aibu to think people shouldnt use dog related comments if a child is on reins/ hand loop etc.

[itispersonal]

In the city centre today with my just 20 mo dd. She had been in her stroller but was gettin bored and likes walking but likes to her own thing ie go into direction she wants.

Didn't have normal reins with us so boughta through the hand one.

Her and I were shopping in children's clothes part of store. I stopped, did tell dd we were but she carried on so her hand pulled her back and she wobbled into some clothes.

A woman close by says "have you not taught her to heel yet?"

Aibu to think even if she meant it light hearted she shouldn't say it. I know people don't necessarily like them and I do mostly hold my dds hand whilst she is in the reins etc as that is what I want her to learn to do but shopping places are busy places and I'd rather her not get lost when she can't even talk yet.

Also my dm looks after my dd so my dm feels better with her in them.

Also if we can be nice as the only reason we were in shopping centre on a Saturday was to get us all out of the house and needed some clothes for a funeral as earlier this month we suddenly and unexpectedly lost my df

AP, you have to train your pup with love to obey your every whim.
All about that negative energy.

What did you offended you?

The perceived judging about the use of reins or the comparison to a puppy?

You've not explained what the AP approach is - Associated Press? Do journalists hold the secret to child management?

I think I have done everything in that article. Still tries to walk into the road.

Also, my DGC are quite little (all walked by 9/10 months) but even now they are older they are short compared to their peers.
Whilst we did hold hands as well as having the reins looped over my arm, eventually they would get arm ache and I would get backache. So the reins would be used on their own for a while.

I really think the anti-reins people (who are more than justified if they don't want to use them) over-react to people who think they are a very useful aid to safety and comfort.

chunder- I fail to see how you could interpret those circumstances as "privileged".

I chose to raise my family in a rural setting after living in the city for 20 years. It was a deliberate choice, and I rented a house from the council, I also chose to stay at home with my children and cope on a single wage.

Tell me what is privileged about raising kids in a council estate.

If you have one child then possibly you don't need reins.

I had 4 so definatly used them with dss1 and 2 as they were bolters.

Doesn't AP mean you just carry them?

Loving the lazy parenting comment. Hilarious.

I think it's Active Parenting, PerpetualStudent.
Which has some very good ideas in the philosophy, but like all things can be prone to extremes.

Oh and Jamie Bulger was not left outside a shop. That's a complete lie.

I remember it well as I had a child the same age and thought if he had been on reins he couldn't have wandered off from his mum while she was in a queue.

This discussion comes up frequently. I can't remember the ladies MN name, but from time to time she will comment on the thread and tell the story of how her little child took 2 seconds to run from her, between two parked cars, and was killed. As she says, if you feel you need to use reins, then use them. Others opinion as opposed to your child's life is no contest. I believe the lady also had a thread on the bereavement section. If you are reading (and possibly not commenting) I think of you and your little one even time this subject comes up.
Mums and Dads - if you need to use reins please keep on using them. Your child is worth more than a strangers opinion.

Well AP on here usually means tree hugging joking it's attatchment parenting.

deeply unimaginative if so

:D :D :D

I don't spend my time thinking of imaginative ways to keep my child safe. I think what he wants and needs, what's available and go from there. He likes to walk independently where possible so, if required, he goes on the rein.

He's happier because he gets to toddle along safely without holding hands, I'm happier because he's safe and not kicking off about holding hands and toffee nosed judgemental types get an opportunity to sneer at what a shit mum I am. Everyone's a winner. :)

Oh yes, attachment.
How do you attach them?

I had 3 under 4 and am (almost) blind. I used reins with under-3s. They weren't being dragged along on them, the reins were just an extra fail-safe.

When I had just one child, I held their hand and had the reins handle looped over my arm. When I had a pushchair as well, I looped it over the handle. The reins meant that if a child wandered, then they only got as far as a rein-length away.

I found it very useful given (a) I wouldn't necessarily see the child move away and (b) once I had a newborn, a 21 month old and a 3 year old, the older two were quite capable of wandering in different directions.

I also used a double buggy. Never a car, since I don't have a licence. I can tell you with the greatest of confidence that you would have to be an absolute fool to describe a blind mother of 3 tinies as 'lazy'.

She's an idiot, it's nobody else's business what you put on your child. I would of told her to shut up like literally.
I hate busy bodies

oh yes i was in a busy bus station with two two year olds on reins and some greek girl made a snidy comment about dogs. I dont suppose she thought I would understand her. Personally I prefer to keep my kids safe than be some kind of supermom that people seem to expect.

According to my (completely non lazy parent) mother. She didn't need reins with me, as i wasent a bolter and was very careful and responsible, even as a toddler. My younger brother, on the other hand, would not be here today if she didn't use reins with him. There was no other option.

i expect the person saying reins are lazy and like a lead also doesn't strap their child in to a highchair as its "cruel".

I used reins with both of mine and had to listen to silly comments like the op mentioned. Really not worth replying too as it's a pointless and feeble attempt at humour that just needs to be ignored cos it's not remotely funny and the person saying it is a twat.

reins is a lazy way of parenting

Whatever

Ignore her op. There's always some person wanting to make a stupid comment.

I use reins with my youngest and I'd never needed to use them with older dcs. They were happy to sit in a buggy or walk holding my hand.
Youngest wants to walk all the time. She actually runs everywhere and at 2, has no road sense. I'm happy to use reins so she thinks she's running free but I can keep her safe.

As for not teaching them anything by using reins .
Do you see lots of older children still using reins because they've never been taught road sense or how to walk without bolting in random directions? I don't.

There so many nosey, badly informed and downright rude people around. Why is someone else's parenting style anyone else's business?!

As pp have said, id far rather see a child on a "lead" than one under a car.

OP, I know it's hard not to let things like this get to you,but take heart that 99% of posters here don't agree with what the lady said at all. Also, it's probable she would be absolutely mortified if she knew how you were feeling as a result of her flippant words.

The411 well, my 8yo wears reins, when he's not in his wheelchair, because he is disabled and a bolter.

lambsie I guess we just have to carry our children. Of course, then I'll be in bed with a bad back. My 8yo is really tall!

Where I used to live there was a lady who had the dog trotting behind her not on a lead with a bag of nappies held in its mouth while the toddler was on reins.
She always said the dog was better behaved than her 2 year old!

Her toddler had a terrible habit of just bolting off. You can't be that vigilant and still do your shopping, I used reins as DD could run faster than me (I am disabled).

Small children get the ability to run before they get the ability to notice or assess danger. Reins are useful until their cognitive process catches up with their motor process.