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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To pay for my daughters diet?

145 replies

mytalentedv · 23/11/2014 10:05

She is 26, and wants to get married next year. Money is very tight for them.

She wants to try a diet that replaces meals with counselling but she can't afford it. I have offered to pay this. I think this will help her focus. However my husband has been tutting and complaining about it.

Aibu? (It's £45 p/w)

OP posts:

TwoLittleTerrors · 23/11/2014 10:34

The gym probably doesn't do much because it helps you to lose weight very slowly. But it's an excuse you can't go to the gym with a 2 year old. I did when I have to lose the weight after 2 miscarriages. I worked full time and went to classes 3 times a week during lunch. Also was using my fitness pal to watch the food intake.

Bumbiscuits · 23/11/2014 10:34

While I completely don't agree with meal replacement type diets, YANBU.

It is a quick fix for the wedding only. Be aware though that lots of people who do these plans do lose a lot of weight quickly but they look ghastly in the process. Nearly everyone I know who has done this has suffered dreadful hair loss. Goodness knows what is happening to bones, joints, teeth and internal organs.

BlinkAndMiss · 23/11/2014 10:34

I think that would be a lovely thing to do, of course following something like SW would be a better long term solution but she needs to lose the weight quickly for her wedding - if this works then go for it. Once the wedding is over the perhaps encourage her to follow an eating plan rather than using meal replacements so that she maintains a healthy eating habit rather than avoidance.

The gym has never helped me to lose weight, Zumba classes helped me to be fitter and to be more toned but again did not help with weight loss. I think that diets are easier to follow once you've had that initial loss and the feel good factor that comes with it.

I think you're lovely to support your DD. I have one two year old - the things you've said sound like reasons to me rather than excuses!

SaucyJack · 23/11/2014 10:35

YANBU to want to help.

But do take on board what people are saying. She won't lose weight if she isn't in the right place mentally.... and it doesn't sound like she is at the moment.

MarshaBrady · 23/11/2014 10:35

I still don't get what happens. Is it over the phone at a meal time every day? Guessing. I've never heard of replacing a meal with counselling.

MarshaBrady · 23/11/2014 10:36

Or do you mean some substance that goes with counselling? Misses point

Seriouslyffs · 23/11/2014 10:37

It sounds like a lovely thing to do.

Original poster

mytalentedv · 23/11/2014 10:38

I will repeat - she is an adult.

Of course you can go to the gym with a 2 year old. You could go with two two year olds - but she works full time. So she would have to go in the evenings when after a days work and so on she wants to chill out with the babies.

And as noted (four times now?) it won't help her lose weight. It may well help in the future in terms of not gaining weight but it is unlikely to be the solution for losing 7 stone in time for a spring wedding.

OP posts:

simbacatlivesagain · 23/11/2014 10:38

twolittleterrors- most people cant go to a gym at lunchtime as they dont work in an urban environment!

LadyintheRadiator · 23/11/2014 10:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whatevertheweather · 23/11/2014 10:39

You use meal replacement packs, shakes, bars, porridge or savoury packs. You go to counselling once a week to be weighed and talk to the counsellor about long term behaviours. As I said mine isn't one with counselling but it's the same principle.

I feel better than I have for many many years and I'm certainly not going to pile it all back on again now I'm enjoying the benefits of being slimmer. Don't knock it until you've tried it, the attitudes on here never cease to amaze me

MarshaBrady · 23/11/2014 10:40

If it's a meal replacement substance she's probably better off doing low carb. And yes more exercise. Any type.

MarshaBrady · 23/11/2014 10:41

Thanks whatever for explaining.

KoalaDownUnder · 23/11/2014 10:41

I do not understand 'replaces meals with counselling' at all.

Does it mean you go and talk to a counsellor instead of eating? How does that work?

I'm not trying to be obtuse or annoying, I really don't get it! Can you please explain?

Original poster

mytalentedv · 23/11/2014 10:41

Because she doesn't want to get married at 16 stone.

I can understand that.

OP posts:

Original poster

mytalentedv · 23/11/2014 10:41

Koala - why?

OP posts:

KoalaDownUnder · 23/11/2014 10:42

Sorry, thread moved too fast!

carlsonrichards · 23/11/2014 10:42

Sounds like she wants to crash diet. There is no way I would support this. I don't understand big weddings after you've had kids. I'd advise her to get to the registry office and just do it, and put the money towards losing weight healthily.

GeneHuntsMistress · 23/11/2014 10:43

If you're looking at meal replacement diet - why not suggest juicing? It will be healthy and something she can continue to incorporate into her diet following the wedding etc. and it will make her look better too - glowy skin, hair etc - and make her feel better on the inside. Decent juicers are really expensive though, so you could buy her the juicer as a gift and help her that way?

Good luck to her, and how lovely to have such a caring mother.

MarshaBrady · 23/11/2014 10:43

I think the op reads as if there's no food replacement, but there is isn't there?

simbacatlivesagain · 23/11/2014 10:43

Bottom line- being 17.5 stone is not healthy. Anything that will help her lose weight must surely be good? One of my colleagues who was very obese was found dead when her child was very young. It was the weight that led to the heart attack (she was 30).

Just do it. Once she has got to a BMI below 30 then you can swap to a longer term healthier diet to lose the last few stone. Best of both worlds that way.

Whatevertheweather · 23/11/2014 10:45

Low carb works too marshabrady yes. I like the packs as it means I don't have to think all the time I have porridge for breakfast, shake for lunch, a dinner of chicken/steak/salmon with lots of veggies then a bar in the evening or make a shake pack into a mousse. Slim and save is a lot more flexible than Cambridge/LL where you can't eat any real food at all (I don't think). It's 650/700 cals a day and less than 60g carbs. And it works! Yes I probably could have done it myself without the packs but I didn't! As I said 5st 4lbs down and I won't listen to anyone who says that can't be good for you!!

KoalaDownUnder · 23/11/2014 10:45

Okay, the way the OP is worded is very confusing. It makes it sound as if the counselling replaces the meals!

Glad that is not the case.

Original poster

mytalentedv · 23/11/2014 10:46

I've no idea what some of you mean. Likewise, I'm not trying to be obtuse but I genuinely don't understand.

In any case the diet isn't the important point here. She wants to do it and since she's not 6 I support her in that.

No, she doesn't want a registry office wedding. I respect that.

No, she doesn't want to get married at 16 stone. I respect that too.

If she will put the weight back on it's worth pointing out she's already done that with WW so not sure why that and SW are being lauded as the solution to all solutions.

OP posts:

MarshaBrady · 23/11/2014 10:48

Mytalent, what do you get for the £45? Replacement low calorie food and one counselling session a week?

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