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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Upsetting situation.

166 replies

Selinasupreme · 18/11/2014 18:47

So me and a relative have fallen out over something and usually when this happens I extend the olive branch even if I feel like ive done nothing wrong but I just can't see how this is acceptable.

My relative is pregnant with her first child conceived via IVF and all is well, we are all over the moon she is 8 months pregnant, I very recently conceived a child after my wedding and was told during an early scan that I have probably had a MMC so the prenancy might not progress.

During this time my relative has fallen out with me and told me I got married (to my partner of 5 years and father of my 16mo ds) to overshadow her pregnancy and that I then conceived a child to overshadow her pregnancy and the "misscarriage thing" is another way to get attention off everyone. I don't really like attention and am a very private person but I expected people close to me to be supportive during a hard time for me or at least if they can't be supportive to be civil.

So it gets worse, the day after I had the scan I got a text off this relative saying another close relative was 12 weeks pregnant, everything was a bit raw but I was happy to hear the news, then she text me saying "I was only joking she isn't pregnant really" and then started sending me texts asking what I had been doing to plan her baby shower and wanted to know about the decor as she didn't want it to clash with her Christmas decorations.

Has anyone else ever experienced anything similar to this? I would really appreciate an outsiders perspective.

OP posts:
FrequentFlyerRandomDent · 20/11/2014 12:21

Best of luck for tomorrow.

I would recommend being very selective in the news you give her, about tomorrow and in general. Do not feed her mill, so to speak.

A few: "Can't talk, will call later / sorry bad signal / oh dear DS bumped his knee, will call you later" etc and making sure you speak to your DH, nice family members first.

SuperFlyHigh · 20/11/2014 13:21

so sorry for all of this OP.

For what it's worth I wouldn't be bothered about upsetting your DP, I'd just reduce or NC with your DSis. If your DP want to make it into more of an issue then let them.

I have never got this "stealing your thunder" rubbish especially if it isn't done on purpose which often it isn't. I had my SIL say this me once about a friend or her SIL and I just gave her a Confused look.

I hope it all goes well for you tomorrow too.

enviousllama · 20/11/2014 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rhiana1979 · 20/11/2014 19:47

Good luck with your scan

Janethegirl · 20/11/2014 19:53

Good luck tomorrow Flowers

Laura0806 · 21/11/2014 14:49

Hope all went /goes ok OP xxx

Angelwings11 · 21/11/2014 16:49

Hope the scan went well. Thinking of you.

Flowers
Selinasupreme · 21/11/2014 19:06

I had the scan this morning and the baby is measuring 8 weeks at 14mm with a heartbeat. 15 days ago there wasn't even a pole! I still have the hematoma but for now I am so happy and feeling very lucky.

She text my HUSBAND saying "just wanted to wish you luck with the scan" she never talks to him, ever. It's a statement that she still refuses to talk to me but is "big enough" to wish one of us well. Fuck her. Idiot.

Thankyou all for the advice and care it has helped me so much and I hear you all in my head every time I think of her and how she's behaved, I did cry in the scan room because I was so shocked, I still am.

OP posts:
Tinkerball · 21/11/2014 19:08

Im so happy for you!!

fourwoodenchairs · 21/11/2014 19:11

Wow what lovely news!

Madamecastafiore · 21/11/2014 19:11

Thrilled for you.

Cut her off completely now, she sounds like a grade A, drama loving, attention seeking bitch. Just what you don't need when pregnant.

enviousllama · 21/11/2014 19:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Laura0806 · 21/11/2014 19:16

Fab news! congrats!!!

Amy106 · 21/11/2014 19:20

Congratulations!Smile

McFox · 21/11/2014 19:25

Brilliant news!! Smile

Gemzybelle · 21/11/2014 19:25

Been following this thread and I am SO happy for you OP Grin

Tell her to sod off and enjoy your pregnancy Flowers

rollmeover · 21/11/2014 19:33

Congratulations! Wonderful news.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 21/11/2014 19:33

Fab news! Smile So happy for you OP

Oh yeah and fuck her!

CrapBag · 21/11/2014 19:53

Oh that's absolutely fantastic news OP. So happy for you.

Just in case you missed it Wink, yep, your sister is a twat. What a petty and deliberate way to (not) wish you luck. Fuckwit!

ChasedByBees · 21/11/2014 19:56

Fantastic news! I wouldn't tell her. Or indeed anything ever again.

DartmoorDoughnut · 21/11/2014 20:16

Just read this thread and am in shock at how vile she is being and has been, you poor thing Sad am SO happy to read your fantastic news! I wouldn't tell the evil one anything Thanks

PerpendicularVincenzo · 21/11/2014 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Vikingbiker · 21/11/2014 20:30

Where is the heamatoma in relation to the baby? I had one

Angelwings11 · 21/11/2014 20:41

Great news! Keep positive, keep strong because you are worth it! Remember, she will try anything to gain a reaction. Don't react. Just ignore.

Xx

minklundy · 21/11/2014 20:59

Just read the whole thread.
Delighted for you OP. (About the baby not the sister!)

I wonder if when her baby is born she will accuse it of just doing it to take attention away from her.Hmm

There was a good post on the mantras thread about responding with dignity.

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