To ask visitors to take their shoes off before coming into my home?

[moomin35]

Including my MIL who clearly didn't appreciate being asked!

No emotions, neither do I have lots of spare cash to replace the carpets. Hence we're a shoes off house but I say in a very British way when guests ask if they should take off their shoes, "no no you're fine don't worry." whilst secretly praying that they take off their shoes.

Genuinely interested by this thread, I never realised that some people think it's rude not to wear shoes indoors. Wondering now how many people I've inadvertently offended .
I wonder why the big difference in the two camps, is it generational at all? Most of my contempories fall into the "no shoe" camp, whereas, thinking about it, my elderly relatives tend to wear shoes indoors.

We live rurally and our drive is a quagmire that we can't afford to fix so it's entirely possible to track dirt in from a short distance. At our last place, an un identified neighbour used to let their dog crap in the courtyard outside on a regular basis . Again, didn't help my obsessive dog poo fear!

I do not express a preference to people entering my house,if the shoes come off we exit the gun room through one door if they stay on it is the other door.

I do not think expressing a preference is common but I do think assuming it is gives rather a good indication that you are not as classy as you think you are.

Are your guests really the cause of that much dirt, damage and wear and tear on your carpets?

I'm a lost cause on this thread though, I'd neither ask nor expect guests to remove their shoes, nor do my friends in their houses, and I even sometimes go outside wearing slippers.

I think ipsos mori should carry out a poll to let us know the demographic breakdown of shoes on/shoes off groups. I don't think it's generational, my friends are all on their 30's and none of them have a shoes off policy.

I agree with Apocalypse, I don't mind what people do as long as they are relaxed.

Mainly we are a shoes on house, but I remember a friend asking if she should take her shoes off and I gave a breezy "no, no, don't worry about that" and her face contorted and started to twitch as she crossed the threshold, in the end she took them off.

A lot of people around here take them off, as do my in-laws. Generally I thought it was possibly children's shoes and definitely wellies off, everything else perhaps gets a wipe on the doormat and stays on.

I do feel a bit awkward and infantile padding around in my socks if I'm at the house of someone I don't know very well.

Its nigh on impossible to come into my house without bringing in chicken poo.
Granted,the dig will eat it off the floor,but I think its nicest to take shoes off.

It's not rude to ask. It's your home. Why would you want mud/rain water all over your home ?!

How is it rude ? If guests want slippers they can have them in my home. I have spares.

I though Hyacinth Bucket was supposed to be a joke in how she made people feel so uncomfortable- it seems she is the norm!

The dog will eat it off the floor.Not the dig.Clearly...

I don't mind taking my shoes off , but don't offer me spare slippers- that really is dire!

Snort at common.
They are my carpets and no I don't have a spare thousand quid to keep replacing them.

You don't have to wear them mehit. That's why I offer not insist.

In fact the only one who does is my mum. They are in effect her slippers now.

Yanbu - I think people are ridiculous to not want to do it - do people only feel at ease in shoes?

Have some visitor slippers (or indoor flats that don't go out the house ) in mil's size so she doesn't have to (shock horror) go in her stockinged feet.

Yanbu, my house is a no shoes in the rooms we have carpets which is the living room, stairs and all of upstairs( not the bathrooms) most people usually take their shoes off at the front door anyway.

Ooh maddening you can't offer slippers

We've just moved and paid a Hell of a lot of money for new carpets, so either take your shoes off or don't come in.

(workmen or anyone with shoes that are hard to take off - FIL wears workboots that take an age to undo / lace up - can have show protectors)

It's not precious, but while the carpet is brand new - and I am talking days old - then I am not going to have people walking their wet / muddy shoes over it.

shoe protectors

Don't even offer slippers.

I find most who visit automatically slip off their shoes when they visit so it must be more usual these days. I never expect it and for me it wasn't the norm growing up. However I tend to take mine off now or ask when I visit someone. Children tend to always take shoes off mine included nut then they do seem to attract mud!

I'm and at so many people who put so much thought into this. Are you really so insecure that not wearing shoes at your best friends house makes you feel inferior or unwelcome.

Serious issues. Most people know their friends well enough to not give a shit and have some respect for their property.

May I ask why slippers are such a no no to offer ?

And do people seriously measure the quality of friendship/love on how dirty your allowed to make someones carpets.?

Waaaaay to much time.on your hands.

If you're really that bothered, provide shoe covers.

And yes, you are prioritizing carpets over guest comfort.

As for it being done to death on here.......so have a million other things.

I'd happily go barefoot or be-socked if asked to take my shoes off. But I'd definitely avoid wearing some random slippers offered to me. God knows whose sweaty feet they'd previously housed.