To hate Santa?

[SilverSilverSilver]

... or at least the idea.

DS voiced how magical it was that every child in the world got presents on Christmas Day.

I told him that didn't happen. I told him that millions of children don't even have clean water to drink, let alone presents. DS is not even 5 but I couldn't let him believe that. It is so disrespectful to those poor children.

Every year I watch this avalanche of horrendous consumerism and my heart breaks for the millions with nothing. Absolutely nothing. I told DS that Saint Nicholas was a man who helped poor children a long time ago and we remember him by giving presents to other people. I told him we need to remember people who can't buy presents and help them get the things they need.

I waited for his heart to break but all he said was "So Santa just means giving presents?" and we made a list of ways to help the children who don't have presents, or food, or clean water, or safe beds.

I may well have ruined his childhood but since vast populations of the world don't even celebrate Christmas, I think he will be alright...

Sounds like your problems are more centred around your mum and you are maybe going too far the other way.

You can care about the world (donating pocket money, making not buying cards and wrap, choosing a present for a less fortunate child, donating old toys to make room for new) AND celebrate the magic of Christmas. The excitement of writing a list to Santa, of seeing the bite in the mince pie on Christmas Day, of special Christmas Eve rituals. None of that needs to be about rampant consumerism or envy.

And there is a middle ground for naughty and nice children. Could explain that even nice children do naughty things, but that Santa sees what is in their heart and mummy and daddy will tell him that he is nice if they need to.

I thought I was telling him the truth bit by bit!

Yes he knows about the Holocaust, about Ebola, about feminism, about injustice, about religious intolerance, terrorism. Not in terrifying detail, but in factual, none-dramatic ways.

And sadly he has a very good grasp of what death is.

But he also knows how safe he is and how loved (by me anyway) and he knows his daily life is secure.

You can still do Santa and its actually a great opportunity to talk about giving and sharing. Take your child to the shop and involve him in buying gifts for children reliant on local charity or have a fundraising event for a charity that is close to your heart and involve the child. Make it fun without bursting bubbles.

Plenty of us hate the consumerism of christmas but you still tread softly on a child's dreams.

How nicely put. I so agree.

Christmas can be so, so magical. For me it brings back the magic of being a child, without fear and care, without the problems and weights on the shoulders which comes with being an adult.

Don't take that away from him. He is only 4. He has a lifetime of fear and knowing ahead of him. The window for being carefree and believing in magic is so tiny.

Gosh OP. You sound very...err...earnest.

Children of that age simply cant comprehend the suffering of abject poverty, civil war and famine.

By introducing them to these things early won't make them more empathectic. t won't help them understand concepts which are far too complex and ugly for them.

Even children actually suffering them don't fully comprehend.

Not just any bubble but the most special bubble of all.

Really?

Yes he knows about the Holocaust, about Ebola, about feminism, about injustice, about religious intolerance, terrorism. Not in terrifying detail, but in factual, none-dramatic ways.

That is appalling and bordering on horrendous! At 4 !! What the hell burdens will he be carrying by the time he is 11?

I'm finding this thread rather distressing. The world is such a harsh, cruel place. I struggle to watch the news. A 4 year old doesn't need to know abut the suffering of others yet.

No four year old needs to know anything apart from cuddles, love, security, tasty food kindness, sharing and warmth.

I know my dc would never have forgiven me.
I also hope you are teaching him not to "ruin the childhood" of his peers when he starts school.
Are you not worried how he will handle it at school and have you considered his mh being brought up with doom and gloom.
Yes, of course we should teach them about war and famine and disease, but you need some perspective.

sorry, I genuinely do feel for you but your pushing your own agenda on a four year old boy. Not fair at all. Poor little sod.

at he knows about the Holocaust and terrorism...HES FOUR FFS

Bloody hell. I'd hate to have you as a friend, OP. When your 4yo DS puts his arms round you and tells you he loves you, do you tell him you're going to die one day?

I will do my best to keep magic and the power of imagination in my children's hearts forever. Sometimes belief is the only way to get through tough times.

That doesn't mean my children don't know about children less fortunate. They know about food banks and have helped me buy & pack donations. They've selected outgrown toys and clothes to pass on to children in refuges. They understand that the world's not fair. However, I hope that I am teaching them that the way to make it fairer is to share what we have - not take away from everyone. My 5yo asked if FC would visit a particular child in a refuge we'd been gathering bits for; I said I didn't know if the little boy had a stocking. DD gave me her pocket money and asked me to buy him a stocking (I have, and filled it but she doesn't know that last bit). I really don't feel that taking the magic away from my DC would improve the lives of less fortunate children.

What I do know is that having an imagination and a social conscience are not mutually exclusive.

Am I the only one to think this thread by the OP is a little.........odd? Am I right to think about 'calling it'?

Omfg. You taught him about the holocaust in a factual way??? Are you freggin kidding me?!? And how gas this benefited a 4 year old exactly???!!!
Why are you so determined to shorten childhood in this way. Why do you feel a 4 year old should be told about things that they cannot possibly comprehend?

What I do know is that having an imagination and a social conscience are not mutually exclusive.

Absolutely.

Alright well I very much appreciate the feedback. It is interesting to see how emotive the subject it. I don't think I really grasped how important Santa was to other people, it has always been so negative to me.

I am quite shocked how sheltered others were really, I had no idea.

I hope you all have a very nice Christmas anyway (honestly!), and I can promise it will be lovely for DS however he interprets it.

Incidentally there is nothing at all non dramatic about terrorism, Ebola and the Holocaust. Their very centre is drama.

I really hope this isn't true

chimes I really really hope so :( sad thread.

And fyi 'telling him the truth bit by bit' at 4 should have went as far as sometimes people do bad things to each other and that is not fair. Just like some children can be bullies so can some adults. But most people are good and kind and try to help others.

re. Holocaust: "A lot of people were treated awfully because of their beliefs, their families, their appearance etc."

It doesn't have to be harrowing. Anyway, goodnight.

Happy Christmas Silver, thanks for sharing x