To think that whilst DS' comment was wrong it was not racist?

[HaHaLOL]

DS is in year 7. An Indian girl was talking very quickly in English to him and being silly. He said "stop talking flippin' Hindu".

Today we've had a letter saying he has been given a Senior Staff Detention, in big bold letters - "for making a racist comment". He told me he had to write a letter to her and her parents (don't have a problem with this at all). This is all because the parents have made a complaint against him.

Now he has a fiery temper and we can imagine him saying sth like that out of anger/frustration. DH is sure it's not actually a racist comment and thinks it's like saying to someone "stop speaking double Dutch" and he thinks its PC gone mad.

DS' head of year told him today that his comment will go to the local council and be recorded in a "racist comments" book. Is this true?! Surely she wouldn't have made it up!

I would add that DH's best two best friends are Chinese and Indian. We lived in Asia for a year. DS went to a huge international school. He would have had more nationalities in his class than the whole of our town I would imagine. His best friends were Japanese, Korean, American and English. For 2 years DS has been learning Mandarin. I cannot imagine a more culturally aware 11 year old among his peers.

DH wants to write to the Head to challenge the racism angle, particularly if it's gone down in some record at the council.

I hope this post doesn't offend anyone. I just want to get some other views, please.

Thank you.

claig which type of racism should be allowed so that you have your freedom of speech?

No racism

What is your definition of Racism though, Claig as you seem to think that the op's child didn't make a racist comment. Your definition seems to be different to that which is law.

My definition is denigrating someone on account of their race.

Hmm, sounds like the girl was bullying the DS and somehow managed to turn it into a racist attack to me.

It doesn't really matter what the girl was saying or doing. Making a racist comment (which it was IMO) is not appropriate or necessary. And she is not bullying him by talking about it. If she was encouraging others to shun him because of what he said, then yes, that's inappropriate also. But simply telling others what happened? She is well within her rights to do so. If others choose not to associate with him because of that, then that is their choice.

Hopefully he has now learned that there are a lot of different consequences from this and will not repeat the behaviour. If you want him to learn anything at all from this, then I would suggest that you back off and let the school deal with it as they are. He behaved badly, he'll have consequences, he'll learn. Any stepping in and "defending" him essentially tells him that casual racism is okay, when we all know (well, some of us do anyway) that it's very much NOT okay.

It doesn't really matter what the girl was saying or doing.

So SHE can say and do what she wants? Is that right?

No. If she was being inappropriate, that should be dealt with separately. But the OP originally stated the girl was simply talking fast and being silly. Then she stated the girl was saying things about the OP's son. I await further developments.

Regardless, that does not make it okay for him to make a racist comment.

Did I read that right, she can do exactly what she wants, bully, tease, make fun of, or whatever and its OK. So bullying is OK then.

So SHE can say and do what she wants? Is that right? She has done nothing wrong here. He made a racist statement, her parents complaint to the school, who then followed procedure. The girl shared her horrible experience with others, they choose to not associate with him.

Chimes what exactly do you think she did wrong here?

Light Did I read that right, she can do exactly what she wants, bully, tease, make fun of, or whatever and its OK. So bullying is OK then

How has she bullied him? She shared with her friends her experience with HAHA's son, how is that bullying? Why do you go to extremes of fabricating stories about this girl, so that you can prove that she deserved the racism directed towards her?

IMO it was an inappropriate comment but not racist, but it is very easy nowadays to turn anything into a racist comment if one so wants.

The bullying was when she was talking and gabbling in a silly voice in the first place not the sharing it afterwards.

I fail to see specifically how talking and being silly in and of itself is bullying. Children (even 11yos) do that all the time. The OP hasn't ever specifically said what the girl was saying, so I'm not sure how you can say absolutely that she was bullying him at all. She's alluded to it a bit, however, that was rather later, in drip-feed format, but it's never been clarified.

I haven't gone to any extremes, i am just stating my opinion like you are.

Alice - You can't say absolutely she was not bullying him, you weren't there, you can only say what you think, like I am.

and you opinion is that she is exaggerating and Britain was better when you were free to be racist

I am as free to state my opinion as you are but it doesn't mean I'm racist.

Are you saying I am racist because I am saying that someone could be bullying someone.

The boy tried to shut the girl up by trying to shame her about her ethinc background, saying she was speaking hindi when she was speaking English - he would not have said this if she were not Indian looking, therefore it was a racist comment.

if he had said "shut up" or "stop talking rubbish", it would not have been racist. He made reference to her ethnic background with intent to denigrate her. It was racist. The family found it racist. The school thinks it was racist. The OP supported the school's action that the son should write a letter of apology for making a racist comment (and said she suggested it herself). It was only after she got the letter about it being recorded with the council (anonymously) that she started to change the story to it not being racist - they want there to be no record of the racist incident. I.e. a whitewash.

Light Please read more carefully. At no point did I state she was or was not bullying the boy before he made the comment. I stated that the OP only said initially that she was talking fast and being silly. That doesn't necessarily mean she was bullying, which is what I said. And if she was simply telling others what happened, that is not bullying either.

I also said if she WAS bullying, it should be handled separately. And he could have handled it better as well, such as by making a complaint. Whatever she did or didn't do, it doesn't excuse what he said. He was wrong, regardless. Whether or not she did something wrong is a separate issue.

I just think that saying things that are not racist should not be disallowed

I've got good news for you, claig. The law absolutely allows people to say things that are not racist.

claig It doesn't matter what you perceive to be racist when it's not directed at you, that's not how it works. Plus, it's hard to take someone seriously when they've posted several links to the Daily Mail (hardly known for their open tolerant approach!) to prove their point.