Upsetting situation.

[Selinasupreme]

So me and a relative have fallen out over something and usually when this happens I extend the olive branch even if I feel like ive done nothing wrong but I just can't see how this is acceptable.

My relative is pregnant with her first child conceived via IVF and all is well, we are all over the moon she is 8 months pregnant, I very recently conceived a child after my wedding and was told during an early scan that I have probably had a MMC so the prenancy might not progress.

During this time my relative has fallen out with me and told me I got married (to my partner of 5 years and father of my 16mo ds) to overshadow her pregnancy and that I then conceived a child to overshadow her pregnancy and the "misscarriage thing" is another way to get attention off everyone. I don't really like attention and am a very private person but I expected people close to me to be supportive during a hard time for me or at least if they can't be supportive to be civil.

So it gets worse, the day after I had the scan I got a text off this relative saying another close relative was 12 weeks pregnant, everything was a bit raw but I was happy to hear the news, then she text me saying "I was only joking she isn't pregnant really" and then started sending me texts asking what I had been doing to plan her baby shower and wanted to know about the decor as she didn't want it to clash with her Christmas decorations.

Has anyone else ever experienced anything similar to this? I would really appreciate an outsiders perspective.

She said you had a miscarriage deliberately to get attention

The only thing you need to do now is drop her and never see her again

My perspective is that you never speak to her ever again. Case closed.

The only thing you should be doing is cutting her out of your life. She's disgusting. She's making jokes about miscarriage and then has a cheek to ask you what you're planning for her baby shower? Tell her to get stuffed.

I agree with Laurie, what would you get out of staying in touch other than more stupidity?

She is poisonous! Telling you a lie about someone else being pregnant at such a time is disgusting.

what they said

bangs gavel >

So sorry for your mmc your relative sounds bonkers beyond bonkers

I wouldn't reply if I were you she's an arsehole enjoying your misery. Go no contact and enjoy the peace .

Oh Good Lord, she sounds simply horrible.

Don't even THINK of extending an olive branch to her. You are well rid of her from your life. There is NOTHING that she could say that could possibly justify you forgiving her for saying such horrid things.

Unless she apologises and agrees that she was in the wrong, drop her. She sounds like the kind of person you would be better off without.

She sounds like a nasty, selfish bitch and I would want nothing more to do with her. Telling you a relative was pregnant, knowing you are going through a miscarriage just to upset you is beyond words. Awful, just awful.

I agree with everyone, cut her out. If she is this insensitive and cruel just now she will only get worse when she has the baby.

Right now you need to concentrate on yourself, you don't need that shit in your life.

Sod olive branches. You need to tell her never to contact you again. Her behaviour is beyond insensitive and well into malicious territory.

She's a cunt.

Wow, she's a fucking cunt of the highest magnitude. Does she like being the centre of attention per chance? She sounds very momzilla- no one else may marry or conceive in the year I do!

Honestly I'd fucking drop her hard as well. Don't do her baby shower, tell her to do one instead.

Get some bunting made that says "Fuck off". Order to have it delivered to her house, payment on delivery. Never speak to her again.

So sorry about your miscarriage too OP, I hope you are okay, I forgot to say. Her behaviour shocked me that much!

So sorry about the miscarriage, what despicable behaviour, how close a relative is she can you easily cut her out?

Ugh, she's the worst. Tell her so and then drop her.

Oh, and I'm sorry about the MC. I hope I didn't sound too glib in my PP, I really mean it, she sounds like the worst.

You need to cut this poison from your life, seriously.

Very different situation to yours but also fell out with a very close relative after years of putting up with her nastiness. I totally cut her out of my life 3 years ago and have never regretted it. It's been very tough at times with other family members not agreeing but personally i couldn't cope with it anymore.
I am so sorry about your miscarriage and I agree with someone else..she is poisonous. What a terrible unforgivable thing to say to you NC would be my approach.

I actually know someone like this. She thinks everyone does stuff "for attention" rather than, erm, just living their lives.

She won't change. You'll either have to ignore her or minimise contact. Calling her out on it will just feed her drama craving.

In typical mumsnet fashion.. Tell her to fuck off to the far side of fuck and then fuck off some more.
or send me her address and i will come round and give her a good old fashioned cuntpunt.

Please op, look after yourself at this difficult time.

Cut contact, I explanation needed. Sorry, the fact she needed if does not excuse her atrocious and viscous mouth.

Is she a close relative? I just wondered as you said you had fallen out before and you went to great lengths to apologise to this person.

Very sorry to hear about the possible MMC. Pregnancy hormones can do funny things but the way this person is acting is not on. It's cold and heartless. Has she even asked how you are following your scan? I suspect not.

You don't need toxic people like this in your life. Don't feel bad. Tell her to sort her own baby shower out as you have things going on in your own life to deal with.

If it were me, I'd stop answering calls etc and have minimal contact.

Hope you are ok.