to ask people not to touch toddlers not related to them?

[evalyn]

Out yesterday with DGC. DGC walking, within grabbing distance, but not holding hands. Middle aged woman, 'Aah, gorgeous!', gently ruffles DGC's hair, smiles broadly at me. DGC shrinks away. I say to this woman, 'Yes, but you shouldn't touch, please.' Woman sniffs, nose in air, walks off in huff.

AIBU to think that even 2-year-olds have the right not to be touched at all, however affectionately, by strangers? And to be really annoyed that this woman thinks she has the right to ruffle my DGC's hair like that?

There's a difference. You purposely made her feel bad. It wasn't her intention to make your dgc feel bad.

Unfortunately the more you post the more self centered and ill mannered you sound.
My son has autism and does not enjoy the touch of people he does not know.
I have successfully navigated 18 years of taking him out and about without being rude to anyone who simply approached him to be friendly.
It's actually not difficult. One would have to chose to be rude and confrontational about it. I wondered why you would chose that until I read your last posts which seem rude and faintly superior. I wonder if you think that too is a good thing to generally model to your grandson under the banner of teaching him something?

Can someone enlighten me please - exactly what was the point of this thread?

To have it confirmed for the op, by vast numbers across the world, what she knew all along and that is that she was not being unreasonable in the slightest. Obviously.

The op is just confused SirChenjin.
She did not understand that AIBU is meant to be a question rather than a section where you repeatedly assert how very very right you think you are.
I guess the title is confusing?

I have often thought we need an 'I am right and anyone who disagrees is a twat' section. That would have served much better here.

I would very much like that section. It would sort the wheat from the twat.

Of course - how silly of me.

I think you have something there, Pag!

Pag - how right you are. It must be utterly frustrating for evalyn, but perhaps, OP, if you were to explain in simpler terms (Wiki as opposed to the OED, for example) we might 'get' it. We are, after all, a simple lot.

With every post you sound more deluded OP, verbosity is not a measure of intellect.

You asked if you were being unreasonable, I don't know why you did so, if you're so convinced you're not?

Irony: 1. being made of, or having the properties of, iron, eg 'Like goldy or bronzey but made of irony' -- S. Baldrick; 2. the expression of meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect.

I have never been righterer

Evalyn your Dgd probably forgot about it in a few seconds, this woman probably was miffed for a lot longer. You sound insane, I am glad the majority on here are sensible. How often for goodness sake does your grandaughter have her hair ruffled. Mabey you could make her wear a sign saying please don't touch me, I am sure tgat will work. Op woukd probably as well.

I have yet to meet a single baby/toddler/young child who doesn't make their feelings very clear when they don't like what is happening to them.

If your DGC is as articulate and confident in engaging with strangers as you have described, OP, then surely she would quite clearly have said 'No' or made some sort of fuss. Merely shrinking away indicates a lack of surety in the situation, rather than opposition to it.

your Dgd probably forgot about it in a few seconds

Goodness Aero - have you read evalyn's posts? How can you be so dismissive??

I know sirchenjin, I bet they had a de brief about it when they got home, and op gave grandaughter one of her long lectures

So is this your attempt to educate the world a few people at a time about your ideal non-contact society? Clearly upsetting the people who dare to touch a child one at a time isn't enough and it isn't going to be particularly successful at changing your DGC's experience as you can only address each person after the fact.

I was even less impressed by the fact that you appear to have swallowed a dictionary than by the fact that you think you can single handedly change the way our society views affectionate physical contact.

The world you would like is a sad one, OP. I'm glad you won't get it.

Aero

I've even had my hair ruffled too by a kind elderly lady in the park, God I need some serious counselling

Evalyn - it seems very clear from all you post that you are definitely projecting your own inhibitions onto your poor GC who you describe as literally shrinking away from a friendly touch. Don't you find that rather worrying?

I'm glad you wanted your DC to be decent humans. Here's an idea - why not try acting in a decent way to others instead of being so rude?

A 2 year old who can sing 'Tipperary'? Well, I've heard it all now! Most would not be able to say that and certainly could not sing a recognisable tune at that age. What a remarkable child!

I still think the fact that DGC 'shrank back' has to do with your attitude. At that age, their verbal skills are far behind their instinctive understanding and the way you reacted - even though you seem to think you didn't - clearly affected her. And boy - your complete, unforgivable rudeness to that person sure reinforced that all strangers are bad. Poor child.

Pag, you have it bang on!

Intensive counselling and possibly a little bit of psychiatric help Aero. You've a long journey ahead on the road to recovery - may courage and strength be your friends.

Sirchenjin op grandaughter should wear a sign saying, please don't touch me, my granny does not like it

The only thing for sure is that you handled it badly, both for the other woman and your DGD, and if you have learnt anything from this it should be to try a different approach next time.

I can only assume that when you came on you were not asking a question- we were just all supposed to agree with you!