To ask visitors to take their shoes off before coming into my home?

[moomin35]

Including my MIL who clearly didn't appreciate being asked!

We all take our shoes off at the door. Most people I know do the same - I'm struggling to think of anyone I know who keeps their shoes on in the house.

But I wouldn't ask anyone to remove their shoes at my door.

People usually ask if they should take their shoes off. I always tell them they don't have to, they usually take them off anyway.

If it's your house, you have to try and be a good host, and make your guest feel comfortable - that includes not dictating their footwear.

Of course a guest should also try to be considerate towards their host - and that would include not tramping mud all over their floor. But ultimately it is up to the guest what clothing they choose to wear in someone else's house.

In Kosovo everyone takes their shoes off before entering the house and there is a supply of soft slippers for guests by the door. I thought this was eminently sensible, but whilst DH was perfectly happy to do it over there he still wears his horrid trainers in the house at home.

Yanbu. My house is shoes off. I have cream carpets and white tiles. I like them to stay that way.

YANBU so long as your house is spotlessly clean and warm. Has anyone already linked to the thread where someone went into a shoes off house and then trod on a damp patch on the carpet that turned out to be cat/dog piss and got an infection in her foot?

We take our shoes off in the house because I prefer to be unshod, I never make guests do so. But if I did I would consider it only appropriate if I kept a selection of clean attractive slippers for guests to use if they prefer not to go around in just socks/bare feet.

I live in London and have been to houses of people from loads of different backgrounds - South American, European, Eastern European, Asian and every single one of them expects shoes off, as do I.

I prefer that people take them off a we have cream carpets and a toddler who still likes to pick things up off the floor and put them in her mouth. I always stop and take mine off at the door, and people see all the shoes by the door when they come in. If they ask I'd say we normally take them off, but wouldn't ask them myself.

The only people I have felt comfortable enough to ask were my parents and my dad said no.

Everyone takes their shoes off in my one bed flat so takes less time to clean than a house. Yanbu. Your house your rules.

Last year I would have said YABU.

However now I've moved into my new house with cream gloss tiles and beautiful cream carpet its shoes off for everyone who sets foot in my house.

Outside - mud, poo, etc.
Inside - clean.

I expect shoes off and always take mine off. I come from a culture where this is the norm but notice a lot of white westerners do this too now.

I also have house clothes but don't expect people to change when they arrive perhaps I should have those white protective suits ready for them when they arrive

I live in London and have been to houses of people from loads of different backgrounds - South American, European, Eastern European, Asian ...

Yes, we don't have any foreigners outside London. You're terribly cosmopolitan.

well, as long as you've got underfloor heating and absolutely no floor draughts at all, YANBU. I've been in a strict shoes-off house and it was freezing and miserable and I spent the entire time wanting to leave.

If you want to have guests and you want them to feel welcome, comfortable and relaxed in your home, as your guests, then perhaps take that into consideration when decorating your home. (If you're renting and your LL has been dimwit enough to put pale carpets in, then that's a different matter, of course.)

Sorry I didn't mean to come across or pompous or anything like that!

Just sharing my experience.

Yanbu - everyone has to take their shoes off in my house since I had my carpet laid as fed up with wooden floors and having to wear something on my feet in my own home as wooden floors are always so cold and hard.

The only people I never ask to take off their boots are workmen who come round as that would just be weird although their boots would be the ones most likely covered in muck.
The good thing for me is my DC are always telling people they have to take their shoes off before I have a chance.
If I'm having a gathering then I won't ask people to take off their shoes but I will if it's a friend or 2 over for coffee etc.

I suspect your MIL was asking you to "check them for mud" because she knew perfectly well there was none, and to demonstrate that she thinks you are being unreasonable...

For the shoes off/cream carpet brigade--would you enforce the shoes off even when hosting a dinner or cocktail party (or any other social gathering, actually.

I'm trying to visualise this.

Tbh though in the area I live we seem to automatically take our shoes off when visiting friends and leave them in the hall during the day, not so much in the evening.

LOL Jeanne. I don't live I London and whilst I may have met the occasional "South American, European, Eastern European, Asian ..." I could count the number of time I've been in their households on one hand. It was a perfectly reasonable thing to say.

I once had a delivery driver tell me he couldn't take the bed he was delivering upstairs because he had dirty shoes

YANBU as it's your house after all but is is kind of saying "your comfort isn't of that much importance to me" which I think is an odd message to give to guests.

YABU because this conversation has been done to DEATH on here.

Prioritising your carpets above your guests' comfort is what you are doing. And many people think that's rude.

YABU - it's rude.

x-posted!

I don't think it's unreasonable at all.

People should bear other people's houses in mind when they visit and bring slippers if they are uncomfortable in bare feet.

By the way I always take my shoes off in other people's houses automatically because it has been drummed into me that is expected and also because I prefer to be barefoot. I just would never ask anyone else to.

Yanbu. I think it's rude to rock up at someone's house and not take shoes off. Shows a lack of care and respect for a person and their house.

Also shows your not planning stopping like your always ready to leg it at the first opportunity.