To hate Sunday roast dinners.....

[Toastandstrawberryjam]

It's not Sunday big family dinners I hate. It's specifically roast dinners.

Firstly every single time we have one (or I eat one somewhere else) I'm ill afterwards. I have no idea what it is but some part of it sets off an upset stomach followed by days of cramps. I'm ok if I just eat the meat and a few veggies but frankly that's not the most exciting of dinners.

Then there's the stipulation of "roast rules", always in the evening not at lunchtime. Invariably being everybody is tired and the DC barely eat anything. Then there's the "at least 2 types of potato" rule (but preferably 3 - roast, new, mash) and "at least 5 types of veg". It's such a palaver.

Last week I cooked roast chicken with crunchy baked potatoes, ratatouille and nice bread - that to me was perfect. Low fuss, minimal clean up. But it's not classed as a proper roast here :(

He quite possibly wouldn't eat it if it was served as a tray bake. Not without some heavy sighing over it not being a proper dinner. Roasts follow the roast rules IHO.
He pays the bills but I've made a note about the extra costs for this week (he seems to believe I live on lobster when he's not here...).

I'm sorry op but you are bowing down to him.

Just top it now. Tell him no

Christmas is a more involved version of Sunday roast?????

Do you hire a commercial kitchen and provide a dozen versions of potatoes and veg?

How does it become more involved?

You are beginning to irritate me too, op.

He basically wants you to provide a full on Toby Carvery job every week. He is being ridiculous. Nobody needs 5 types of veg!
Does MIL do this type of roast each week? Could you send him there for it and enjoy a normal roast in peace?

He quite possibly wouldn't eat it if it was served as a tray bake. Not without some heavy sighing over it not being a proper dinner. Roasts follow the roast rules IHO.
He pays the bills but I've made a note about the extra costs for this week (he seems to believe I live on lobster when he's not here...).

Hang on? My wife pays the bills but I would be really pissed off if she wanted me to justify what I ate when she wasn't around. And as for justifying the food bill how about:
"If you don't like the food bill then you do the shopping and cooking"

Do you have to "justify" the heating bill too if he thinks it's too much?

Aren't we getting slightly off topic ;) and apologies to those I am annoying.

He can't go to MILs as she is dead. Actually that adds to the guilt too because we used to go there once a month so he could get a proper roast.

(And heating bill question? Yeah I have to justify if I want the hearing on during the day)

In my job, I get lots of parents saying to me, I can't turn off the XBox after an hour - he [the child] would have a complete meltdown.

Sounds like your DH needs some behaviour management and you, OP, need some strategies to enable you to cope with his tantrums.

May I recommend 123-Magic? Meant for kids, but sounds like it would work perfectly on your DH.

Bollocks to that!
If he wants it, he makes it. Tonight we are having homemade fishcakes (last night's mash being used up) with peas and corn and a chocolate fudge cake for pudding. The teenagers are really looking forward to it.

Why are you with him?

We dont bother with sunday dinner as everyone likes light meals not rigid set meals at the weekend. Sometimes we have the sunday roast on a Monday or later or once a month or just whenever then we really enjoy it as a lovely meal.

I love roast dinners but your DH sounds like a total knobber.

You have to 'explain' the food bill to him? What century do you live in?

Make sure he clears up after dinner, cos I bet he has used every pan in the kitchen. And you clear up afterwards when you cook.

Because he won't eat a simple version! Just like he won't eat anything that comes out of a slow cooker (not proper food)

Cook what you want, the way you want it. He either eats it or makes himself something else.

It drives me insane. So I do it to save the arguments

WTAF? The more you 'just do it' the worse this will keep getting. Just say 'No' and do things your way. Let him rant, have a decent row about it & move your life forwards. This is ridiculous.

And as for resources? Not really. I had budgeted my meals for the week but he insisted on a roast so yesterday I was back to Tescos to buy the food for it which is IMO an expensive meal, and it will be me who has to explain why the food bill is so high this week!!

??? You do the meal planning & budgeting (frankly, unless you're finding things very tight you can take that idea and shove it as well) then he demands & you let him??? And go shopping again??? Then justify why the food bill is high???

You don't need AIBU re Sunday Roasts, you need Relationships! Why the actual hell are you putting up with this...and I suspect it's the tip of the iceberg :(

you know that this has nothing to do with roast dinners, don't you? He sounds like a controlling bully.

I wouldnt cook him so much as a boiled egg if he had that attitude.

You are not "Providing" his meal for him? fuck that. Is he three? I assume not, so if it means that much to him I suggest he does it from now on. You have started by making him cook today, and I suggest that you carry it on. The next time he demands a roast say "Fine, I was going to cook X, but if you want to cook a roast then I will cook X on Monday". And stick to it.

We love a good roast beef or chicken meal but not every week and always at lunch. Only one kind of potato (roast ), my light mini Yorkshire puds if beef, plus just one veg or ready prepared selection of veg (microwaved). And nice gravy.

Very easy, you don't have to eat huge quantities and there's lovely pink beef to have with salad and jackets tomorrow, so no work then.

I realise it's been said already, but your problem is definitely the twat you're married to rather than the dinner.

Oh dear. Your husband sounds like he would make anyone hate roast dinner. And I say that as a massive roast dinner fan. Poor you. Agree with sunnyrosegarden that he sounds like a bully. Is he like this with other things or just roast dinners?

Buy a basket of plastic toy food that toddlers like to play with. Present that to him on a plate. When you get an incredulous look from him, you can say 'There. THAT'S not 'proper food.' Everything I cook IS proper food. Stop complaining and making up rules or you can piss off out to a restaurant and order them around instead.'

So you don't have a Roast dinner problem, you have a DH problem. Sounds like you are married to a complete knob. Maybe you should do something about that.

We have a roast every other weekend - DH would have them more often, but DD isn't as keen.

Last week we had honey roasted lamb, roast potatoes, parsnips, carrots, carrot and swede, green beans and cabbage. We have lots of veg so that I can do bubble and squeak or Roast Dinner Soup on Mondays.

Tonight we are having Gammon in Coke with New Pots, corn on the cob and salad.

Neither meal is that much hassle and DH wouldn't complain about either. Not if he wanted to keep his balls.

Def take the kids and dog for a walk, then do a big thing about how tired you are after doing all that work for him, keeping them out the way while he cooked the treat he wants.

He sounds horrible, tbh. How long since his mum passed away? Is there some issue there with missing his mum? That would be understandable, but still doesn't mean he gets to control whether you can have the heating on. Is money quite tight all round, or only when it comes to you being warm?

Maybe you should spend a few days on bed, snuggling under the duvet, because you're too cold to do housework.

Would you describe the both of you being equal in this relationship?

It's not going off topic if the topic is the fact that your husband appears to be a demanding, passive aggressive, spoilt whiny arse who views you as a domestic appliance slash employee is it?