AIBU to say something or not?

[VitoCorleone]

My mother has told me she wont be watching my kids anymore for me, because she's 'not well enough' she 'has a bad back'

She's the only person that we have, nobody else to help us if we get stuck.

Anyway, she's at my house every day, absolutely fine, she's just told me she's going on a shopping trip tomorrow, so obviously her back isn't that bad, the fact of the matter is she just cant be arsed actually doing anything for anyone else - but she'll happily come here and drink endless cups of tea every day. I'm actually fuming.

DP has always said she's lazy and selfish and i agree. I'm struggling to bite my tounge here. AIBU?

YABU

^ was just about to ask the same

YABU I'm almost the same age as your mum, I have 4 adult dc and dd aged 11. I don't have any grandchildren yet. I have loved raising my dc but when the time comes I won't be looking after my grandchildren because I feel I have done my share and now want time for myself. Maybe your mum feels the same. My parents and in laws were much the same, loved to visit and loved us to visit them would happily play with and talk to our dc but all looking after was done by dh and myself.

Wow op you sound incredibly entitled and spoilt. YOU chose to have your children, your mother didn't. If she doesn't want to look after them then thats her choice. Grow up and suck it up.

If you need Childcare, pay for it.

Yabvu, if you don't want to spend time with her then tell her it's not convenient.

I manage fine without anyone else to look after my dc, it's so not impossible or worth falling out about.

If she watches your dc and you don't do any favours for her then no wonder she's not doing it any more. Meanwhile you don't need to help her out if she's not bothered about helping you.

Don't sound like a stroppy spoilt 6 year old.

Your mother doesn't owe you anything in terms of childcare - she's done her time.

She doesn't have to have yiur dcs but then again you don't have to give her tea!

She should be honest if she just doesn't want to do it though

Take your kids with you to the doctors/dentist. Count yourself lucky op...my mother died when I was a child and so never even met my children.

Me asking somebody else was a one off, a family member visiting and she watched the kids for an hour while i popped out.

To be honest my 2 year old is too much hard work to take anywhere but he's fine at home which is why i ask her, he just sits next to her and watches cartoons.

My mother doesn't work, she doesn't do housework either my stepdad does it, he does everything in the house because she's too lazy and would rather sit and watch telly all day. Its not like I'm dragging her away from anything, she's always at my house anyway!

A family member came to visit you and you popped out for an hour leaving your dc with them?!

To be honest my 2 year old is too much hard work to take anywhere

So you can't you take him anywhere at all? Shopping?! Park?!

So she's given you unpaid for childcare for a few years and suddenly it's being withdrawn due to ill health?

You do realise most a lot of people pay for childcare don't you? and don't have any relatives able to do childcare.

hang on a sec - you're calling your own mother lazy and judging her for sitting at your house all day? I know if I thought that or said that wouldn't dare about my mother I'd be quite rightly flamed to an inferno. And I wouldn't dare think it.

The relative offered to watch the kids for an hour so me and DP could go run an errand, because that family member knew we needed help and that's what family does. There's nothing to be gobsmacked about.

I think people feel like I'm 'putting on my mam' or summat, bur asking her to watch the kids for about an hour once a month (if that) is hardly taking the piss

She is lazy, its not an opinion its a fucking fact, she's probably admit it herself that she's lazy so 'flame me into an inferno' all you like, you cant change the truth

I'm not gobsmacked OP I just wouldn't assume anything from my DM re watching my kids for an hour or so.

what would you do if your DM wasn't around (deceased) to watch them anymore??

Oh OP now jumping on someone... I was brought up to have respect for my mother... someone obviously doesn't have that, LOL. and on that note I'm out!

Op...can you take your 2 year old out at all?! I'm confused! I have always taken my DC with me when I have had to run errands...it's called being a parent... It's bloody inconvenient at times!

Well it seems like you have inherited your mothers laziness if you can't be arsed to take your own dc to the dr with you.

If she wants to be lazy she can. I know it's infuriating but it's her right.

I do help my DC with their children quite a lot, but that's my choice. I had no help with my DC as my mother died before I had them and I don't live near family.

And if your 2 year-old is hard work, maybe that's why.

However, if she's always at your house, have you actually spoken to her about it?

Meh my mums the same, never watches my ds. She's a young nan too. Never been maternal or bothered by kids though