To ask visitors to take their shoes off before coming into my home?

[moomin35]

Including my MIL who clearly didn't appreciate being asked!

Not everybody has hygenic feet.
And yes I know that in the winter most people are wearing socks, but not so much in summer.
I don't want people and their veruccas, corns, flaky skin and smelly toe- jam encrusted bare feet going over my nice clean carpets.

And then the baby might crawl over it. Yuck.
No, shoes are much better - they keep all the nasties contained.

My family of course have normal feet

Squoosh, you can come round my house anytime

No one has ever explained why they want my bare feet in their home rather than nice clean shoes.

The solution to unhygienic get is obvious - have one of those footpaths installed like swimming pools used to have, at your front door.

Oh ffs HQ, please fix the wandering banner so my posts make sense!
Solution to unhygienic feet is a footbath

What about sedan chair users? Do they have to take off their shoes too even though they don't walk about on the dirty ground? Hmm? Hmm?!?!

Is this still going?

Amused by those who consider shoes to be 'outdoor clothing'. Went to the theatre last night. We all left out coats in the cloakroom, but we kept our shoes on. Same when we go to work. Or into a shop. Must be murder taking your shoes off twenty times a day, every time you find yourself indoors.

But Sqoosh, so much has been made of the importance of being welcoming and prioritising your guests comfort. Why would you want me to be uncomfortable at your house by imposing a shoes on rule? My feet are not manky and I generally wear pretty jazzy socks.

squoosh, what's selfish about what I said? Do you mean 'I wouldn't feel like a good guest if I turned up to someone's house and kept my shoes on unless I was totally sure they were clean.'?

You do realise that I mean 'kept my shoes on against my host's wishes', right? You don't really think I meant I insist on ripping off my shoes and flaunting my feet in every house I go into?

Shall I lay out, very clearly, how it goes or would go in Onlyworld:

Host 1 'Hello! Oh, would you mind taking your shoes off?'
Me 'No, course not.'
END

Host 2 (squoosh-alike) 'Hello!'
Me 'Hello! Is it shoes-off?'
Host 2 'No, in fact I'd probably rather you kept them on to be honest.'
Me 'You sure? I don't think they're that clean.'
Host 'Yeah, on is fine.' (meaning For the love of God don't take them off and squish about in your sweaty socks).
Me (getting the message) 'OK, I'll just wipe them again then cos they are quite dirty.'
END

Is that selfish? Am I a bad guest?

EDIT 'I DON'T mean 'kept my shoes on against my host's wishes', right?

EDIT again I was right first time. D'oh.

shops are completely different

they are public places and anywhere frequented by the public you probably wouldn't want to touch anything or remove shoes due to the constant filth brought in and likely crap dropped in or around teh shop. broken glass or needles or the plastic tops to coffee cups or chewing gum etc.

homes are supposed to be well comfortable aren't they? If I rocked up to your house and couldn't take my shoes off I'd think you were a bit weird. I'd stay as I'd been invited and if I was a friend I'd accept your weird hang ups as presumably there would be reasons why I was your friend.

but if I was wearing my smart boots my feet would he very uncomfortable indeed. I can't wear them very long as they hurt.

and my r raiders, well they are comfy but given I wear them daily and everywhere and often in places like buses and bus stops wear those spilt drinks puddles and mud are harder to avoid and often have no choice but to walk through it then I can tell you now my trainers are usually pretty dirty.

raiders? trainers. strange auto correct

Why on earth wouldn't it be ok to remove outdoor clothing when going indoors. Or do your guests sit around with hats gloves scarves shoes and coats on too?

I take my coat, gloves and scarf off when I'm indoors because I am too hot with them on. I keep my shoes on (or swap for my slippers at home) because my feet would be too cold without them on. Though in fact I have been known to wear my scarf indoors if I'm wearing a lowish top.

We just got new floors and joined the club. Our visitors to date haven't minded in the slightest.

that they've told you. My shoes-off friend doesn't know that I am freezing and hate taking my shoes off in her house. One day when I'm pissed enough I will tell her!

I love how if people from other countries take their shoes off, it's "cultural". If you happen to be British, it's "common".

I don't particularly care about my floors - I don't even have carpets - I take my shoes off in homes (as opposed to public buildings, obviously that's different!) because it was what I did growing up, what my parents did, what all my schoolfriends and acquaintances did, and do. The very definition of a culturally learned behaviour. But apparently it isn't my culture, because I have a UK passport.

I do see where the other side are coming from, because if someone ever asked me to keep my shoes on in the house, I'd feel very unwelcome and uncomfortable, and it must be the same the other way around. Which is why I wouldn't ever tell someone what to do about their own footwear.

OnlyLovers you poor dear, you seem to be getting yourself in a muddle. Have a brandy and a lie down and you'll be as right as rain.

Shoe removers, would you ask the Queen to take her shoes off? Or if you wouldn't allow the Queen in your house, someone who has equal status to you that the Queen has to a Royalist?

squoosh, yes, I was. I did have some genuine questions/points though that I genuinely would like to hear the answers to. I do want to hear what you thought sounded selfish about what I said.

I think you should provide your MIL with some nice comfy slippers.

Queen or not, she would take her shoes off or be entertained in the garden if she came to my house. The return visit at Buckers, my first instinct would be to remove my shoes, but I suppose I'd ask if she didn't make it obvious.

It's not as if the lazy trout gets the Shake n Vac out herself anyway.

You said 'personally I wouldn't feel like a good guest if I turned up to someone's house and kept my shoes on unless I was totally sure they were clean.'

As has been repeated many times in this thread, many shoes on people think shoes that have been worn outdoors can never possibly be clean enough. They are perceived as being incubators of filth and disease.

I merely pointed out that taking your shoes off so as to abide by your own personal idea of what being a good guest entails would actually be a bit rude in a shoes on household.

Actually, thinking about it, if somebody is going to take offence and have a problem with taking their shoes off in my home, they don't have to come in. It's my home, not a public right of way, so if the queen or anybody else wants to make it into a problem, they can naff off.

So there.

squoosh, I added to that later (although I would have hoped it was quite clear by context and implication) that what I meant was

'I wouldn't feel like a good guest if I turned up to someone's house and kept my shoes on against my host's wishes unless I was totally sure they were clean.'

As in, I think the stories on here of people repeatedly trying to come into houses with their shoes on when they've been asked more than once not to are shocking and I think people who behave like that – keep their shoes on against their host's wishes – are bad guests.

My mini-play in one of my posts above makes clear (well, I thought it did) what would happen if I was invited to a shoes-on household. Do you consider my actions in that scenario to be selfish?

YANBU

I think that's a good point Only - I would feel like a bad guest if I kept my shoes on after being asked to take them off - I would be a good guest, but a cold and comfortable one who wouldn't have the best time. Which, as a host, would mortify me - that my house rules made a guest feel uncomfortable and want to leave. Which is why I don't agree that a guest can just say 'no' to a request to take shoes-off - once the request has been made it leaves the guest nowhere to go.

It seems that the shoes-off people want to impose a rule onto their guests, whereas most (though not all) of the shoes-on people are saying 'do what makes you feel most comfortable' - i.e. putting their guests comfort first, without making them feel that they are a bad guest for not abiding by a house rule.

I don't think I'm explaining myself very well!