To ask when your child could wipe their own bottom?

[Writerwannabe83]

I popped in to see my auntie earlier as her Godson was there (who I've known a few years) as it's his 6th birthday in a few days and I wanted to pop his present round.

Whilst I was there he asked to go to the toilet and when he hadn't reappeared after a few minutes she called up to him to check he was ok. He shouted down that he'd had a poo so could she go up. She told me that he doesn't know how to clean himself and every time he has a poo the adult has to wipe his bottom for him.

I asked her if she meant that he tries to do it himself and then the adult checks to see he has done it properly but she said no, he just sits on the toilet and waits for the adult to do it for him.

This child doesn't have any additional needs by the way.

I was a bit shocked that a 6 year old can't wipe their own bottom. Or am I being naive and this is in fact quite typical??

It makes no odds to me but if it is the norm then I need to prepare DH as he makes a song and dance about changing DS's dirty nappies I think I should let him know that he's in it for the long haul

Yanbu, at 6 he definitely should be. How does he manage at school?

That sounds unusual to me.

How does he manage at school? I bet they don't wipe it for him.
I'm interested in opinions here as my boy is turning 4 next wk and I think he should now be doing this himself but he thinks otherwise.

At 4 it still needed checking.

I was uninvolved by 5.

It depends very much on the child, I think.

Mine both wiped their own bottoms from around 3 or so, but I still checked them to make sure they were clean until they were almost 4. Now 4 and 7 I still struggle to get them to consistently flush the toilet.

Mine could technically do it by 4 and a bit, but will do his best to persuade us to do it for him at 5!

This amuses me! My just turned five year old wipes her bum at school but I do it for her at home. I can't beat the thought of her fingers going through paper. She also itches her bum.

I need to let her get on with it but the thought really makes me feel

It does sound unusual. Perhaps he just doesn't go at school?

DS (just 4) needs to be checked but is getting better. I don't remember the last time I assisted DD (just 6) in anyway.

Liara - the flushing thing! What is that?

Why won't they do it?!

DD is 5yo and she wipes the back and I check. We've had a few instances of poo in her pants at school where she hasn't wiped well enough so we're still 'training' on that front. It doesn't help that she's long in the body and struggles to reach.

I'm a bit over indulgent with my just 5 year old with this I think. She never poos at school but would no doubt wipe herself if she did. At home I often do it as her poos are mostly really soft and messy. I've started making her do the first few wipes and just finishing the job for her.

I'm hot on independence for everything else, just my own personal issues with this I suppose.

Dd1 (7yo) more or less reliable - needs occasional help. Dd2 (5yo) prob 50/50 success rate.

I long for the days when I don't have anything to do with anyone else's poo

When they toilet trained.

If they can't sort themselves out in the loo, surely they are not toilet trained?

Sure they don't always do it perfectly but they do have regular baths, so it isn't the end of the world.

I would not wipe a 6yo's bum!

Dd is almost four and wipes herself and then I check, she is pretty good though.

The other madthings were the same I think.

Dd is 3 in feb . Wipes own bits and has for months .
A neighbours kid was 7. Ridiculous and not pleasant for the obliging adult .

Oh yes and the flipping inability to flush the loo! Why?

Even my dd 7.5 years with ASD and dev delay wipes her own bottom.

Glad it's not just mine with the flushing!

Drives me crazy.

DS is almost 5 & he gets someone to check his bum when he's done a poo. Which I don't mind too much as I know he's doing a good job, 95% of the time.

Oh, and he leaves the poo for me to check how big it is before flushing I really hope he grows out of this soon!

Whoops. I still wipe poos for my nearly six year old. Never thought about whether it was unusual or not until this thread two minutes ago. I'll check tomorrow to see if she can reach well enough to do it properly.

Just thinking on this - as a girl you need to go front to back, so your arm needs to reach fairly far behind you and round. I'm guessing it must be easier fir boys as they can go either way??? Or am I wrong? Literally never thought about thus before now.

Amazed that people are still wiping a 5yo's bum!

I agree, how are they managing at school?

Not wiped anyone's bottom in this house for many a year. Since they were reliable with the pooh really, or pretty much. Certainly before they went to nursery school (which was at 3.3mo or so)

Don't judge, every child and parent is different. When the children are taking a levels, nobody is going to ask how old they were when they could wipe their own bum.

I still wipe ds1 sometimes and he is six. He can manage on his own, most of the time, but I don't resent helping him if he asks. I'd rather he was clean and confident than got some sort of hang up about it.