aibu to think people shouldnt use dog related comments if a child is on reins/ hand loop etc.

[itispersonal]

In the city centre today with my just 20 mo dd. She had been in her stroller but was gettin bored and likes walking but likes to her own thing ie go into direction she wants.

Didn't have normal reins with us so boughta through the hand one.

Her and I were shopping in children's clothes part of store. I stopped, did tell dd we were but she carried on so her hand pulled her back and she wobbled into some clothes.

A woman close by says "have you not taught her to heel yet?"

Aibu to think even if she meant it light hearted she shouldn't say it. I know people don't necessarily like them and I do mostly hold my dds hand whilst she is in the reins etc as that is what I want her to learn to do but shopping places are busy places and I'd rather her not get lost when she can't even talk yet.

Also my dm looks after my dd so my dm feels better with her in them.

Also if we can be nice as the only reason we were in shopping centre on a Saturday was to get us all out of the house and needed some clothes for a funeral as earlier this month we suddenly and unexpectedly lost my df

When I say "This kind of thing really annoys me" I mean when people make snarky comments about reins. What does it really matter to them? It's not their business. I just want to say "Why in god's name would you think I care whether or not you approve of my child wearing reins?"

I'd have assumed it was a joke tbh. I'd have joined in the banter and muttered something about having lousy recall.

She wasn't to know you just lost your father.

sorry for your loss.

I think kids on leads is a great idea, in fact those long whirley retractable leads are great as they get a bit if freedom but you can real them back in if they wander too far!

I often meet a friend in town he has a just 3yo tbh if I see them and she's wearing her back pack or sat in a buggy I breath a sigh of relief, neither my heart nor my sanity can take any more of her very fast parental approved running ahead.

He has had more drivers and random people yell at him to use reins than you would believe and those really are intended as insults.

It's probably the sort of comment I would have made as I have a dog and used to have my children on reins (and would occasionally call them to heel) It would definitely been meant in a humorous way. Now I just don't say anything in case I upset someone.

I used reins a lot with my bolter dd. She walked from 10mo and hated the push chair so reins really worked.

Typically I had middle aged people stopping me to say what a great idea they were/how they wished they had used them/how they must get a set for grand child

Once a very elderly man spun on his heel (which was no easy task) and declared with great amusement that my dd was "like a wee dug!" The thing is she was as she was racing around and getting tangled and j was having to run to keep up.

When I have retold the story other people have been offended for me thinking it was rude - I don't agree and think it was simply an amused comment.

I can see why you felt judged and under your circumstances you are bound to be feeling sensitive. I would brush it off and just remind yourself how much safer your child is on reins

YANBU at all. I use them with 19 month DS because I have mobility problems and he's fast than me. Where I live (not UK) they are hated because people think it's treating children like animals. Yet when we went to a nature reserve with walkways through the marsh and across the lake DS could run and explore safely. All the other kids we saw were safely strapped into the buggies for the duration. How is that better?

Reins were very common when I was a kid (I'm in my late 40s). From what I remember the harness bit was also used to keep the child safe in the pram (no buggies back then!) and the reins bit hooked onto the harness when the baby was out and toddling. They then went out of fashion, presumably when buggies became more common, but I remember seeing them more in the early 90s after the James Bulger case.

However that only appeared to be for a short time. :(

I'm not a mum but if I was I'd use them in a heartbeat. Like others have said, better on reins than under a car.

They were very common when I was a child and when my nieces and nephews were born (late 60s, early 70s). I used them with my DC and I insisted on them when I took 2 year-old DGC to the Natural History museum because of the crowds of people.

Brilliant things.

We had the hand one too and thank fuck as a man picked up my ds and tried to walk off with him until he saw we were attached!

I guess it would depend on the tone used...
With a bit of a laugh and a sympathetic smile - I would assume a joke, but an unknowingly bad timed one.
With a snotty look-down-the-nose - I would assume an insult... And would hopefully but probably not deliver an equally snotty retort back.

I like seeing little ones with a little bit of freedom to toddle but knowing that they'll hopefully not get too far!

I'm rather glad to see that someone else has used the heel command on their own DC's
None of mine were bolters in general but I've used reins or a backpack on all of them. It's common to see locally so I've never had any type of comment apart from one or two asking me where they could get the backpacks from.
It probably was said in a jokey way so YABU but if you're feeling sensitive anyway then it's a very gentle one.

You are seriously overreacting. She wasn't judgemental, she made a light-hearted joke. When DS was young we used to make doggy and horsey jokes to him to get him accept the reins, it's a joke, nothing to get annoyed about.

People who dislike reins are usually the people who are always looking frantically around the playground for lost toddlers or the daft ones whose kids are continually running in the road, round the shop and generally being a massive pita.

As a TA you are constantly having to assist the same parents again Nd again to find the toddler and this hapoened so much with one particuar dad that I did suggest using reins and his reply was the kid wouldn't wear them. I did point out that he was actually the one supposed to be in charge but on reflection he wasn't.

Op ignore and so sorry about your dad.

it's not really funny though is it, i would have told her to eff off. though i am in a mood this week

Some kids do need them. DS was very speedy and I tried them once. He kept running around lampposts and around me to tie me up, so I gave up.

A nanny friend showed how she trained the lids to hold the pram so i did that. Sometimes a see a small child careering across a pavement next to a road and its terrifying. It's sensible.

Both of mine had reins.
Worst bike crash I ever had was when some fool of a woman let her toddler run into the road. I was bombing along and would have smashed into him, but I threw the bike sideways and fell off.
Good thing I wasn't driving, he'd have been dead.

In the fifties, every toddler was on reins/harness. I remember mine, as my younger sister inherited them. They were in pink leather with a white lamb on the front. I think they're the most sensible thing in the world, especially in busy city centres. I'm thinking of poor little Jamie Bulger.... if only he'd been on reins...

People make so-called funny remarks just to interact. I sometimes get people saying to me "Haven't you passed your test yet?" if my trolley goes wonky in the supermarket. Or, "Shall we dance?" if another person and I try to go the same way when dodging eachother.
I don't reckon this woman meant anything at all; she was just trying to interact with you in a friendly way.

I'm so sorry about your df. My sincere condolences.

Hatespiders, James Bulger was left outside a shop, so how would reins have helped there? Don't get me wrong, I use backpack reins with my 18mo in town but just don't really see how reins would have stopped 2 boys luring James Bulger off with sweets from outside a shop.

I suspect it was meant as a pleasantly, but as you're having a crappy time, it won't have felt like it.

I like reins - for some kids they can be lifesavers. Remember a few years back...in a shop saw a toddler streak past me, through the exit, across the car park towards the main road. Obviously dropped everything and ran, and grabbed them in time. I'm afraid I may have suggested reins to the mother. When we found her. Ironic bit...the child had run past a group of charity collectors, rattling their tins for a post-head-injury charity. Apparently prevention of major injury to toddlers never crossed their minds...

OP- you are overreacting - however I hate reins. They teach children nothing.

silver-fish.hubpages.com/hub/Preventing-Toddlers-From-Running-Off

Sometimes having reins on a child isn't about "teaching" them anything. Sometimes it's just about keeping them alive and out from under a car so they can learn another day.

Bigbluestars, we did all that with our children too.
I think you'll find most parents who use reins do so to keep their children safe in crowded or dangerous places, and teach them safety in more appropriate locations.
When you have all the time in the word, fine. When you are managing numerous items and children at once, with time constraints? Not so easy.

Or what Alice said.