am i being fair to my 17 yr old daughter

[ghostspirit]

my daughter gos to college mon and tueday. wed,thurs,fri. she is at home so on theses days. i ask her to tidy 2 rooms. living room and kitchen, sometimes the hall. and she picks her siblings up from school. i get home 10 mins after they get home. I give her 10 pounds a week for doing the 3 day school run. plus 18 a month for her phone. and if shes going out with a friend or something i will give her extra money.

im up at 7am sorting the kids getting them to school then i come home for about 45 mins and get sorted for work. i then go to work and get home 3.30-3.40 i work in a school kitchen its very busy and physical. Im 16 weeks pregnant and having problems with my hips and back time i get home i want to cry in pain and can hardly walk.

sat/sun/mon/tuesday me and the boys 7 and 12 do house things between us.

my daughter is constantly moaning about it. going on about all the stuff she has to do. i have come home to a bomb tonight there were not even clean plates for me to do dinner. im meant to be signing a new tenancy tomorrow i said to my daughter if you were a landlord would you want us living in this house. her reply was well its not my (her) responsability if i get into trouble......

Am i asking to much of her.

I also wonder how you would cope without your DD's help?

I'm not saying she shouldn't help, but you seem to rely on her rather a lot.

as i have said several times daughyter does it the 3 days she is here me and the boys do it the other 4 days. but we do the whole house. whist she only does the 2 rooms...

of course i would cope without her. i will train up the 4 year old as she does not question things she just does them... (joke)

its not about how i would cope its about she should pull her weight to as she lives here is not a hotel. seen enough posts on here to see she has it quite easy really

No she didn't; I reported it. It was utterly revolting, I didn't want the OP exposed to it, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

sleeponeday i want to know what it said i feel teased hahaah

lacksdirection I am really confused. In what way does the OP (allegedly) rely on her eldest DD rather a lot?

The eldest DD collects the younger ones from school 3x pw.

That's it - that's all.

??

Oh no, Chipping. She has to tidy up the living room sometimes, too. And she only gets paid £48 a month, plus extra spends for treats, for this onerous burden.

I should have had Childline on direct dial when I was a kid, it seems. Who knew?

Sleep I agree, I'm not even going to list the things I did from being 13

However, what I meant was - 'rely' - the op is only 'relying' on her DD to collect the kids, everything else is just contributing to keeping the house clean and tidy (and she's doing next to nothing anyway is she!!).

I went to university at age 17. She's a big girl. It's not too much for her but she'll be like typical teenagers and not want to do is.

It also depends on family money. We are quite well off so when the older children here have helped with the younger ones they have been paid quite a bit more than yours but that just reflects how much I earn.

Why is she only at college 2 days a week? It does not sound much at all. What is she taking there? I thought most sixth forms were pretty full days Monday to Friday.

Ah, okay, gotcha.

Greengrow Read the thread. Don't expect the OP or anyone else to sift out the bits of information you want to know. It's all there ^

We all know you earn a lot of money

shes not in 6th form its standard college. its a beauty course dont know why its only 2 days just how it is.. but as i said its a big step that she has managed to go in from them 2 days. quite proud of her tonight. she meant to finish bewteen 4-5 depending on tutor. but she stayed late so she could have a client and she doing stuff at college not sure what yet as she not home yet. but she was just packing up at 7.30 when i called her so maybe shes really getting into it.

yeah money is not great. to be honest i could probably give her a bit more. maybe i will when theres been a good pattern to things.

I would expect her to keep her room tidy, not leave her stuff lying around and make herself supper. But as a pp said, your younger dcs are simply not her responsibility- they are yours! If she volunteers fine, if not, fair enough

i think its about give and take. im quite sure when she has a child oneday she would like me to baby sit :) i dont think that it matters that she is their sister.

Sorry, taken me hours to read the whole thread. Doesn't sound like too much to me, especially since she is being paid to do the school run and the cleaning seems to be done every day, which suggests it is only a half an hour job to tidy, rather than her cleaning up a week's worth of mess every Wednesday.

on the after school club thing, i may well be wrong, but i thought if you were on a very low income the tax credits covered 70% of childcare? So that £14 a day (£42 a week) actually only equates to around £13 a week, when she is already paying dd £10 to do it anyway? So it would only cost her an extra £3 a week if dd didn't do it- that is hardly relying on dd to co-parent/ provide childcare, is it?!

in fact, given the after school club is the same price for ten mins or 2 hours, that £3 a week sounds like a bargain!

bedraggledmumoftwo i forgot about the help with childcare :)