To hate Santa?

[SilverSilverSilver]

... or at least the idea.

DS voiced how magical it was that every child in the world got presents on Christmas Day.

I told him that didn't happen. I told him that millions of children don't even have clean water to drink, let alone presents. DS is not even 5 but I couldn't let him believe that. It is so disrespectful to those poor children.

Every year I watch this avalanche of horrendous consumerism and my heart breaks for the millions with nothing. Absolutely nothing. I told DS that Saint Nicholas was a man who helped poor children a long time ago and we remember him by giving presents to other people. I told him we need to remember people who can't buy presents and help them get the things they need.

I waited for his heart to break but all he said was "So Santa just means giving presents?" and we made a list of ways to help the children who don't have presents, or food, or clean water, or safe beds.

I may well have ruined his childhood but since vast populations of the world don't even celebrate Christmas, I think he will be alright...

It may not need to be harrowing (although the very idea and word is abhorrent to most) but why do you feel the need to tell a 4 year old anything about it in the first place? Was your 4 year old reading the Jewish chronical and came across the word?
what does a 4 year old possibly gain by that

Silver

What do the dcs father think about your choice, does he agree with you.
Are you going to tell your other 2 the same?
Considering your ds has been living in 2 homes for quite a while will this not upset him more.
I refer to your past threads.

"It doesn't have to be harrowing".

Says it all about the OP's powers of empathy.

I think most people on this thread have echoed my feelings, and quite honestly to sum up--- I think you are a miserable Bitch!

(n.b. for those of you who are unfamiliar with Terry Pratchett, the Hogfather is the Discworld equivalent of Santa and Death speaks in capitals)

“All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

"So we can believe the big ones?"

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

"They're not the same at all!"

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"

MY POINT EXACTLY.”
? Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

FGS He is a 5 years old child who doesn't need to know all that heavy shit. Let him be an innocent child

I think you sound a right misery.

if someone told my four year old that, I'd be fuming.
let's hope your little boy doesn't ruin all his friends Christmas like you've spoiled his.

He is 4

I started reading a book called Simplicity Parenting recently. Not very far in, but the author, who has worked in Rwanda etc, said he was also seeing symptoms of PTSD in young children back in the US because they were told too much about war, famine, injustice, etc. My 6 yo has never heard of ebola, the Holocaust, terrorism, etc; it's never occurred to me to tell her.

I think your explanation for an older child would be fine but a four year old, not so much. Believing in fairytales etc is a memorable part of childhood. They grow up fast enough. Sorry op but I think yabu

Lol at someone saying concepts YOU believe in about children starving in the world. its a verifiable fact that people starve in the world, hardly depends on your outlook. I don't get all the obsessive Santa crap tbh, sometimes you wonder if its more about the parents clinging on to their babies than for the kids benefit. I remember my parents practically forcing me to continue the Santa ritual way past me knowing it was illogical, pretty odd tbh. but then I'm a cynical miserable bastard. with my dd its basically mentioned a few times in a casual way eg put it on your Santa list, put a stocking out, but she's never shown much interest and she's primary school age, she's more interested in presents and food. Santa isn't the be all and end all of Christmas!

That is true.. But if she ran in all excited gushing 'about magical christmas' would you feel the need to say he does not exist some children get nothing as they don't even have enough water to drink . Or would you just shrug and play along knowing that they will lose interest and grow out of it anyway

Plenty of children at 4 understand that some people in the world don't have enough food to eat, i don't think it would connect or register that these people may not get a visit from Santa, so why make an issue of it by pointing it out

I have thought similar things to you and felt hypocritical at times but at the same time how will it help those children in any way to have told your 4 year that 'santa' isn't real?

It may also be slightly confusing/embarrassing if the 4yo picks up the message that some people don't get presents because they are too poor and applies it to everyone he meets who doesn't celebrate Christmas with presents.

It is exactly the sort of situation with will lead to him announcing loudly that Sam from school who happens to be a Jehovah's Witness is very, very poor.

Surely it would be sensible to tell him that there are lots of reasons why children don't get a visit from Santa.

To me the most unsavoury thing on this thread is the idea of telling kids that parents give money to Santa, which turns him into some kind of Amazon Prime gift buying service.

If kids are old enough to ask about why they get an ipad and kids in orphanages get nothing, they're ready to understand that Santa is a fairy tale which they can choose to play along with for fun.

But then, I think when kids are old enough to notice that God sends them a nice warm house and loving parents and sends Ebola to some poor kids in Africa, they're old enough to know that God is either a fairy tale or a sadistic asshole.

Christ you sound fun.

Also re teaching a four year old about the Holocaust in a "non-harrowing way"... The Holocaust was by it's nature harrowing.

He is 4 years old.

I'm all for educating children, I read Anne Frank's diary when I was a 9. But at 4? They're still so tiny. Why not let him have a childhood?

Have been reading with raised eyebrows but fuming at the 'didn't realise others were so sheltered' comment.

I'm sure everyone commenting is just as up to date with the horrors of the world OP and probably do what they can without crowing about it.

We just don't see the need to make a 4 year old miserable because other children in the world are miserable.

Merry Christmas.

Poor child, why would anybody teach a four year old about the holocaust. He's a child, his main worry should be what's for tea or where he put his favourite car.

As for Santa, let's hope he doesn't go to school telling people he's not real anotherwise you'll make a lot of enemies on the playground.

I laughed at the "I didn't realise others were so sheltered" comment. Oooh snipey!

OP is obviously jolly pleased with herself, and thinks she's raising the most socially aware kid in the county, as a reflection of how right thinking she reckons she is.
It's just an exercise in vanity really - why else would a 4 yr old need to know about the holocaust, religious intolerance and terrorism?
She's feeding her own ego through all this, and patting herself on the back.
Whatever.

I think what is grating with a lot of people is that you seem very sanctimonious about it.

I'm actually beginning to wonder whether it's true or whether you've said it for effect I'm afraid. I can't quite believe anyone would do this in response to your little boy's comment which was so full of magic and wonder.