To ask visitors to take their shoes off before coming into my home?

[moomin35]

Including my MIL who clearly didn't appreciate being asked!

Some of the people on this thread make it sound like a full blown jungle expedition is undertaken to reach their cream carpeted residences.

Repulsed by shoes on a carpet??? I'd be repulsed by being handed a pair of slippers when I didn't know whose feet had been in them before mine.

control, I really like the Japanese way too, although it takes a bit of getting used to remembering all the different pairs of slippers!

I also wondered about different circles, in a slightly different way –do all those who say they're 'freezing' if made to take off their shoes visit people who live in castles with the wind howling through them?

YANBU. Your house, you get to decide.

However I strongly take issue with 'I think it's rude to rock up at someone's house and not take shoes off'. If you 'rocked' up to my house and blithely took your shoes off upon entering I'd politely ask you to put your trotters back in your shoes thank you very much. I'd find it extremely rude if someone assumed it was okay for them to take their shoes of without asking me if it was okay first.

No no no, YABU, it's so rude.

It's fine but please don't ask people to wear communal slippers [yuk] .

In my 36 years on this planet I can only once remember visiting a house where they had a shoes off policy. I often wonder where the anti shoe brigade live.

Oh gawd, this crops up every now & again on MN & never gets a clear conclusion. Maybe it's how you're brought up.

Ours is a definite shoes OFF house. I don't care if people think it's rude - I think it's rude not to remove outdoor shoes without being asked.

We live in Devon and I can't remember a house where people keep their shoes on - everyone but everyone removes shoes at the door. At house parties there is a heap of shoes by the door and people are in their stockinged feet/socks.

But my ILs live in London and keep their outdoor shoes on, even upstairs. They put their feet on the sofa. I don't understand it . If they want to come into our house they must take their shoes off!

I can only walk with shoes on, because of a neurological illness. I put my trainers on as I get dressed in the morning before coming downstairs so I don't fall.

I'm kind of hoping I'd be exempt from taking my shoes off?

I clearly remember the first time I went to a friend's house (as a child) where there was a shoes off policy. She thought I was rude but it had never occurred to me. All my relations had shoes on in the house, in fact I clearly remember my DGM telling DGD off for slipping his feet out of his shoes when visiting our house.

When I complained to my mum for not teaching me that I should remove shoes, she told me that it was common to take your shoes off in someone else's house

Whilst that might not quite be true today, I do think you basic split on this comes from where your GPs were in the social order IYSWIM i.e what they thought was "right" and how that was passed on to you.

I live in a country where you're expected to take your shoes off. I thought I'd give it a go, when in Rome and all that. Broke my toe within a week and now they stay on.

YANBU, I thought everyone did! This thread has shocked me!

Apart from being cold, lots of people have feet they don't want to display.

if it's cold, shouldn't you be wearing socks?

We have cream carpets and take our own shoes off except when we have visitors. Visitors are not asked to take shoes off and I wear shoes if we have visitors as it looks very untidy to be slopping about in socks or slippers. I would consider it very rude to be asked to take shoes off.

I never understand why people get worked up about being asked to take them off.

We have a shoes off house. I also don't get why people object.

I basically think it's personal taste. I don't want someone with their disgusting possibly poo/mud stained shoes in my house. I'll comply with your rules when I am in yours.

I think it was shoes-on in our house when I was a child, and in my family's houses we are common as muck.

I can't remember the situation at friends' houses, or if there was a point when I went from being shoes-on to shoes-off, but I can no longer imagine wearing shoes in the house. Especially if I was going to put my feet on the sofa.

And this: if it's cold, shouldn't you be wearing socks?

it looks very untidy to be slopping about in socks or slippers.

Just about all my friends are shoes-off in their houses and I'd never consider them 'untidy' or 'slopping about'. I jolly well hope they don't think that of me either.

it looks very untidy to be slopping about in socks or slippers.

Just about all my friends are shoes-off in their houses and I'd never consider them 'untidy' or 'slopping about'. I jolly well hope they don't think that of me either.

Sorry for double post.

I struggle with that too higgle. We are shoes off at home but I don't ask/expect it of visitors - whatever's best for them.

But, I don't know what to do when we have people round, especially if it's an occasion when you've made a bit of a effort. Slippers with a nice frock looks stupid but putting shoes on if you're not going out seems odd too.

If I am expected to remove my shoes, I don't visit them. Their loss.

I think it's up to the host to prioritise their guest's comfort and up to the guest to go along with the house rules. Being flexible hopefully results in both parties being happy.

If you really want to take your shoes off in my house, that's fine, just keep in mind that some homeowners don't want people padding around in their socks or bare feet so maybe check first.

just socks don't keep my feet warm, though - I can be in my mum's carpeted house, in warm socks, and my feet are still cold. Unless I'm in slippers or shoes, or it's summer, my feet are cold. They just are.

I used to be quite hardy, you know - don't think I owned a pair of slippers till I was 30. Luckily DH is as feeble as me, and we have cats, so the whole things seems a bit pointless. And our house is bitter, bitter I tell you, I would be embarrassed to expect anyone to be shoeless.

Yes YABU, I wouldn't dream of asking them to remove them unless they were caked in mud. Guest's comfort comes first and carpets can be cleaned. Most people just do it anyway so it isn't really an issue, I do it in other people's houses.

river don't get hysterical!

I've never once asked her to do it. I bought her slippers but she won't wear them. She would rather look like an arse crawlng across the carpet. It doesn't bother me.

I think it's incredulously selfish when people don't take their shoes off. My dd spends most of her life crawlng about on the carpet - would they expect to walk all over her bedding?

I currently have a grey spot where FIL stands at the door way in his work boots because he would rather stand there than take them off. Why should my carpet get knackard because of other people. Unless they are willing to pay for a cleaning then they take them off or don't bother coming in.

This is so weird isn't it - I don't think I know anyone who doesn't have a "shoes off" policy.

I wouldn't dream of keeping my shoes in in anybodys house and I can't recall anyone getting sniffy with me about it in mine.

I suppose if everyone in your circle does it you just assume it is the norm. This thread has been a real eye opener that for some people everyone they know is "shoes on."