aibu to think people shouldnt use dog related comments if a child is on reins/ hand loop etc.

[itispersonal]

In the city centre today with my just 20 mo dd. She had been in her stroller but was gettin bored and likes walking but likes to her own thing ie go into direction she wants.

Didn't have normal reins with us so boughta through the hand one.

Her and I were shopping in children's clothes part of store. I stopped, did tell dd we were but she carried on so her hand pulled her back and she wobbled into some clothes.

A woman close by says "have you not taught her to heel yet?"

Aibu to think even if she meant it light hearted she shouldn't say it. I know people don't necessarily like them and I do mostly hold my dds hand whilst she is in the reins etc as that is what I want her to learn to do but shopping places are busy places and I'd rather her not get lost when she can't even talk yet.

Also my dm looks after my dd so my dm feels better with her in them.

Also if we can be nice as the only reason we were in shopping centre on a Saturday was to get us all out of the house and needed some clothes for a funeral as earlier this month we suddenly and unexpectedly lost my df

Oh ignore it OP, you are doing what she needs to keep her safe right now.
I used one of those wrist things with my son for a few weeks when they'd only just been invented. God, the dirty looks I got. Didn't give a shit.

I know that in the 60s/70s it was very common for toddlers to have reins, no one thought it was odd at all. It was pretty much standard equipment.

They aren't a new thing either. If you look at paintings of toddlers from around 16th - 17th centuries, you'll often see long strips of cloth sewn into the shoulder seams and hanging down. They were called 'leading strings' and were used as reins.

Bet I'm the worst mother in the world - I used to put my children in a cage playpen as well!

Well I have stairgates all over my house to stop my son sticking his hand in the flame on the cooker, drinking out of the toilet etc. Of course this never would have been needed if I had done ap because he would have understood everything.

I used to keep the reins in my bag and show him them when he played up. It worked great. He's brillaint at walking and hardly ever runs off.

But it's now I realise that when I used to pull them out to show him and he would run back saying no no mum that it possibly looked like I was threatening to beat him with them!

DS saw a pic of himself wearing his reins as a toddler last night, (modest comment alert: "god I was a cute toddler Mum!" )he wasn't exactly traumatised and at no point did he remember feeling like a dog. Oh, and at the grand old age of 14 he is extremely aware of road safety, as is his 9 year old sister, who has just started walking to school on her own.
I actually find that the backpack helps to teach road safety as I can keep DD2 close to me, encourage her to look for cars, stay on the pavement until it's safe etc and still have her safely unable to step out onto the road.

eatshit- so if you used the reins as a threat we can assume your child did not enjoy wearing them.

my bolting son was like that - I would say 'rights thats it you can go on the reins' and he would shout 'no mummy no' - he hated them and would far rather have been squished under a passing bus.

big he did not. So I stopped but carried them around and if he didn't listen or ran off then he had to wear them.

It worked!

I love the reins parachute dive and the look on their faces as they realise that their plans to stop dead and refuse to move have been foiled by a few bits of webbing and gravity.

so if you used the reins as a threat we can assume your child did not enjoy wearing them.

Sometimes we all have to do things we don't enjoy. It doesn't actually do us any harm to realise this.

Leopard
I still remember DD1 mid snot flinging tantrum looking slightly surprised to find herself dangling in mid air instead of jumping up and down on the pavement in a rage!

Oh ffs big. Despite MrsPresley's post you still can't concede on this point? Get over yourself. I didn't use reins with DD because I didn't need to. DS will be a different matter I think. But. He looks like a child. He acts like a child. He doesn't have fur. He doesn't have four legs. Or a snout. Or a tail. I doubt very much that he will feel like a dog if I do have to use them.

My 3 year old DS adores his Ladybird Little Life backpack. He's very proud of it. It's his and his two big sisters and his little sister are not allowed to touch it or use it. When we get near home (we live on a cul-de-sac) and I can see no cars are coming, I let him off so he can learn a bit about walking on the road safely.

With four DC ranging from 8 years to 8 months in a pushchair, and covering around 30 miles a week walking to school/clubs etc, you can bet I want to keep bolter DS safe. He's never dragged, the hand loop is just a fail safe that is very rarely needed but it's needed often enough for me to know it's the right thing to have.

The older two had wrist straps (pre Little Life backpacks) when they were that age, yet they still know their road safety and are about as safe as you're likely to get with NT children.

I do mostly AP too but road safety supersedes that and the children know it. There's no space for softly softly like in other areas of our lives.

Most of the comments I get about his backpack are positive "What a good idea" or "That's so cute!" but I have to admit I get annoyed at the dog-reference ones. Usually I'll make some comment like "He's a bolter - I'd rather this than under a car" and without exception they will agree - which makes me think people just don't think before coming out with these inane comments and don't realise how insulting/ridiculous they are.

However if anyone had referred to my DD1 as basically a dog when she was on her wrist strap just after DF died suddenly, you can bet I would have reacted the same as you Stuff like that takes on a whole different weighting.

Those same people that sniff at a parent for using reins would probably be the first parent to judge if a parent couldn't keep their child under control and the child bolted and ran out into the street. They're just not happy unless they're judging other parents. Ignore them.

so if you used the reins as a threat we can assume your child did not enjoy wearing them.

My boys used to argue over who got to wear their little backpack-reins!

Being picked up and carried, on the other hand, that was a threat!

TBH, my kids didn't always like wearing reins and I didn't give a toss, better a pissed off child than no child at all because they're under a bus.

Does your child have to agree with your parenting?

Er you are the parent and that means you are in charge and responsible for their safety because er they are children.

And as a cm I insist on using reins for toddlers unless strapped into the buggy.

Parents trust me to keep their child safe and that's a massive responsibility.

Some people are just unpleasant and have a vastly inflated opinion of themselves

Sometimes best intentions and being careful are not enough. Smart people try and plan for disaster and mistakes. The reason I held hands and had a wrist strap is the same reason I wear a seatbelt and have a car with anti-lock breaking although I try to drive safely and defensively. Belt and braces.

Mmm, interesting point... Big, if you are travelling in a car do you insist that your children wear their seatbelt?

I used to look at dogs on a lead and think that the owners were lucky that they were trained better than ds on his reins. picking feet up and dangling in the middle of the zebra crossing whilst I was holding onto dd who had mobility issues and would fall if hand not held.

I used to get comments but it was better that he was alive on a lead than dead under a bus. he had proved he had no sense by bolting towards a road and would have carried on straight out if not hoilked back.

The whole point of a threat is something they don't like. You don't say 'run off and you'll be given a bar of your favour out chocolate'

You say 'run off and you will have to go on the reins that you really hate so make a good choice'

Or you just show them the reins and they know.

I'm still waiting to hear how I keep my son safe.

'better that he was alive on a lead than dead under a bus.'

Exactly. Why do people think they know your child and circumstances better than you? I'm sure most comments are supposed to be funny but still...