To think that whilst DS' comment was wrong it was not racist?

[HaHaLOL]

DS is in year 7. An Indian girl was talking very quickly in English to him and being silly. He said "stop talking flippin' Hindu".

Today we've had a letter saying he has been given a Senior Staff Detention, in big bold letters - "for making a racist comment". He told me he had to write a letter to her and her parents (don't have a problem with this at all). This is all because the parents have made a complaint against him.

Now he has a fiery temper and we can imagine him saying sth like that out of anger/frustration. DH is sure it's not actually a racist comment and thinks it's like saying to someone "stop speaking double Dutch" and he thinks its PC gone mad.

DS' head of year told him today that his comment will go to the local council and be recorded in a "racist comments" book. Is this true?! Surely she wouldn't have made it up!

I would add that DH's best two best friends are Chinese and Indian. We lived in Asia for a year. DS went to a huge international school. He would have had more nationalities in his class than the whole of our town I would imagine. His best friends were Japanese, Korean, American and English. For 2 years DS has been learning Mandarin. I cannot imagine a more culturally aware 11 year old among his peers.

DH wants to write to the Head to challenge the racism angle, particularly if it's gone down in some record at the council.

I hope this post doesn't offend anyone. I just want to get some other views, please.

Thank you.

As I said - appalling for adults to vilify an 11 year old child over something like this. Sad, so sad.

But keep on having a go at him and his mother if it makes you feel better.

He knew she was speaking English, that is clear from the OP. Even if she was speaking Hindi the comment would have been unacceptable because of the way it was said.

"Can you please be quiet"
"Can you speak slower" etc would be more appropriate responses. But I think that this is essentially what he wanted her to do. Not shut up because she is a different race.

So if the girl was Albanian, and he said "stop speaking flippin' Albanian" is that racist?

I think the greatest problem stems from the misunderstanding of what is actually meant by "racism".
Oxford English Dictionary - Racism "The belief that all members of each race possess characteristics, abilities, or qualities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races".
IMO the comment made was culturally insensitive and OP, your son is clearly sorry and won't repeat the mistake. I wouldn't say it was racist. He wasn't implying that the ethnic origin of the child is in any way inferior or superior to his own ethnic origin. Would it have been racist if he'd said "stop speaking flipping Spanish"? He made an assumption about a language the child may or may not speak, presumably based on the colour of her skin, but that doesn't mean it's racist. Stereotyping maybe, and it will serve him well not to make assumptions in future, but he's not suggesting such language or skin colour is in any way inferior to his own.
In fact, the assumption that the comment is racist or was meant so as to imply inferiority may suggest that the mortally offended have themselves jumped to the conclusion of an inferiority existing.
If it was my DS, I'd agree with all suggested by the school, save that it be reported and go on his record as a "racist incident". I would fight that on the basis that, as a one off comment, it was misguided, insensitive and inappropriate but not racist. Racist is an extremely strong word with deep connotations and I would not want that on my DS's record.
I appreciate that there are people who will disagree, my post is intended directly towards the OP and is just my opinion.

Millie I agree with what you have said. I just wasn't able to say it as well as you!

claig that point has been made already. Perhaps you were too busy pushing a political agenda and looking up Daily Mail links to pay attention.

So if the girl was Albanian, and he said "stop speaking flippin' Albanian" is that racist?

If it was in the same context, yes.

If she was Brazilian and he said "stop speaking flippin' Portuguese" when she was actually not speaking Portuguese, but was obviously speaking English, would that have to be reported to the local council as a racist incident?

OP is still insisting it was an off the cuff comment that was not borne out of any desire to be racist - I am quite sure that it was, but the point made over and over here is that there doesn't have to be intent for there to be racism.

"So if the girl was Albanian, and he said "stop speaking flippin' Albanian" is that racist?

If it was in the same context, yes."

The context was speaking very fast and being silly and he may have been being silly too by making a joke that imploed he couldn't understand what was being said.

Harverina, I agree with your sentiments.
There is a difference between making an offensive comment and making a racist one. Have the girl's parents complained to the school because they were offended by the comment or because they think OP's son made the comment because he believes he is superior to the girl because of her race? I suppose we won't ever know. But there is a distinction between the two.

Sometimes, issues are slightly more complex than can be conveyed in a simple dictionary definition. I'd say racism is one of them.

I don't wish to get into an argument, so I will make this my final post on the matter. My comment was, as specifically stated, directed at the OP. However, IMO an understanding of the definition of a word is fundamental to the interpretation of it and what constitutes it.

It was definitely rude, if perhaps not racist. He knew she was speaking English, why could he not just ask her to slow down or ignore her if she was being silly? I was mortified a couple of months ago when a sweet looking young Indian lady asked me for directions. As I had my headphones on, I didn't hear her correctly the first time so I asked her if she could repeat the location she was asking for. My almost 8 year old DS then piped up "Yeah, speak English!!!" She giggled but I went so red and apologetic and felt like sinking into the ground - anyone hearing it would think he's hearing that sort of thing at home. We both look southern European but DS is ... half-Indian ( not that she would have probably guessed that).

I do think the parents are over-reacting a bit though. There's plenty of reverse racism from non-Euro background to Euro background students that goes on casually in the schools but they rarely get pulled up on it to the extent you're describing

There are lots of definitions of racism. To rely on one, necessarily brief, source is not useful at all.

TheOriginalSteamingNit If a French girl was speaking English, you think anyone would tell her to stop speaking Hindi?

Surely if it was a French girl who "was talking very quickly in English to him and being silly" (quoting from OP) he would've said "stop talking flippin' French".

No such thing as 'reverse racism', mimi. Racism is racism, whoever it comes from.

Blimey, this this thread is bonkers.

OP, I'm with you and your DH on this one. Fair play to your son for apologising and admitting he did something wrong. I think there is a massive and unfair overreaction by the school and by a lot of posters on this thread

He is 11, he mistakenly said something he shouldn't have, he is sorry, he's apologised and he's been punished and that should be the end of it. I cant imagine how badly he must feeling.

As an aside I'm a bit that you son used the word 'flippin'.

DirtyOldTown agreed. The term reverse racism makes the attack seem less serious. I hate it.

For God sake why when anyone says a ignorant or racist comment they say they have friends of the race, ITS IRRELEVANT nobody cares if his dog is Hindu what he said was rude as hell and ignorant not racist though as Hindu isn't a race

Nice to see UKIP on full force on this thread tonight. Not.

The girls' mother has been in to school to give a talk about Hinduism. We have just found that out. That is how he has made the connection. She was speaking some English words. Some non English words.

Having friends from other races does not say we are not racist. It does say we do not consider ourselves superior in any way. Because we do not. WE DO NOT.

The girl was speaking both languages. Sorry that wasn't clear from above.

I don't live in UK, so I am wondering if a child is called 'fat' or 'ugly' or 'dumb' for e.g. by another child, what would the consequences be in this instance for the name caller?

Would it also go on record, they have to write to child and parents to apologize and it be recorded in some book?

murphys being 'fat' or any other body shape is not a protected characteristic as outlined by the very important piece of legislation; the Equality Act 2010.

The protected characteristics are;
Age
Disability
Gender reassignment
Marriage and civil partnership
Pregnancy and maternity
Race
Religion and belief
Sex
Sexual orientation