To fix DS's teeth in spite of DP's objections ...

[UsedtobeFeckless]

Just back from the dentist with DS2 and it's crunch time, so to speak ...

DS is 13 and has an inherited wossname that means his front teeth are squwiff. DP's teeth are exactly the same. The dentist has been chuntering gently about straightening them up for ages but now all DS's milk teeth have bailed out it's time to get down to business. This means a permenant brace for 18 months or so. Trouble is, DP is dead against the idea. He says his crooked teeth are part of who he is and the same goes for DS. I think he's being a bit ridiculous - if DS has the work done now it's totally free and has a much better chance of sucess than if he waits and has it done as an adult.

DS doesn't know what he wants to do but I think it's DP's opposition that's making him hesitate ...

What would you lot suggest? I don't want to steamroller DS into a year and a half of brace-wearing if he really wants to keep his asymetric gnashers but I don't want him to be tearing his hair at 19 wishing he'd got them fixed when he had the chance!

My god, why on earth wouldn't you have it done if it's been recommended??

My DD was referred for braces and we went to the orthodontist dept of the local hospital. On the wall were lots of x-rays and I pointed to one and said that I pitied that person as her front teeth were so protruding. The orthodontist then said "actually, that x ray is your daughter..." I never realised how bad it was till I saw it in x-ray...

You shouldn't hesitate to have it done and as for your DH saying not, well... I'll refrain from saying exactly what I think but what might work for him won't necessarily work for your DS (that's me being polite BTW). I would be telling my DP to shut up and let his DS make the best of himself.

Such a coincidence because I only had a conversation with my DD (who is now in her 20's) yesterday about teeth as she has just found a new Dentist and she said to me how glad she was that I persisted with getting her braces all those years ago, because she loves her teeth, she had them praised by her new dentist and she as yet has not had a filling because she looks after them.

OP it's complete madness to even hesitate over this.

Have you spoken to the dentis with ds and DH to ask about why they are recommending the treatment, what they think the issues are likely to be later in life?

Another adult here wearing a brace at the grand old age of 42 and several thousand pounds poorer. I will make my kids get them done if they need it....!

DH has shit teeth. He never smiles in photos, not even our wedding pics and when he laughs he puts his hand over his mouth. He doesn't like eating in company and flinches if you put a hand near his face.

He refused braces when he was 12.

His teeth now are very twisted, brown and he suffers with bad breath. He's now a dental refuser as well and hasnt been in 9 years.

DSD was recommended braces when she was 11, but turned them down when her grandmother said "oh but a gap between your front teeth means you will come into money - look at Madonna"

It looks like DDs teeth will go the same way, plus she managed to smash her front teeth in a fall and one has visibly moved. If she is recommended braces she WILL have them even if I have to knock her out and tie her to the dentists chair.

At 13 yo I would be letting him decide tbh although I would be gently encouraging him to have them.

I only have two teeth that are slightly crooked at the bottom and they cause me enough hell to wish I'd got a brace as a child. I did ask for a brace at about 12 but the dentist said they weren't bent enough to warrant one. They cause me a lot of pain and irritation now, constantly bleeding and getting sore. So it's worthwhile getting them for that reason alone IMO, putting cosmetics to one side.

Braces are quite common nowadays anyway, I doubt anyone is mocked for them anymore. Much like glasses really, they're so common it's not something kids think twice about. Braces were actually quite cool when I was a kid, as were arm casts so I also wanted to break my arm... .

But yeah, if DS really is set against it leave him be but I would try and encourage it so they don't cause him issues in future like mine.

They would not offer them for free purely for cosmetic reasons so I would go for it

Please try to persuade you ds to have the brace.

My parents gave me the choice at the same age and I decided against it (because braces weren't cool) and by the time I was 22 totally regretted it. I have shit bottom teeth and really wish I'd been better informed at 13, instead of my parents just letting me say no and leaving it at that.

I can't understand why you wouldn't have them done.

If he qualifies for free treatment his teeth must be quite bad and the treatment is more than cosmetic. The treatment is mildly uncomfortable and inconvenient - but a great number of his friends will also have braces which their parents will have paid large sums for.

Please do it. I wish i had as a kid and there's nothing nicer than a good set of teeth!! 18 months will fly by!

If it has been recommended, I don't understand why your DH doesn't want to go by the professional guidance? I would be pushing for the braces if be honest.

When I was younger, braces were recommended for me but I was too scared of getting bullied. Total stupidity & I wish my parents had talked sense into me!

I'm now getting them done free on NHS at the grand age of 30 due to having DS in Aug. I'm old enough to know that a year of my life is no biggie & it will be so worth it!

For comparison, I asked about the white braces & they would be £1500 - top row only. Still kinda Tempting but the braces will be off before I return to work from maternity leave & Were rennovating next year so I can't justify the money.

Oh also agree re X-Ray showing the true extent - I couldn't believe how crooked my teeth looked in the x-Ray!

I refused braces when I was a teenager, I have very overcrowded teeth on the top and the bottom. To have them fixed now at the age of 39, will cost me £££ not to mention how hard it is now to make sure all the gum disease is cleared up before the braces are fixed!
I never smile properly and always feel embarrassed when meeting new people as. I can see them staring at my teeth when I talk
I really wish my parents had been more insistent when I was younger!

I would let your son decide. I think so many people are now having braces that crooked teeth will really make him stand out as an adult. There are lots of adult patients paying ££££ at the Ortho DD goes to, so personally I would encourage him to have braces now.

Ds1 is about to have brace work as his back teeth don't go together at all. He is 11. It will be done on the NHS as it isn't cosmetic.

If your son is being offered the braces on NHS then the dentist deems the work necessary.

I'd tell DP in no uncertain terms what to do. I'd also march DS to the orthodontist and get them done.

I would just go ahead and do it. I've never met a person who has regretted getting their teeth straightened. But plenty of people who didn't and wished they had!!

I'm afraid if you leave it up to DS he'll say no for fear of hurting his father's feelings rather than because he really doesn't want them. I'd make the decision for him.

Both of my DSs had braces. DS1 had a terrible overbite. DS2 had overlapping front teeth. Although they wanted braces, even if they'd said they didn't care, I would have insisted.

At 13 its up to your DS.

If he decides not too he might be ok with wonky teeth in adult life and that's fine. If its not ok, he'll have to pay thousands to get them fixed.

Tell him what his options are and leave him to make up his own mind.

I can't believe that you are even thinking twice at not getting them, particularly when cost is not a consideration! Your DH's reaction is weird, as is the idea that 13 year olds get a say in these sort of decisions!! The mixed reactions at this thread strike me as very British. I'm from NZ (teenager in the mid 90s) and every kid I know who needed their teeth straightened got it done, there was no shame in it or "my parents think I'm ugly" or being given a choice, they got told they were getting braces & got their teeth sorted.

My parents really struggled financially but my mum made sure she found the money to sort our teeth out, as she has crooked teeth that she's always been self conscious of. Of the 3 of us, mine were the worst - I have a very high arched palate and huge teeth and there were too many of them. My teeth were overcrowded and over lapping - some were growing up in my gums over others. I looked like I had a face full of broken crockery. I needed 6 adult teeth extracted, partial bracing at age 10, a plate between 11 - 13, full bracing for 18 months at age 13, then a plate for another 2 years. I have really good teeth now. It would have been a nightmare to sort them as an adult, and expensive - I don't know how mum managed to find the money to sort it but I am really grateful that she did.

100% march him to the orthodontist and get it sorted, there is no downside to get his teeth fixed and lots of downside if you don't.

I would.force braces tbh. My dh has the most horrible bent teeth but didn't get braces at 13 because he didn't want them. He now regrets his childish decision as he has constant gum infections as it's ahead to clean his teeth properly and they look awful tbh.

My crooked teeth always bugged the shit out of me when I was a kid. My parents didn't want me to have braces so when I became an adult and earned enough money, I got my own braces.

I don't regret it at all. I actually properly smile in photos now and I feel more confident.

Update ... I had a quiet word with DP when he got in and gave him the edited highlights from the last 5 pages and I heard him chatting with DS a few minutes ago along the lines of you're lucky, in my day you had to pay hundreds or put up with what nature gave you ... See what the orthodontist recommends ... And DS was saying that lots of his mates had braces and they seemed to get on alright, so we seem to be moving in the right direction!

Excellent!

It's a no brainer, have them done. Loads of children will have braces so he won't be the only one and a lovely straight smile is really noticeable and enhances appearance. Leaving teeth can also lead to teeth wearing and problems in later life. I often notice people with bad teeth and wonder why their parents didn't have them done. DD's teeth look pretty good at first glance but her bite isn't perfect and so she will be brace which we are paying for to ensure that her teeth are the best they can be.

I had train tracks, certainly no bullying for me, I used to get requests from others about what colour bands to have put on this is me as love my teeth.
Don't care about other peoples or how they look, but for me gives confidence.
I agree with letting your son decide.

This may not help in the grand scheme of things, but I just want to add my experience of this.

Both my dcs are receiving orthodontic treatment, dd has just had her tracks removed and is using a night time retainer, and ds is about to get full tracks put in.

Both the dcs inherited my dh's shockingly bad teeth & small jaw, which went untreated through choice when he was a teen. Dh has recently become a patient at the Dental School in Edinburgh, where they put the chances of his keeping his teeth past the age of 55 at lower than 30% (he's 48).

There is a plan being developed to save as many teeth as possible, but it will involve dh having his own set of tracks, plus a night time head brace thing, and at the very end of treatment, having his jaw broken and reset to correct a terrible overbite.

When I asked about the cost, I was told that they needed to obtain special permission as it would be very expensive, but he qualified for free treatment as it was so deleterious to his general health. He seriously regrets turning down the chance to get them sorted, and is looking forward to being able to smile in photos at some point soon.

It has actually decided my dd's choice of career - she is now working her way through highers and is set on becoming a dentist, so she can help people like her dad!