To tell my friend to fuck off and never speak to her again?

[Mammanat222]

Will try to be brief.

Friend came round this morning to see our new place. We moved in a week ago.

It's got brand new [cream] carpets through-out.

As anyone in London can testify today was wet and there has been plenty of rain in recent days.

We are strictly shoes off at the moment, due to aforementioned carpet and I know a lot of people disagree with this in principle but lets not concentrate on that.

Friend turns up with her 3 year old son, he is in his rain stuff including wellies as is she. I greet them in hallway and tell them to take shoes off. Nothing rude or argumentative and friend knows I have had carpet put in, she also knows how much it bloody cost.

Friend obliges and takes her boots off but says "it took me forever to get him dressed today can I leave his boots on and give them a wipe", I politely say he needs to take them off to which I get greeted with a sigh but still she doesn't make any moves to take the boots off. She then says "look you know how hard it is for me to get him dressed, can we just not pop up and I'll keep him in kitchen"

I then try to speak to child directly and cajole him to take his boots off (think along the lines of "take your boots off sweetie and you can go up to see the cat and J's bedroom with all his toys") to which my friend says - words to the effect of 'do you know what we'll leave coming up today, I've told you twice that I am not taking his boots off' and she then proceeded to put her boots back on, frogmarch her child out of the door whilst muttering 'good luck Hyacinth with your two kids and cream carpet'

Now this is a friend I have know for almost 20 years, someone who is normally the kindest, sweetest person and her behaviour was very out of character.

I waited for an apology and it never arrived so an hour later I messaged to see if she was OK and ask what was going on to which I got a shitty reply which was "I am fine, I just don't want my son to come and play in a house full of rules and regulations, good luck if you think your kids are never going to mess your carpet up"

I replied and explained that it might seem over zealous but the carpet is just 10 days old and I not happy for dirty wellies to be worn.

Friend then replied and said she was out having some un-regulated fun with her son and she would contact me when she had calmed down.

What the actual fuck. I turned my phone off as I didn't trust myself to reply.

Where can I go with this

In all our years of friendship I've never had anything like this with her?

No offence, but poo brown carpets looking as good after five years as they did on day one isn't saying much.

I like to think my carpets are more of a medium cocoa or even latte coloured, farewellfigure.

I'm probably kidding myself though.

AMouse you are quite right.

The problem here is a littie prince being so pampered that his mother can't persuade him to take off muddy wellies.

Sweet Jesus. No human gets past my door with muddy wellies.

What a silly parent she is allowing her child to be so spoilt.

I am afraid he's going to get a shock when he realised the world actually doesn't revolve around him.

Your friend is bloody rude And should be offering to pay for your carpets to be cleaned.

Lordy, let's decide to uninvolve ourselves with OP's and OP's friend's relationship and wish them both the best for the future.

I think it highlights what's wrong with society too, but not the OP!

The sense of entitlement people have, and extend to their children, infuriates me.

Yes, some toddlers are hard to deal with. Some toddlers are very hard to deal with. Some are very very VERY hard to deal with. That doesn't mean they should be allowed to inconvenience other people.

I totally understand the boot on/off issue, but there were choices the friend could have made that did not involve this. She could have said "well at X's house the r is shoes off. Do you want help? Otherwise we have to leave." Then she could have left, with an apology for her child's (understandable but still poor) manners. If putting the boots back ON was the issue, then let the kid walk to the car without them. Wet cold feet are a natural consequence.

Picking your battles is all well and good, but you can't allow your children to ruin other people's belongings. That's ridiculous. I've never heard of anything like it.

*rule

Squoosh mumsnetters uninvolving themselves! What maddness is this?

she should not have to persuade him. should be telling him and if he refuses. sit him on the floor on his bottom and take them of.

Even if OP had wood floors, and let the little prince in to tromp round mud - the OP would then have had to spend time sweeping and mopping her floors to get the mud up. On what planet do people think it's better to clean up mid off the floor rather than get someone to take off wellies?

Anyone in the wellies on camp must have proper dirty floors. Or spend far far to much of their life cleaning the floors.

Hell, I've got wood floors and am not PG with SPD and no muddy boots would come over my threshold - not interested in cleaning up other people's shit.

My God, is this still going?

I think posting your ex friends private texts and emails on an internet forum for a load of internet randoms to tear apart and bitch over,is far far worse than a bit of muck on a cream carpet.

I think your friend was well out of order if ever i go to someones house i alays proceed to take of my shoes its common courtesy! Sounds like the green eyed monster had reared its ugly head

Poor woman who no one knows on here has been called every name under the sun.

squoosh Ok but you do realise the universe will implode if we do

We can all retreat from the thread holding hands, wafting incense sticks and singing 'Kumbaya My Lord'.

(and sprinkling a bit of Shake n Vac)

Can't believe any of you would really just let someone in and never ask them to remove their boots. If I came to your house after being calf deep in horse shit and wanted to have a cuppa in your lounge that would be perfectly fine?

Is this worthy of the name carpetGate

Well you will be pleased to know I have, earlier today, let my friend and her ds come in (he in wellies - from horse riding) and let them walk through the house. My carpets remain biscuit coloured and we aren't knee deep in shit - phew!

I've already said YANBU and I still think YANBU

But ... in reply more to some of the other posters than to OP...

Some kids are harder work than others. It's not all down to parenting. You can parent 2 kids exactly the same way with the same amount of toughness, rules, etc and one will behave angelically and one will throw tantrums for Britain.

Not saying that's a reason to muddy someone else's carpets, mind. But it's a reason not to blame the friend for her DS's behaviour which some of these posts do verge on.

Or maybe The Welly Affair?

700+ posts about carpets!!
FWIW Op I think you're right, your friend is being daft. Hang on until she calms down a bit

My dd 7 has ASD and she was very hard to deal with, when visiting friends shoes went off when requested. No it would not needabumchange I like any other sane person would ask you to remove your shoes before you got in, even though my carpets are manky due to kids spilling stuff.

Brenda I think Word imagines that she is a cut above us hoi polloi with our cream carpets .

Mouse brand new expensive carpets? Really??

Pictish love the picture !

Of course done kids are harder than others. So what? They still have to toe the line don't they?

carpet affair sounds faintly rude.