To ask visitors to take their shoes off before coming into my home?

[moomin35]

Including my MIL who clearly didn't appreciate being asked!

Personally we are a shoes off house.

I never understand why people get worked up about being asked to take them off. People say it's impolite to ask guests to remove shoes. Well, I think it's impolite of a guest to keep them or (or worse, refuse/make a fuss when asked).

We've had a dark, Wilton carpet for 35 years (shades of brown, dark red, gold mixture). I'm planning to change and have a creamy beige carpet throughout to make the place look lighter and bigger and I've been thinking about shoes on or off indoors. As some posters have said, one dresses up in an outfit with co-ordinating shoes and looks ridiculous without the shoes and much shorter.

The older carpet, room by room, will be freecycled.

As some posters have said, one dresses up in an outfit with co-ordinating shoes and looks ridiculous without the shoes and much shorter.

Exactly! I'm reminded of that SATC episode where Carrie ponders "a woman's right to shoes"

Reading this thread has made me decide to go and buy a baskets and a few pairs of washable slippers. We have cream carpets (inherited not chosen) and they get dirty very quickly. We also live in the sticks and by the time you've walked from your car to my front door you will have wet and muddy shoes.

I always expect to take my shoes off. If you don't then IMO that is rude and shows a lack of respect for your host's property.

My BIL does this.

I find it precious beyond belief.

OK so a quick bit of googling shows that you can buy hotel type slippers for 37p a pair. Perhaps we should all buy a few pairs for guests and then we won't have this argument every few months.

Of course YANBU - your house, your rules!

In our (working outdoors) house, by the time you'd waded through the wellies that have been used in the stables, and wellies used in the garden/polytunnel........you'd definitely want to keep your shoes ON

I long ago gave up thinking my carpets were the most precious thing I owned.

YANBU. I am shoes off house too.

However...I once had to go to someone's home unexpectedly and she asked me to take mine off and I was so embarrassed as I KNEW my feet smelt! I had some boots on which seemed to make me smell...I was in a state of utter shame and got out of there FAST> could it be that with MIL? I threw my boots away that day!

If you don't then IMO that is rude and shows a lack of respect for your host's property.

Frankly, most people's houses are nothing special. Anyone who cares more for their ghastly Carpetright 100% polypropolene naff-carpet than making guests feel welcome has skewed priorities.

I like to welcome guests with a cheery 'Come in! Welcome! What are you drinking?' not: 'take your shoes off and put on these cheapo thin slippers before you tread dog dirt in my shag, you filthy beast'.

One is vastly more hospitable than the other.

I do find it rude mainly because I was brought up to think that it falls into the same category as serviettes,toilets ,holding your knife like a pen etc

We don't tend to wear shoes around the house because I can't be bothered to ,I find it a bit odd when adults take non muddy shoes off and i'm not a big fan of looking at other peoples feet,unless they arrive in muddy boots of course

Interesting contrast here with the thread last week about whether you should take shoes off in a carpeted office,most people though shoes off was unprofessional and unhygienic.

It's rude an unwelcoming as others have said.

Carpets really aren't that important, just get them cleaned regularly. You should anyway after having people's smelly feet on them if you're a "shoes off before you're allowed into my house" person.

Fortunately none of my friends are.

I've never asked anyone to remove their shoes and wouldn't dream of it but our house is so cold you might be at risk of frostbite if you took your shoes off. However I hate wearing shoes and always remove them. I love to go barefoot, but I guess that is because I grew up abroad.

'If you don't then IMO that is rude and shows a lack of respect for your host's property.

Frankly, most people's houses are nothing special.'

How rude! (the second statement, by Herman, not the first). If someone wants their home and carpet kept clean, it is not a guest's business to pass judgement on what the home looks like or where the carpet might be from or how much or little it cost. And perhaps not everyone can afford to get their floors or carpets cleaned regularly?

I think Herman has it spot on!

So herman says most people have cheap carpets....so never mind lets just get them even more shit up! regardless off how much your flooring cost most of us like to keep a nice clean home!

"regardless off how much your flooring cost most of us like to keep a nice clean home!" Nope, I think this thread has shown it's pretty much 50/50 of those who prioritise a nice clean home v those who think the comfort of their guests is more important.

And actually, shoes indoors doesn't mean the house can't be clean, it just means you someone has to do more cleaning

We have cre carpets that we NEVER wear shoes on but I feel uncomfortable asking guests to remove shoes. I always hope they will notice my beautiful carpets and take their shoes off. So many don't and to be honest my carpets are ruined as a result.

Cream not cre

Just don't offer them the "artisanal slippers"

Frankly I think it's rude to ask people to remove their shoes. If their shoes are muddy then they should offer. But guests shouldn't be asked. I'd feel really uncomfortable and unwelcome if I was asked to do this.

I can't see all the replies because the mobile site has gone tits up, but I think you lot must move in somewhat different circles to me. The only time I wear skirts and high heels to someone's house is when I'm picking them up for a night out What do you do if the house you're visiting has a wood floor? Surely walking barefoot is better than permanently damaging your friends floor?

I wear (casual) skirts most of the time incidentally, and am happy to go barefoot or stockinged feet in other peoples houses. I see no reason to be ashamed of my feet, and I think they're far less unsightly than a dirt track on the carpet or a scuffed floorboard.

On a side note, several members of my family are japanese and to them, it is rude to the point of being offensive to wear shoes in the house. This has probably influenced me as well, as you get swiftly used to removing your shoes when you see the look of absolute horror as you step across the threshold.

And yes, I do make allowances eg if someone's in a rush (picking up kids) or has a medical problem. Still absolutely repulses me to see shoes on my carpet but I bite my tongue.

Bolshy - I thought the same thing about 'different circles'! I cannot think of any time when I would wear high heels to a friend's house.

Also, that's a really good point about Japan. When I was over there, the shoe etiquette was really strict. You had (plastic) slippers for the bathroom that were only to be worn in the bathroom - leaving them on in the main room was viewed as absolutely disgusting behaviour, like spreading used loo paper around the place.

Then you had another set of slippers for the house (so you don't ruin the lovely tatami mats or spread dirt in more modern places) and then outside shoes for the outside.

It makes sense. Every day when you go out, you step in all kinds of revoluting stuff in your outside shoes. You don't want to bring that into someone's house (or your own).

People who have cats/dogs and still insist guests remove their shoes are particularly irritating imo

Oh yes Alis - I have one of those. No shoes in the house but the cats walk on the kitchen work surface!

Re different people's attire, I often pop in on friends on my way home from work, my MIL wouldn't be seen dead in trousers so will always be in thin nylons. In any case, in most homes my feet freeze if I only have one pair of socks and no slippers/shoes between them and the floor. I do still almost always remove them but I don't think it's very welcoming of friends to insist on it.

That's all fine in Japan, outofcontrol, where it's expected and the slippers are provided but you're not doing that, are you?