To have no idea how to explain to my 9 year old DD what The Rapist Ched Evans did

[Hoppinggreen]

DD has obviously picked up some snippets about this and has asked what happened. She does know about sex but we haven't discussed what rape is and I don't know his to explain why the victim went to the hotel and what went on from there. I don't want to victim blame but I do want to perhaps talk to her about personal safety.
I also want to make the point that what The Rapist and his apologists are doing now is wrong and how Jessica Ennis ( who she worships) has done a great thing by condemning Sheffield utds actions.
Any suggestions?

No, you're right.

That was poorly thought through.

Sorry

Nobody has suggested that being vulnerable triggers men to rape. Just that being vulnerable MAY possibly mean that you are the one that is raped, as opposed to someone else. That's not victim blaming. That's perpetrator blaming. Fully accepting of the fact that a rapist is a rapist is a rapist. And me being falling down drunk or sober as a judge will not change that. But it just might change my risk of being the victim.

Fair play Creampie x

I once supported a women who was raped who was a working as a prostitute - the argument was made that by hanging around the dock road offering sex she was willingly risking being raped - like it was an occupational hazard - thankfully the jury agreed that all women have the right to say no regardless of where they are, what they wear or what they do to make money

www.wdvf.org.uk/RapeHO.pdf

You have read it like that but that isn't what I was (intending) saying. I was wondering if a man with an underlying proclivity to rape a woman would be opportunistic, so striking only when he sees a woman who looks (to him) vulnerable (rapeable), or whether he would have decided that someone was going to be raped that night and it was just a matter of deciding who.

I stand by that question as a valid one.

MyEmpireofDirt do you object to the work of the Suzy Lamplugh Trust?

"Our vision is a society in which people are able to reduce their risk of experiencing violence and aggression."

Is that victim blaming?

Thanks for posting that piper.

So 16-19 year old girls are most at risk, reflecting the lifestyles and circumstances of younger women, according to page 2, only secondary to the key characteristic of age of the men they socialise with. Does this report victim blame, or is it saying the younger women's lifestyles are inherently more risky?

most rapists rape because they can and they want to - rape is about power, control, domination, ownership etc

vulnerability may be attractive it may not, being strong may be, being old may be, or married, or pregnant or black ...

the one thing a vast majority of rapists have in common is the desire to assert control and take what they feel they can - not their victim choice

actually it says young men are more likely to rape - ergo young women are more likely to mix with men with rape ... it doesn't clarify 'lifestyle' is also only covers reported rape and over 16's - and the figure is almost identical for 20-24 year olds

I note at no point does it mention drinking

also:
The ‘myth of the safe home’ is well established in the
literature surrounding violence against women. Evidence
from the current study confirms that women are far more
likely to be sexually victimised in their own home than any
other location (Figure 4)

so the idea that having a 'party' lifestyle with drinks and coming home after dark is a risk is also somewhat debunked

Greater risk . not a risk

"Our vision is a society in which people are able to reduce their risk of experiencing violence and aggression."

"Our vision is a society in which people are able to reduce their risk of experiencing rape and sexual assault."

Why are these two sentences not both acceptable?

I'm not going to put it to the test, but I have a feeling that if I were to walk through the park naked and pissed tonight, some people might ask if I needed help, but most would give me a wide berth because it would be weird and unsettling behaviour.

Of course I might be unlucky enough to cross the path of a rapist who specialises in all those naked, pissed women who go out for an evening stroll.

What would be much more likely is that I would be on my own in the company of a rapist on our first date, our wedding night, a taxi, the office, a train carriage, stuck in a lift...

Because that's what's what happened to all of us, including those who think the only reason they haven't been raped is because they've taken precautions.

Because if you've ever been on your own with a man, you haven't.

But that's what we've been saying all along!!!

If we can identify patterns that are significant, which rape is associated with, then we can teach women to avoid those patterns to reduce the risk of rape. e.g. don't use the same route at all times.

It's not victim blaming to assess the circumstances of a rape to look for commonly occurring themes, having taken the vital theme (man was a rapist) out first.

Lougle - I can only think you're being wilfully blind to the distinction that Empire has repeatedly made between offering risk reduction advice (of debatable efficacy) and the view that should a victim decide to exercise their freedom not to follow aforementioned advice they are somehow personally responsible to some degree for crimes against them (i.e. 'asking for it').

This is a problem because the notion that there is some kind of moral imperative to follow risk reduction advice actually limits the freedom that women have to go where they want when they want wearing what they want, particularly at night - in a way that doesn't apply in the same way to men. So it does, in effect, restrict spatial and other freedoms in a way that has a basis in gender and is therefore unequal, sexist and morally wrong. It also buys into ideas that men simply 'cannot help themselves' when it comes to rape, which de-responsibilises the perpetrators of these crimes while placing an unfair burden on the victim.

Lugle u seem unable to grasp that the only thing rapes have in common is there is a rapist involved. Based on the evidence the safest thing would be to stay drunk and away from the home since statistically it's safer