To leave ds to scream in his cot tonight...

[listsandbudgets]

because I can't manage to deal with him tonight.

He's 2+4. EVERY NIGHT of his life he's screamed endlessly at bedtime. We tried going to him, lying down with him in the dark, cosleeping singing to him, letting him come downstairs, cuddling him, ignoring him, sitting holding his hand, seen GP and had various cchecks carried out to make sure he's not in some kind of pain...

but still he screams endlessly "MAMA,MAMA, MAMA, MAMA, MAMA...

Over and over again.

We finally get him off to sleep about an hour - two hours after putting him to bed (I say we its normally me as dp works away Monday to Thursday and someetimes longer).

He then wakes at 3am and it all happens again until about 4.30-5am.

Its affecting my mental health. I keep losing my temper, keep bursting into tears for no reason, I can't function properly at work and I'm facing a disciplinary for mistakes, I feel like everyone hates me and I wouldn't blame them

I've not had a full nights sleep since 3 months before he was born.

I can 't do it any more. I just can't do it....

AIBU to sleep in teh spare room with a pillow over my head and let him scream?

You'll all flame me I know you'll flame me and I deserve it.

He's still screaming I put him to bed at 8pm and I've already been in and given him 2 X10 minute cuddles

What is your daytime routine like? How much playtime/outside time does he get? What happens in the 1hour before he goes to bed?

Not going to flame you, sleep deprivation is awful but please don't let him cry. He is trying to communicate

I don't know what the solution is for the OP but looking for one doesn't necessitate spouting rubbish about co-sleeping. Children who co-sleep do not grow into adults who are unable to fall asleep alone nor are co-sleeping cultures plagued by adults with sleep disorders. As for the suggestion that of you co-sleep you give up on sex, what a load of twaddle. DH and I have slept is separate bedrooms for years now (either because of his snoring or later for co-sleeping) and we're perfectly capable f being intimate at other times.

OP I prefer co-sleeping to CC but that's my parenting choice. If you think CC might help try it our properly, if you can live with co-sleeping keep doing that.

Your spouse comes first, then your children

Man alive, have I wandered into the 1850's by mistake?

gosh and somehow even though we coslept with one of our children we managed to stay married for twenty years. It must be a freaking miracle!

bulbasaur what a ridiculous comment. Lots of relationships are stronger for the rest and general positivity cosleeping can bring.
Personally my DP and DS are equal in my eyes but at this stage in his life my DS needs more of my time and attention and my DP is an understanding father and realises that DS's needs sometimes come first.

Intimacy doesn't need to be restricted to the bedroom.

Arguing about co sleeping isn't going to help the OP.

She's said it doesn't work.

Right hes in his cot. Im visiting him at intervals which increase by 2 minutes each time. No talking just lying him down and tucking him in again and leaving. Next visit due at 8.36 as we are now up to 14 minutes.

Hes still screaming.

Thank you all for your support and help. I was in a desperate state last night. Just having a strategy is helping me tonight

Good luck OP. stick with it and he will get the idea of it. Probably take a few nights. Do you have a partner who can take turns?

I was reading your thread last night but didn't comment. I really feel for you, it sounds horrendous. Am willing you on from behind my computer screen! Stand firm and good luck.

Been there.... Doing as you are now. And I also had to do it in the middle of the night when DD woke again.

Stay strong. It does work. It takes time.

Op I'm sending you good vibes. I've been there and can remember the bone grinding tiredness.
You can crack this

Thinking of you

Hes just had his 8.48 visit. Next is at 9.06. He's not happy. Everytiime I go in he screams "mummy cuddle downstairs, downstairs, downstairs". I'm not giving in tonight. I'm determined to win this battle.

DP is not back until Friday this week. Someone asked up thread where he was - he works away most of the week.

DS goes to nursery. I spoke to them today and discovered he's taking a 2 hour plus nap during the day. I've asked them if they can wake him up after an hour tomorrow to see if that helps later on. Getting him into bed before 8 is hard as its sometimes 6 before I manage to get him from nursery then we have to get home by bus , play with him, feed him, bath him, read stories.

I've tried a solid 2 weeks of putting him to bed earlier and it made no difference it just prolonged the agony as he just screamed for the extra hour :(

he's now throwing things out of his cot I can hear them thumping on the floor (think its his milk cup)

We used a fantastic sleep consultant - Ann from nurturing sleep. She is absolutely amazing.

Just hang on in there Op. Consistency is the key with this.

Its gone quiet. Surely he's not gone to sleep? Will wait until 9.06 and creep up to see.

Hang on, you can do this and remember that its incredibly important for him to get quality and quantity of sleep.
He needs to sleep through as much as you do.

No don't go in

He will be fine. Don't disturb him.incase he's still awake

And he's started again oh well

He's just giving it another go. It's another attempt to get what he WANTS not what he needs.
Stay strong.

This is where a camera monitor will be your friend. I still have one for my three year old. But I do sleep on the third floor and she is on the second, but it's useful to check on them without disturbing them.

Good luck, I hope you all get a good nights sleep

Oh no, I've just seen your update. Keep going, you can crack it. He did calm down for a short while, so it's possible he will again

Went in gave him kiss lied him down left without saying a word. In and out in less than 20 seconds. Up to 20 minute interval so next visit 9.26

Sorry I know this is very boring but is helping me focus and its helpful to have time of next visit written down

Keep going!
If he had gone quiet once he will do it again
I can't imagine how hard it is in your own but it will be worth it for you both once he had cracked bed time

Exactly the same situation that we were in several years ago. So sleep deprived that lamposts would appear to bend as I drove past them! Leave him to cry it out. Hard I know, but he is plenty old enough and actually I felt quite liberated once we had decided that that is what we would do. Six days in went down without a squeak. Several years down the line he is my best sleeper. You will get there.