her to gp asap- i suffered for years until one day stocking up in pharmacy with ibuprofen and paracetamol the pharmacist thought i was going to kill myself. When i explained it was for period pain they gave me tranxenemic (sp?) Acid and mefenemic acid. You need a prescription for it in the uk but it is M.A.G.I.C!!!!!! Get it for your daughter before another month goes by, it will transform her life.

I have taken her to see the GP numerous times and they say it's normal and she will grow out of it. They have prescribed her mefanamic acid which help but they take awhile to work. She's been like this since she started them when she was 10, but I remember suffering when I was her age and it got better when I was in my twenties, hoping it's the same for her.

And fwiw, i found labour pain less painful than period pain.

Hmmm. I didn't grow out of it and was diagnosed with endometriosis many years later. My daughter hasn't grown out of it and she's now 22. The only thing that made a difference to me was going on the pill and now as the menopause approaches all is fine.

That is horrible I would be so angry with my family if they treated my dd like that, yes anti inflammatorys are better for painful periods than paracetamol but agree with others your dd needs to see her GP. I don't think she is a drama queen, she is still a kid and they don't and can't deal with pain like an adult.

I guess you do all the usual things for her like hot water bottle and baths when she is like this, loads can be done to help your dd even some supplements like primrose oil etc but speak to a GP first . Good luck with your dd she will olbviously have periods for a a long time and needs some help. Have you told your sister how you feel?

She should be scanned OP. IN case she has PCOS. Go back and see another GP.x

Does your sister not remember you suffering when you were younger?
You'd think she'd show a little more sympathy.

YANBU! I had a friend at school who was sick, doubled over in pain every time her period came. It really was awful and I really felt for her. Feel so sorry for your DD that her auntie treated her like that! I would be having stern words with your sister!

Hakluyt
However, she does need to learn to deal with her periods- thinking she was dying does sound very over dramatic.

I always had horrific periods until I got appropriate medical treatment. For me, it was about the same as mid stage labour pains going on for days, with addition of burning pains in my thighs and gut spasms. Was I being overdramatic when I was crawling on the floor because I couldn't stand upright.

For some women periods are really really bad. No OTC painkiller gets anywhere near it.

Your poor dd. I had truly excrucating period pain at the age of 15 yrs and never grew out of it; so I really sympathise with you both.

Tbh, I think your sister's pov is one generally found in the medical profession and generally in society ie that it is a "women's problem" and therefore not worthy of being investigated and treated properly. The huge toll that painful and heavy periods take on some women is seriously underestimated imo.