To ask visitors to take their shoes off before coming into my home?

[moomin35]

Including my MIL who clearly didn't appreciate being asked!

But you've just said "shoes off feet on the sofa" The pp said her MIL put her feet up on the sofa with her shoes on. I'd not be happy about that either.

Aah - that makes more sense!

That made me feel discombobulated

Is taking your bra off at the door a thing too? I thought that was just for certain kinds of parties.

It is compulsory at the earliest given opportunity to remove ones bra - in fact just been on holiday in Florida and removed it as I was walking down international drive. I hate wearing bras

How fortunate you are tat yku have the time money and energy to deal with cleankng all the time

Costs me very little in either time or money to wash my laminate and tile floors. Even if nobody ever wore a shoe over the threshold of our home, I'd probably clean the floors anyway. It's not that much of an overhead.

I have never been to a shoes on house.

I wouldn't automatically think it was dirty. I would just wonder how you could relax with shoes on. To me, it's the same as everyone wearing their coats in the house. It just seems totally weird.

Your house your rules of course.

But unless they are wearing muddy wellies you are being uptight and ridiculous.

I'm shoes on, but always wipe my feet on the doormat very thoroughly and my visitors do too. Friends with babies usually have them rolling around on a playmat. Doormat/playmat. Done and dusted IMO.

When people go to Buckinham Palace to receive their medals, do they have to take their shoes off?
You can't get any posher than Buck House.
(When I see film of her pinning medals on, I don't see any people wearing slippers or barefooted in their finery.

Is the Queen a Shoes Off or a Shoes On person?

I don't think she would be bothered. It's only us peasants (lower classes) that are worried and obsessed about the carpets. It's replaced the scrubbing the front doorstep

I said it was a Class thing.

Good luck keeping my 8 month old crawler on a playmat

Shoes Off shows your background ducks

Nothing wrong with coming from humble backgrounds. And it's quaint how some little habits (worrying about the furniture more than your guests) can carry on through the ages.

Good luck keeping my 8 month old crawler on a playmat grin

You realise that when your 8 month old starts school, he or she will be sat on a carpet, in a classroom - and they will all be wearing SHOES.
Those shoes will be trampled across the carpet umpteen times a day - and then the children sit on the carpets - and their hands are all over the carpet.
The horror.

But - they survive.

Nope, sorry, my posh ILs are shoes off (couldn't give a toss about their carpet but they live rurally and don't want sopping wet floors) whereas my working class grandparents were shoes on. I really don't think it's a class thing.

I only meant for the teenies on the move yet ! By the time they are roving I reckon they'll be into all sorts anyway!

Posh people that live in the country - as you say rural, usually DO have a shoes off rule... because of the amount of mud around.
But the townies poshies aren't as shoes off.

I would hope she's grown out of the habit of eating everything she finds on the floor by then

Incidentally, had the experience of a kid treading dog shit into the classroom as a child. Grim, grim, grim- you see why I'm paranoid, it's like some running theme in my life!

Some of us are shoes off not because we particularly worry about the carpets, but just because. Because I was brought up that way and as I have explained endlessly because it seems really odd to wear shoes indoors. If it's something you've never ever done or really seen anyone else do it seems most peculiar.
I do think it's a bit grim but only because common sense is that wearing shoes indoors is, at the very least, slightly dirtier than not wearing shoes indoors. But that's not the main thing for me, the main thing is it's like someone coming in and keeping their coat on. It's not to with the dirt it's to do with the fact that it seems so unusual to someone who hasn't experienced it much.
You can stick your little digs about how that might make me common, that's a really rubbish put down.

This reminds me of a friend who dated an italian man in italy who was shocked we dont have bidets here, shocked we didnt wash our arses with water after a shit, or period or sex. He thought it was rank we got on with our daily business after such things without washing with water.

But most of us dont have bidets and we do survive don't we! But if you think about it, the italian I think is right, it would be cleaner to be able to wash with water! But we dont.

I find it a bit like keeping the plastic on the front room furniture. Carpets are supposed to be walked on. Including with shoes.

I always take shoes off when I go into someone else's house. It is as automatic as taking my own off when coming home. I am always appreciative when people do the same for me but find it's usually those of a like mind. I don't think some people ever think of it and notice if I take mine off in their homes they usually start to do the same when visiting. I don't ask.

Do you not think it's a bit rude to take your shoes off without checking it's okay first?

Why on earth wouldn't it be ok to remove outdoor clothing when going indoors

Or do your guests sit around with hats gloves scarves shoes and coats on too?

It's definitely a Class thing.

It came about because years ago, the poorer classes bought furniture (and carpet) for life.
They couldn't afford to replace it every couple of years. So it was of utmost importance to preserve things for as long as possible.
Hence the shoes off/plastic on chairs mentality that you see on working class sitcoms.
People were also judged on how clean they were. Cleanliness and neatness were also very important. Not having much money, cleanliness was something achievable by everybody. It gave people a sense of Pride.

This habit is so ingrained that it has prevailed today

The Posher people didn't give a toss and would merrily have dogs, humans and various other muddy creatures traipsing around their houses.

Different values

How strange, I don't think i have ever met a posh person who actually brought furniture well perhaps their great great great grandmother did but certainly not them

This is my first shoes off thread. I'm crying with laughter at crawling MILs and broken toes!

Lots of my friends have shies off houses. It does mean guests notice if your kitchen floor is dirty (sticky socks euww)

We just got new floors and joined the club. Our visitors to date haven't minded in the slightest.

Why on earth wouldn't it be ok to remove outdoor clothing when going indoors

Christ almighty.

Because as has been explained 100 times already, not everyone wants people wandering around their house in their socks. I would respectfully ask you keep your shoes on, if anyone had a problem with that they could get lost.

It works both ways.