To ask when your child could wipe their own bottom?

[Writerwannabe83]

I popped in to see my auntie earlier as her Godson was there (who I've known a few years) as it's his 6th birthday in a few days and I wanted to pop his present round.

Whilst I was there he asked to go to the toilet and when he hadn't reappeared after a few minutes she called up to him to check he was ok. He shouted down that he'd had a poo so could she go up. She told me that he doesn't know how to clean himself and every time he has a poo the adult has to wipe his bottom for him.

I asked her if she meant that he tries to do it himself and then the adult checks to see he has done it properly but she said no, he just sits on the toilet and waits for the adult to do it for him.

This child doesn't have any additional needs by the way.

I was a bit shocked that a 6 year old can't wipe their own bottom. Or am I being naive and this is in fact quite typical??

It makes no odds to me but if it is the norm then I need to prepare DH as he makes a song and dance about changing DS's dirty nappies I think I should let him know that he's in it for the long haul

Our school wipes bums with relative good cheer- it's not unusual to help the odd kid, the odd time or to clear up accidents upto yr 2. More commonly lower down

Potty trained at 2.5 and could wipe own bum by 3yo! They don't check them at nursery after that so I'm not sure why you would at home- I jusmade sure they had a bath at night!

Both toilet trained by 2 years. Wiped from then. I always assumed that was part of toilet training

Ds2 is 3 1/2, at nursery they are expected to take themselves off to the toilet when needed, go, wipe, wash hands and return to room. No nursery teacher goes with them.

DS is nearly 4 and still has help at home. He has a go at nursery, but he is very prone to poos that are stubborn to wipe due to dietry issues. I tend to use washable cloth wipes as it's hard work with toilet paper.

Wow - lots of responses, thanks everyone.

I hadn't thought about what happens at school? Maybe he doesn't go there like a PP suggested.

It's interesting to read such varied responses.

I still wipe my 6 year olds bum but she has constipation and leakage so usually has dried poo on there which is hard for me to get off, let alone her. I do get her to practice each time tho for when she Can poo normally. Sorry tmi

Ds1 is 4.5 and still can't wipe his bum and it's not because he hasn't been taught. Kids develop differently. He is NT but had some developmental delays, he's isn't very co-ordinated and he'll have a go at wiping but he has really soft messy poo and can't quite get his arm around to do it properly.
He has pooed twice at school, one time he was so messy that the TA gave him spare pants and binned the shit covered ones (I presume she cleaned his bum aswell), the second time I noticed he smelt when we got home, asked to change his pants and he had poo all over them. I'm fairly certain if he could wipe his own bum he would have rather than be covered in shite.

DS2 I expect will be doing it himself much earlier (he's two) as he's already capable of dressing himself, putting shoes on etc so doesn't find it as challenging as ds1 does.
It doesn't really matter in the long run does it?

I don't wipe any children who are over 4.

by then you just tell them to wipe and check,

if you get lots of dirty pants you, check wiping a bit more, but none of mine have had a problem wiping....although DD was an absolute nightmare to potty train and wasn't until 2 months ago (but she wipes)

Ds is 2 years 3 months and is orrery good at doing it himself, but I always wipe to check.

The dgc were all 4/5 with varying degreesof success. My dd was 3ish and her brother was 4.5. I remember because I wanted them to be independent before school but dd was very quick with toilet training. I think 6 is unusually late for NT child.

What does NT stand for?? I see it used a lot but have never felt the need to ask. I have always assumed it's used to describe a child with any special/additional needs but don't actually know what the initials stand for.

Neurologically typical

Thanks

There are quite a few posters who seem to, somewhat bizarrely, be in some kind of competition fir whose kid was the youngest to wipe.
I'm gonna go the opposite way and say I find it fairly disgusting and lazy when a parent sends their three year old off to do a poo by themselves - I don't doubt they can all do it, but most won't wipe plus wash hands to the hygiene standard of an adult. There are plenty of other ways to teach independence, without having children with shit in their finger nails, or up their crack.

DD1 is 5 and she wipes and i check. She hasn't done a poo at school so far. Most of the time she is clean but sometimes she isn't and i can't bear the thought of her walking around with a dirty bum and i definitely wouldn't want her to get in a bath with a dirty bum, especially since she often shares a bath with her sister!
DD2 is 3 and i wipe for her.
So i wouldn't have been shocked by the nearly 6 year old boy in the OP asking someone to wipe for him but i am surprised when i hear that some 3 year olds do it all by themselves.

Ds1 was 4 before he could really wipe successfully, but not if it was a "sloppy poo" - he's nearly 7 and still worries that he hasn't wiped properly if it's a sloppy one (he usually has by now, but he occasionally misses a bit). He rarely has sloppy ones though, so 99% of the time he wipes fine by himself, and his pants don't have skiddies in them, so he must be doing it right.

The 6yo in the op could be paranoid about not cleaning properly (like my Ds1) - or he's just lazy/babied by his mother/parents.

Oh yes, meant to add that it's not uncommon for children to refuse to poo at school - I know I avoided it as much as humanly possible! You don't want anyone in the loos to know you're doing a poo, the teasing etc. can be shocking (yes I KNOW everyone has to but that doesn't stop children calling you stinky, poopants etc.)

I will check and then get them to do a quick clean with a wet wipe to get rid of unseen residue.

We have just stopped checking now at about 4.5 years.

He has had it down for a few months, DS1 was about the same I think but can't really remember (which shows you how much it matters).

My four and a half yo can wipe his own bottom now. I still check just to make sure but the boy does good! . Do have to remind him about washing hands often though...

Six is a bit old. My DB was shouting my mum to come wipe his bum till he was about ten though! And she obliged. I think that's the problem above all, the parents babying them and letting it happen.

I think it is important that they can wipe and wash their hands when they start school as teachers won't do it for them.

Ds1 was almost 7, he was just lazy, he could do it but had skiddies so would prefer me to do it. He does a grand job now

My ds2 was like this, lazy little toad! He did it at school, although he told me he didn't poo at school, I did it at home until he was about 6.

The same as a pp I just wanted to ensure he was properly clean and he wasn't very good at wiping.

No I wouldn't consider that normal - as people have said, what does he do at school? Of course he may just be being lazy and happy to let his family facilitate.

My DS wiped himself at preschool (although a Montessori; they promoted independence) and is OK now he's at school; he's five in Feb. DD likes to do herself and she's just turned three... her doggedness to be 'grown up' though; I have to check her.

Arethere - my ds is 3. He wipes his own and washes hands properly. He's been doing this with help since around 15 months! So I probably helped him a year of showing how properly until 2-2 1/3. How many years should he need? If anything he's better than most adults I know at hand washing. Many walk straight out of public toilets without een a splash of water! Ds will stand on his step, wash, add soap and wash up wrists/ between fingers properly the same a nurse would, then rinse.