To tell my friend to fuck off and never speak to her again?

[Mammanat222]

Will try to be brief.

Friend came round this morning to see our new place. We moved in a week ago.

It's got brand new [cream] carpets through-out.

As anyone in London can testify today was wet and there has been plenty of rain in recent days.

We are strictly shoes off at the moment, due to aforementioned carpet and I know a lot of people disagree with this in principle but lets not concentrate on that.

Friend turns up with her 3 year old son, he is in his rain stuff including wellies as is she. I greet them in hallway and tell them to take shoes off. Nothing rude or argumentative and friend knows I have had carpet put in, she also knows how much it bloody cost.

Friend obliges and takes her boots off but says "it took me forever to get him dressed today can I leave his boots on and give them a wipe", I politely say he needs to take them off to which I get greeted with a sigh but still she doesn't make any moves to take the boots off. She then says "look you know how hard it is for me to get him dressed, can we just not pop up and I'll keep him in kitchen"

I then try to speak to child directly and cajole him to take his boots off (think along the lines of "take your boots off sweetie and you can go up to see the cat and J's bedroom with all his toys") to which my friend says - words to the effect of 'do you know what we'll leave coming up today, I've told you twice that I am not taking his boots off' and she then proceeded to put her boots back on, frogmarch her child out of the door whilst muttering 'good luck Hyacinth with your two kids and cream carpet'

Now this is a friend I have know for almost 20 years, someone who is normally the kindest, sweetest person and her behaviour was very out of character.

I waited for an apology and it never arrived so an hour later I messaged to see if she was OK and ask what was going on to which I got a shitty reply which was "I am fine, I just don't want my son to come and play in a house full of rules and regulations, good luck if you think your kids are never going to mess your carpet up"

I replied and explained that it might seem over zealous but the carpet is just 10 days old and I not happy for dirty wellies to be worn.

Friend then replied and said she was out having some un-regulated fun with her son and she would contact me when she had calmed down.

What the actual fuck. I turned my phone off as I didn't trust myself to reply.

Where can I go with this

In all our years of friendship I've never had anything like this with her?

Or even a murmur

Giles, yes seriously. Wiped clean willies in my kitchen. Not a problem.

So she didn't stay. The OP doesn't seem that interested in the friendship anyhow, as she's prepared to never speak to her again. I just can't see it being that big of a deal.

You're fantasising again. You've completely left out the bit where the friend got arsey and insulted OP.
Heeelllooo?

Haven't read the thread, but I am jumping in to say YANBU!

News house, Cream carpets, 10 days old!

How fucking dare she expect you to have her toddler in muddy wellies running wild - she's bonkers!

I repeat YANBU!

Willies in the kitchen aren't the problem, Lillie

i doubt very much that this is to do with wellies or carpets. possibly she isn't coping with her child and you managing with yours sent her over the edge. who knows?

i would give it a week or two and see how you feel. but i wouldn't write the friendship off just like that. give her the benefit of the doubt. if this is the first time in 20 years, well, give her a break! if it's a continued pattern, then fine, leave the friendship for a bit.

Hee hee at "wiped clean willies in my kitchen" Lillieshill- best typo ever!

If she can't take the boots how's she going to and what about when he needs the toilet

Well you're not being unreasonable, but you must have a problem with your friend to begin with if you're prepared to fall out with her over a carpet.

Going to keep him.in kitchen ?

Your house, your new carpets, your rules. You were asking them to take their shoes off, not forcing them to eat turkey twizlers!

Friends of ours have hotel slippers that they ask you to wear when you visit. Slightly strange, but they always have a funny story about the hotel/holiday connected to the slippers you're wearing However, their house, we duly removed our shoes (inc 3yo DDs). Felt a bit bad we didn't have slippers for DD too.

I always follow the host's example, not just shoes but coasters for drinks etc. I hope that makes me a nice guest.

The OP has brand new carpets. I assume they cost a fair few pounds. I wouldn't care if they were mud coloured and it was a beautiful sunny day in the height of summer.

You do not walk on someone's brand new carpets in shoes, let alone wet muddy wellies. You haven't paid for the carpet!

I think she was hideously rude.

rootypig

I was responding to Giles where she disagreed with the statement 'It is NOT basic manners to take shoes off indoors. It's some people's preference'. The 'let it go' was in reference to the long running thread we had earlier in the week. I thought she would realise after that that it's basic manners to go along with the rules of the house whether that rule is shoes off or shoes on. It isn't good manners to just automatically take your shoes off. Quite simple really.

Agree edwinbear. The sense of entitlement that someone would allow a child in muddy boots to walk on anyone's carpet no matter what colour or how new/old it is I find quite incredible.

Oh, OK, Pictish. You are right. Friend is a bitch, drop her, and never speak to her again. She and all people of her ilk are scum of the earth, and never to be viewed sympathetically, at all. There are no excuses. She is scum, scum, scum.

thesaurusgirl

Correct

Oh, throughthelookingfrog, have you never vented in rage when really angry?? Of course the friendship is important to op, otherwise she would not be so wound up here. What else is a forum like this for??

My nan has a cream carpet in her living room and subsequently won't let anyone in there, including herself! She's locked the door and only goes in there to hoover it and clean her lladro

What a perfect image

"take your boots off sweetie and you can go up to see the cat and J's bedroom with all his toys" might have come off as a passive aggressive dig at her parenting. When DD was a right PITA, I might have taken such an exchange as one.

Don't give a fuck if the carpets black tbh, let alone white, no child of mine or anyone else's is walking their muddy boots over it.

What? Who alluded to anything of the sort?
You've got a very vivid imagination haven't you?

squoosh - I just think you're fighting a losing battle! a thread about a toddler, wellies and a cream carpet.....you are truly on a hiding to nothing

if you were a real friend you could possibly see this is unlikely to be about carpets, cream or otherwise, or tiny willies. If she is acting out of character she could be depressed, stressed, angry, overwhealmed...

Suggest leaving the carpet thing aside and giving her a ring and talking to her.

tiny wellys not tiny willes, sorry

When my kids were being a PITA, I was bloody grateful for any extra hands on deck I could get (and they generally responded better, as well, when they were pissed off with me)