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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell my friend to fuck off and never speak to her again?

999 replies

Mammanat222 · 23/11/2014 17:34

Will try to be brief.

Friend came round this morning to see our new place. We moved in a week ago.

It's got brand new [cream] carpets through-out.

As anyone in London can testify today was wet and there has been plenty of rain in recent days.

We are strictly shoes off at the moment, due to aforementioned carpet and I know a lot of people disagree with this in principle but lets not concentrate on that.

Friend turns up with her 3 year old son, he is in his rain stuff including wellies as is she. I greet them in hallway and tell them to take shoes off. Nothing rude or argumentative and friend knows I have had carpet put in, she also knows how much it bloody cost.

Friend obliges and takes her boots off but says "it took me forever to get him dressed today can I leave his boots on and give them a wipe", I politely say he needs to take them off to which I get greeted with a sigh but still she doesn't make any moves to take the boots off. She then says "look you know how hard it is for me to get him dressed, can we just not pop up and I'll keep him in kitchen"

I then try to speak to child directly and cajole him to take his boots off (think along the lines of "take your boots off sweetie and you can go up to see the cat and J's bedroom with all his toys") to which my friend says - words to the effect of 'do you know what we'll leave coming up today, I've told you twice that I am not taking his boots off' and she then proceeded to put her boots back on, frogmarch her child out of the door whilst muttering 'good luck Hyacinth with your two kids and cream carpet'

Now this is a friend I have know for almost 20 years, someone who is normally the kindest, sweetest person and her behaviour was very out of character.

I waited for an apology and it never arrived so an hour later I messaged to see if she was OK and ask what was going on to which I got a shitty reply which was "I am fine, I just don't want my son to come and play in a house full of rules and regulations, good luck if you think your kids are never going to mess your carpet up"

I replied and explained that it might seem over zealous but the carpet is just 10 days old and I not happy for dirty wellies to be worn.

Friend then replied and said she was out having some un-regulated fun with her son and she would contact me when she had calmed down.

What the actual fuck. I turned my phone off as I didn't trust myself to reply.

Where can I go with this

In all our years of friendship I've never had anything like this with her?

OP posts:
squoosh · 24/11/2014 16:53

Yes, Carpet Affair sounds a bit burny!

aermingers · 24/11/2014 17:04

I feel really sorry for this woman, I hope she never hears about this thread. No wonder this place gets called a nest of vipers. Posting private correspondence is awful.

CheerfulYank · 24/11/2014 17:10

Nah, it's venting. No one knows her.

usualsuspect333 · 24/11/2014 17:11

Imagine reading all this vitriol about yourself just because your 3 year old wouldn't take his shoes off.

Madness really. Must be a slow day on MN.

usualsuspect333 · 24/11/2014 17:12

It's not venting , it's a steaming frothing bitch fest.

ImperialBlether · 24/11/2014 17:15

But usualsuspect, you always seem to like that sort of thread!

It wasn't that the boy wouldn't take his shoes off though, was it? It was that his mum didn't see why he should.

KatieKaye · 24/11/2014 17:19

Except the kid didn't have a say in the matter. His DM said she'd had a struggle getting him dressed and things never actually got as far as her even asking him to take the wellies off far less telling him. She just point blank refused and expected OP to go along with it.

AMouseLivedinaWindMill · 24/11/2014 17:20

"THE MUD SLINGER"

I agree usual, on one side a woman who in that moment - at the door sounded quite desperate to me, so desperate she couldn't face wrestling with her toddler again and tried to appease the op who wouldn't listen...who was more concerned with her cream carpets than her poor desperate friend.

And a woman who has come on and as word says, even posted private texts, and other details that might out this other woman, I know who I would rather be friends with.

People say to me how great my home is too, it always surprises me as its home but they go on and on about it ...and yet no cream carpets here Grin

AMouseLivedinaWindMill · 24/11/2014 17:22

Interestingly has anyone ever stayed in hotels or b and bs with a shoe off rule?

all those strangers traipsing in and out, I have never ever ever been made to take shoes off...

and I have stayed in some lovely private home b and bs. with cream carpets/

usualsuspect333 · 24/11/2014 17:22

The thread was making me laugh.

500 posters saying 'it's disgusting to keep your shoes on'

I don't generally join in with the sheep mentality on MN.I like to go against the grain for the lulz Grin

AMouseLivedinaWindMill · 24/11/2014 17:23

It was that his mum didn't see why he should.

Your mis representing her, she wasnt standing there saying her prince had a right to keep his shoes on, his feet were too precious to walk on her chemical laden new carpet.

she was saying she was sooo tired and knackered and exhausted having got him dressed couldnt they work out a way to keep him intact.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 24/11/2014 17:23

I think people ..not just OP..have carpet ishoos

usualsuspect333 · 24/11/2014 17:25

But I do seriously think the OP was out of order to post her ex friends private texts and emails on a public forum.

AMouseLivedinaWindMill · 24/11/2014 17:27

also the op could have very easily let her carry the child up the kitchen where they could have then given these boots, a wash according to ops high standards.

SuperFlyHigh · 24/11/2014 17:27

usual but surely they're friends aren't they?

also do a quick search and you can guarantee texts etc that were private, emails even have been posted on various threads here for all to see...

but like a few others have said, wouldn't hold out much hope of OP and her friend being mates if so called friend saw this thread. doesn't take much to out the friend.

KatieKaye · 24/11/2014 17:29

You do realise that "intact" refers to an uncircumcised male, mouse??!!!!

Try putting the wellie on the other foot - householder is shattered from moving, pregnancy and spd plus toddler and friend wont even bother trying wellie removal. She is too tierd and stressed to think about having to clean up all the mess. not quite so reasonable then, is it?

usualsuspect333 · 24/11/2014 17:32

I don't like it on other threads either.

Starlightbright1 · 24/11/2014 17:32

yes and a child who doesn't take his wellies off is going to stick to staying in the kitchen

SirChenjin · 24/11/2014 17:34

B and Bs/ hotels pay people to clean up after mucky guests who mess their carpets - I suspect that the OP cba to do that (rightly so) in her own house - or even clean her own new carpets - when all it needed was for a 3 year old to take off their wellies.

usualsuspect333 · 24/11/2014 17:34

I think posters think MN is some private cosy corner on the internet.

It's not.

Thebodynowchillingsothere · 24/11/2014 17:36

AMouse

Seriously you would walk through a hotel with muddy wellies on? Yikes!

I think this friendships over really! Grin

MudWars?

SuperFlyHigh · 24/11/2014 17:36

usual actually I know someone irl who posts here (not much) but I'd be careful posting about her in case she saw.

squoosh · 24/11/2014 17:39

Welly-geddon.

AMouseLivedinaWindMill · 24/11/2014 17:39

friend wont even bother trying wellie removal

friend is trying to suggest alternatives, if op had simply said - look come in and we will work it out, lets go to the kitchen, i am sure friend would have washed boots in the sink.

being held at the front door though....

yes and a child who doesn't take his wellies off is going to stick to staying in the kitchen at this point though he weliies would probably have been washed.

CheerfulYank · 24/11/2014 17:41

You cannot wash filthy wellies well enough to not smudge on white carpet without removing them, though. Confused