you dont take 5 yo to the water gardens and tell them that all the fish swimming are what goes in fish fingers

[livingonalayline]

I'm raging at my ex dh, he took our 5 yo to the water gardens yesterday.

Nice day out I thought. So I serve up fish fingers and veg for lunch but now dd refuses to eat them as she liked all the koi and that in the water gardens.

I'm so angry, I've got a fussy eater and this was one of my fool proof healthy dishes!

A discussion about the lambs in the field behind our house, abd what was on his plate, resulted in a 30 year old lifelong vegetarian in this house. All children find out one way or another.

Raging? You're overreacting.

It's just another obstacle in life you have to overcome when parenting.

Would not explaining to her that fish fingers are not koi work?

Are fish fingers considered healthy?

I think yabu but I reckon there is a back story to this.

So your 5 year old didn't know that means and fish comes from animals? I think you're the unreasonable one here.

Yabu.

Fish fingers are made of fish. The ones that swim in the sea. Your child would twig on eventually and tbh i think they should know where their food comes from anyway.

Well...you can't keep it a lifelong secret. My kids know where pork comes from, beef, etc, but I don't think they connect, say, a live cow with beef on a plate.

Sorry, it must be tough with a fussy eater, but I don't think he did anything wrong, really.

Can't you just explain the fish he saw are still safely swimming around, and these fish come from a completely different place.

If it's from a fish farm you can truthfully say they were especially made to give to hungry people for food, and even if they're not you can say every one likes to be helpful and these fishes are so helpful to us because they make our brains grow big and strong!

One thing for sure is that if you make an issue of it then you are much more likely to have a long battle.

Yabu. The 5 year old had to find out what fish was at some point!

Sorry that's SHE, not HE!

Yabu. Fish fingers are made from fish (although admittedly not koi). Dh is veggie and ensures the dc ( them and me are not veggie) know where their meat and fish has come from. I agree they should understand this.

I think it's fine also. Surely you age already told her what and where all food comes from?

Although Ds (age 3) told everyone in the restaurant yesterday morning that his scrambled egg came from chickens bottoms... So not always great

Sorry OP but I think this is about your issues with him, not about fish fingers. We all had to learn what was going to happen to the animals in the fields, and five is a reasonable age to start. Even vegetarians' children have to learn that other people are going to eat them (the animals, not the children!) and accept it.

Oh dear. Of course YABU but I can understand why it's upset you. I don't think the upset is necessarily reasonable but I get how it is to have a fussy eater and sometimes that can be really distressing.

What would you rather, that your child becomes one of those who think that fish fingers come from chickens, or that cheese is a plant? (Like these kids: m.bbc.co.uk/news/education-22730613)

Surely you can explain that koi don't go into fish fingers, but the bottom line is that some fish do. You can't keep stuff like this hidden forever.

Yabu, my dh has been veggie for 30 years since he found out cows were hamburgers.

You now have a vegetarian so cook for it (it's dead easy)

Why on earth not?? How else is he going to find out? Completely unreasonable on your part.

I'm not saying she shouldnt know, but when you have a fussy eater I don't think anything should be said that could but a DC off food. Because of this she ended up having toast with jam for lunch, hardly a balanced meal.

Ex dh has turned vegan and keeps trying to push it onto everyone, and I really think he should butt out

children have to learn that other people are going to eat them (the animals, not the children!)

Point out that fish don't actually have fingers so your ex is actually a lying bastard (joke)

YABU. She likes seeing fish alive and thats wonderful, I bet she had a wonderful time, and good on her not to eat the fish fingers. You can buy veggie fingers instead surely.

YABU, sorry. But I would explain to her that fish fingers are usually pollock, not koi carp...

and I really think he should butt out

He's her father of course he shouldn't butt out.

Tbh I don't think toast and jam is that different nutritionally to fishfingers tbh. Fishfingers have fish sure but deep fat fried and processed, jam has sugar but also 50% fruit. Same difference really.

I would work on fussiness rather than blaming someone else for explaining the facts. Explain why many eat meat/ fish dairy, what benefits they can have on health etc

Because of this she ended up having toast with jam for lunch, hardly a balanced meal

Which you fed her. You can't blame your ex for you feeding your DD crap for lunch just because she knows what's in a fish finger.