To ask visitors to take their shoes off before coming into my home?

[moomin35]

Including my MIL who clearly didn't appreciate being asked!

squoosh I love them - link please

People do get very het up about it.

Some of you really don't like having guests at all do you , I suppose to me a guest is always right ( children excepted although I do expect my children to defer to guests generally unless they are very outrageous).

I am afraid it's just bad manners , in the same way as not saying please or thank you, not trying everything on your plate or making negative comments about food etc.

you go Penguin! [[http://www.fancydressshack.co.uk/Christmas-Fancy-Dress-Christmas-Costume-Accessories-Elf-Shoes-and-Santa-Boots-Elf-Shoes-Brown-and-Red/2757-PD/default.html]]

Ooops, try this.

Then they are paranoid. Sorry.

I'm not a toddler. I'm. Not going to kick and scream if I hear the word no.

I would funnily enough trust in another adult I'd liked enough to invite to my house to have their reasons should a question or request be declined.

They are clearly building it up in their heads to be a bigger issue than it is

squoosh you tease - they're out of stock

Giles how in the name of all that is holy could a five minute visit from a neighbour cause irrepairable and lasting damage to a carpet or floor?

I don't think it's the shoes on brigade who are being overly dramatic here, we've had people being repulsed by seeing shoes on carpets, incidence of TB , and all manner of hidden, insidious foulness, lack of respect of other's property and possessions.

No-one in the shoes on camp has advocated the wearing of muddy shoes on pristine carpets.

The TV comment was a ridiculous response to me saying that I see people regularly spitting on the ground and wouldn't want that trodden through my house.

Every year this comes up, every year I tell the same anecdote from uber posho woman who said:

"Do help yourself to the artisanal slippers in the basket"

Tb

Judging by some of the comments on this thread they are not being paranoid Giles. Most guests want to be good guests for their host and if they can't comply with a request from the host as soon as they have stepped through the front door then they are going to feel a bit awkward, they probably think wearing shoes in the house is a big issue for you, which it obviously is.

I've now read the rest of the thread and see that folk are quoting me, so well known is this damn anecdote now

ginny I don't ask my dog or cat to take their shoes off......

Again, I don't pounce at door. I don't have signs and people can take as much time as they need to remove shoes or not depending on whether they can or not.

The extremists with signs do not speak for us all.

And it has been pointed out also that people have immune suppressed kids, rented accommodation that's not theirs to get dirty and may have conditions themselves preventing them from scrubbing carpets etc.

But clearly that doesn't matter so long as you aren't made to feel uncomfortable which is a ridiculous reaction to a polite request.

mini Am I supposed to stop somewhere on the street before I arrive, to change into a clean pair of socks?

Frankly m'dear, yes. Though the car or a ladies loo might be a better option.

Just like you might want to refresh yourself in the armpit area if you were to arrive all sweaty and with wet pits on your clothing.

If the hosts are sat with bare feet, the same as the guests, then it doesn't seem so bad.
It's when the the hosts' feet are nice and cosy in their slippers and the guests are sat there with chilly, cold feet - maybe because they dropped in on the spare of the moment and don't carry spare slippers with them where are men supposed to keep their slippers when they carry them around with them? .
Then that seems a bit rude.

If you're going to ask your guests to take their shoes off, and they're not wearing socks or tights... then do the same - go barefooted yourself see how you like it.
Otherwise to sit there in slippers while they have to suffer is bad hosting skills.

This thread is brilliant! Who knew shoes on vs shoes off could be such an issue? I wonder if it'll be on The Wright Stuff in the morning? I'm visiting a friend tomorrow evening and I'm imagining a sleepless night tonight, worrying about the logistics of crossing the threshold without insulting anyone! I am thinking that I will go along with my usual shoe off approach as I've never had anyone react with horror to the sight of my socked feet.
Just a little thought though, if you accidentally put your hand in something, like dog dirt, vomit, other bodily fluid commonly found in any town centre (especially if there are bars) would you be satisfied that a simple rub down would be sufficient in removing the germs? Or would you be washing your hands/ using some sort of antibacterial gel? I don't see many people washing the soles of their shoes before they enter their houses, just giving them a rub on a mat at most. So where do all the germs go if not on the flooring?

I'm going to buy my husband a great big bloddy manbag so that he can carry slippers around with him everywhere he goes. Because you never know when you will be asked to remove your shoes.

I hose my gentleman caller down with anti bacterial gel before permitting him entry to my bed chamber.

It's definitely a Class thing.

It came about because years ago, the poorer classes bought furniture (and carpet) for life.
They couldn't afford to replace it every couple of years. So it was of utmost importance to preserve things for as long as possible.
Hence the shoes off/plastic on chairs mentality that you see on working class sitcoms.
People were also judged on how clean they were. Cleanliness and neatness were also very important. Not having much money, cleanliness was something achievable by everybody. It gave people a sense of Pride.

This habit is so ingrained that it has prevailed today.

The Posher people didn't give a toss and would merrily have dogs, humans and various other muddy creatures traipsing around their houses.
Different values.

I hose my gentleman caller down with anti bacterial gel before permitting him entry to my bed chamber

3littlebadgers - no, i don't think people tend to wipe shoes with antibacterial wipes but then again I tend not to lick the floor either and nor do any of my family (including our 12 month old granddaughter). Perhaps I'm missing out on something
I would offer to take my shoes off in anyones home (if I was visiting informally) but would think them uptight if they asked me to, if I was visiting in a professional capacity I wouldn't offer - have been offered overshoes before on a home visit - that was at least 8 years ago and I still think it was a very odd thing to do.

Okay Giles your polite request

Giles "Would you mind taking your shoes off?"

Guest "Sorry, no I can't" - Guest already on the back foot as feeling need to apologise for not being able to comply with request.

Giles "Okay that's fine, etc."

Guest thinks 'If it's fine to keep my shoes on why ask me to take them off? Obviously it's not really fine, perhaps I ought to explain why...'

Class, cultural, medical, it could be for a number of reasons. What I am pretty sure about is that no one decides on a shoe off approach just to torture their guests, and the majority of shoe off families would be more that willing to accommodate someone's needs if they were uncomfortable with it.